How Do You Feel About Asexuals?

[Anonymous]

Do you like asexuals? Would you date asexuals? Stuff like that, what do you think about asexuals? In case you don't know. Asexual- Someone who has no desire to have sex, who has no libido, hates sex, and experiences romantic attraction and ONLY makes love romantically. Note: I'm not trolling or trying to be rude when I say this. If you hate asexuals and wouldn't date them, SHAME on you. You're immature, sad, disrespectful, rude, stupid, a jerk, and bring shame to the human race. It's anything but mature and smart to automatically turn down on someone and write them off for being asexual. You people are 1 of the main reasons to why some asexuals develop a bad self image of themselves. Hating someone for being asexual is like hating someone for not liking to eat ice cream. It's hating someone for their opinion that they can't change, hating sex and being asexual. Also, this is coming from an sexual person with a HIGH libido. I'm not only sexual but also perverted. But I'm in a relationship forever with my asexual wife and I love her. I'm sexual like nearly everybody but not like nearly everybody I'm also perverted but unlike most perverts I'm actually MATURE and don't turn down on people like that, I like people for who they are and know that no sex isn't a big deal. Life isn't ALL about sex, it's only 1% or 2% of life like everything else you do. Sex is just something that I LOVE doing, I don't NEED to do it to live. It's just as simple as anything else I love doing, like lets say eating ice cream. I would like it if my wife decided that she wanted to have sex and maybe even touch her sexually and pervertedly outside of sex, but only if she REALLY changed and wanted to do it. I wouldn't let her do it just to simply make me pleased. I hope that you idiots who hated asexuals and wouldn't date them before reading this, got smarter and more mature. If you didn't and want to continue being such jerks and continue bring shame to humanity than go for it, not my problem.

[Mesonfielde]

"Asexual- Someone who has no desire to have sex, who has no libido, hates sex, and experiences romantic attraction and ONLY makes love romantically."

Actually your definition is incorrect, "asexual" literally just means "incapable of sexual arousal". Well, you could say "they have no sex drive" but that's fairly similar, but it's important to note that it's not a choice, but they just don't feel anything from it because the stimulation towards sexual release would be what provides the feeling of pleasure, and the arousal is completely missing.

"Hating someone for being asexual is like hating someone for not liking to eat ice cream."
Incorrect analogy, sexual arousal is a biological response, while ice cream is a food product.

And from your post, all I'd see is someone bitter and someone who tries to feel superior about themselves for dismissing sexuality as it's nowhere nearly as important as the media and culture currently claims. Which, is true! But let's not forget that sexual arousal without release causes a bunch of physical distress, hence why asexuals have a hard time dating someone whose body forces them to want sex, while they themselves have no idea what that even means.

As for your poll...
"I Like Asexuals And Would Date Them. I Care About Personality And The Person, Not Just Sex [...]"

You don't need to hate sex in order to care about the personality and the person. The two are not mutually exclusive. You can be interested in having sex with only someone whose personality and the person you already find attractive and admire like no one else's. Also, asexuals don't *hate* sex, they just don't feel anything that would make it pleasureable. That makes it hard to blame them for it.

So I couldn't even vote in your poll. Figures. Sex is a mutual activity revolving around physical affection and emotional reciprocation, something you do with someone you love, or at least it should be. I don't really see why liking sex makes you a bad person.

[one_true_alpha]

I didn't like how he only put two options, whether you like them and would date them or hate them and think their weird because sex is so important, there wasn't even a third option where you can just be friends. This question was more of a rant, an annoying one at that from a narrow minded individual.

[cipher42]

Whose definition are you using? Because one definition is "Lacking interest in or desire for sex", and that is the definition most asexuals use to describe themselves. Also, "Incorrect analogy, sexual arousal is a biological response, while ice cream is a food product." I think you're missing the point of an analogy. An analogy is not meant to compare two things that are exactly the same, otherwise it would be useless. Admittedly, it's not the best comparison, but that doesn't invalidate it completely. A better one might be hating someone due to their skin color or gender. But other than that, I agree that the Asker's options are highly limited, and seem rather overly angry.

[Mesonfielde]

Craving ice cream doesn't cause you physical distress that gives you nausea when you try to eat until you have somehow spoofed your sexual release. Basically, being aroused and not making your body think you have had sex literally makes you feel like shit. Comparing it to liking ice cream is a frickin' joke. Even skin color wouldn't be the best analogy, because they wouldn't want to do something that you would love doing (and something that not getting makes you feel like crap). Skin color really is just melanin quantity. Those who just say 'I don't like the idea of sex so I don't want it' even though they can be aroused and have a desire for sex but just don't act on it and consciously suppress are kinda deceiving themselves, in my opinion. I also don't think that is a healthy approach.

[cipher42]

Well, I believe that the asker's analogy was simply about hating someone purely because they are asexual, not about being unwilling to be in a relationship with an asexual. In which case the analogy would work fine, because it would be about hating someone for something they can't change despite it not affecting you. Now, if his analogy was about not being willing to be in a relationship with said person or about not being willing to have sex with someone you are in a relationship with, (which is possible, seeing as he appears to see hating someone and being unwilling to date them as the same thing) then no, the analogy would not work. And actual asexuals honestly don't desire sex at all, so the whole deceiving themselves thing is irrelevant. But even so, if someone honestly thinks that, and it isn't harming anyone else, I don't see the issue with holding that belief.

[Mesonfielde]

Indeed, having no desire whatsoever aka being incapable of being sexually aroused really is something you just cannot alter. I've been in a relationship with an asexual female for more than two years now, I've got this figured out (mostly), lol. As a highly sexual person with anorgasmia (yes that is not a choice either thank you very much), it can be a bit of a pain in the balls at times, but hey, it is still possible to make it work out right with the right compromises.

[cipher42]

Going to briefly point out that there is a difference between the two. Someone may not feel sexual desire, but can still be aroused and reach orgasm, at least physical. The physical and the mental process, while related, are different enough to allow one to happen while the other does not. And just like any other sexual orientation, asexuality is part of a spectrum, so there isn't exactly just one thing that all asexual people are like. Just something I thought I ought to make note of.

[Mesonfielde]

Fair enough.

[Asker]

Ik that this whole thing is over and all but 1 quick reply. Out of this ignorant question that I posted the definition was the ONLY thing that was correct and decent. But I can expect you to bash me on that too since EVERYTHING except that was just very ignorant and stupid.

[Anonymous]

I've never been quite sure what asexual means, where it means not heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual or whether it just means not interested in sex. I'm heterosexual but I'm not really interested in sex (I do have a sex drive though as I masturbate at least once a day), that being said I would have sex with my gf if I had one if she wanted it, I know how important it is for girls. Does that make me an asexual?
Anyway being asexual certainly isn't a bad thing, and I agree with you, anyone who has a problem with asexuals is probably someone with really low IQ who only really has animal instincts, and as wanting sex is an animal instinct they can't understand people who don't want it.

I've never actually known anyone have a problem with asexuals though

[cipher42]

It means not feeling sexual desire. Note that this can present itself differently in different people. For instance, some asexuals are entirely disgusted by sex, but some are willing to have it but just don't feel desire for it. Some even masturbate, because they can still receive pleasure from sexual stimulation, despite not truly desiring it. Basically, all Asexuality is is the lack of desire for sex.

[wölfin-fräulein]

for the ones who say nonsense. Asexuals do exist. The reasons that results to asexuality is not clear, the biological reasons can be having a very low sex drive to damages to certain parts of brain and some can be results of some mental disorders and etc. plus it can have a psychological basis. And a true asexual as it is said must have at least a biological and a psychological reason for not engaging in sex.
So they are real and it is completely different with celibacy.

"and ONLY makes love romantically". No they do not have any interest to sex. but they can be emotionally attached and get attracted or fall in love.

I do like Asexuals because I had an asexual friend who was very Clever and good in Mathematics. And had good looks but wasn't interested in sexual activities.
would I date an asexual? If he's emotionally attracted probably yes. why not. But probably not for living a life because it would be hard. It is better that for a living asexuals live with each other so that nobody sacrifices his or her sexual interests for the other. though I agree that sex is just part of life and relationship, but it is also important for the body and mental health.

I appreciate that you like your woman and I hope you have a good life together. I respect you.
And you could write all of these in a more decent way, there was no need for the 'a bit' aggressive attitude.

[Asker]

thanks for the compliment about my relationship. I regret posting this question all together, the 1st few sentences suck and are very unspecific, and the note is just pure ignorance and stupidity. I'll post it again soon, redesigned and all new with a nice attitude. I was drinking beer anyway so I probably got drunk and went full retard. And asexuality is even more normal than being gay, it's very clear. It's just disliking a certain thing, not having desire for it, and not being interested in it, and that thing is sex for the asexuals.

[wölfin-fräulein]

welcome.

[turnpost]

lol Why not? hmmmmmmmmm Darwin rolling in his grave, why not lmao.

[cipher42]

I'm absolutely fine with asexuals, but I would not date one. Two of my best friends are asexual, and their asexuality in no way affects how I view them. I fully support asexuals, and I actually tend to get quite irritated at anyone who claims that asexuality isn't "real" or that asexuals "just haven't met the right person", or crap like that.

However, I don't believe that I and an asexual would work in a relationship. I want to have sex, and enjoy sexual contact. I wouldn't want to date someone with no desire for that sort of thing. I believe that sex is often quite important in a relationship if at least one member actually does desire it.

So basically, while asexuality in no way affects my actual view of a person, and I fully support their right to express their sexuality however they choose, I just don't think I and an asexual would work out, so I wouldn't date one. (At least not unless it was a very special situation.)

[Mesonfielde]

Responded

[Marihorror]

Since when is "hating" someone and not wanting to date them the same thing? I don't want to date a lot of people for various reasons, but I don't "hate" anyone.

It's totally cool if you're willing to go the rest of their life without sex but it's ridiculous for you to expect other people to do so. Sex is a natural desire for most people and they shouldn't be forced to go without it. Humans have the biological instinct to reproduce to keep our species alive which is why we have a sex drive in the first place. From the moment we begin going through puberty, sex becomes a huge part of our lives.

When I'm in a relationship with a man I shouldn't feel like I have to sacrifice something as natural as sex. It should be something that we can bond over together.

[jeanbean]

Well, I guess I'm the worst of the worst when it comes to the human race, because I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who won't have sex with me.

[Asker]

Why are you STILL paying attention to that stupid note after the updates? Just do your thing and what's best for you, don't be in a relationship with asexuals, have a relationship with other sexuals just like you, like I said in the update. It's ok to not want to be in a relationship with asexuals like I said in the update. If you hate asexuals in general though than you suck, like I said in the update.

[kep79]

I like women like you :)

[jeanbean]

Jesus fucking christ, you don't have to be such a dick about it. Holy fuck.

[Asker]

@jeanbean I'm not, I'm just saying. Also, you don't have to curse so much, it doesn't make you look cool,

[jeanbean]

I'm not trying to look cool, this is how I talk.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I'm asexual. I'm just not really into wanting to have sex. But I'm an alright being, I can make jokes and talk about sex like everybody else and not be weird or immature about it. I just don't feel the need or want to have sex for reasons that I feel like it would involve some sort of level of bonding and I don't like sharing my air and space in such close intimate proximity with someone.

[Amy10223]

There is nothing wrong with being Ace. It's not something you can fix, because it'a how you were wired when you were born. It's no one's business but you're own, and your partner if you are ace. I was suppsoed to go out with someone who is asexual, however things never worked out, and I wonder why. He knows I knew, and surprisngly he was flirtious with me. He was other things as well (aceflux and akiosexual) and what I got from that, was that he could only feel attraction towards someone after some time and forming an meotional bond with them. Which, I always thought was normal, being I am the same way.
So you have to learn to live among those with a less tolerant mentality. These people, you cannot help, nor hate. Their ignorance on such matters is a reflection on themselves and how close-minded they are.

[LittleSally]

I wouldn't date an asexual. I always thought they were't interested in dating... O. o
What's the point?

Also: "Some asexual people engage in sexual activity despite lacking a desire for sex or sexual attraction, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to please romantic partners or a desire to have children." - so they have no desire to actually have sex nor do they feel pleasure from it, they only feel release.
This isn't enough for me... i want the other person to actually enjoy what they're doing...

[Asker]

I'm that just about EVERYBODY likes dating with the correct person.

[Asker]

Stupid typing error. *I think that EVERYBODY likes dating as long as it's with the correct person that they love, even asexuals Not liking to date is ULTRA rare.*

[LittleSally]

Oh... wasn't aware of that. O. o

[cipher42]

Here, a more involved explanation: sexual and romantic orientation aren't actually the same. They are related, but they can actually be different. So, people can lack sexual desire but still fall in love and experience romantic attraction, in which case they would be asexual but not aromantic. People can also be romantically attracted to only one gender, but sexually attracted to others. So basically, romantic and sexual orientation don't have to match. You can be heterosexual but biromantic, or pansexual but homoromantic. I actually have two friends who are sisters, one of whom is asexual biromantic and one who is asexual aromantic.

[LittleSally]

Okay, but I'd hate it if someone was a-anything... it's so sad and deprecating.

[harakiri]

I would not date an asexual. I'm a sexual person and would like to have that reciprocated in a relationship.

[dymphnak]

Well I think nothing of asexuals, they are just like everyone else and don't need my or any other person's approval. However, I think it's unfair to judge a person for not wanting to date an asexual because they want sex. Just like you can't ethically force an asexual to have sex, you can't force and/or shame a sexual being into abstinence. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who would give them sex, and I don't see it as shallow.

[AnimeDreama]

I don't have a problem with them, but I do find it hard to believe that a person can be asexual.

[Asker]

It isn't hard to believe at all to me because it's just disliking sex and having no desire to have it and that's 1 word, an OPINION that they can't help or change.

[Emma_Edw]

Asexual doesn't mean we dislike sex, it means that we are literally incapable of arousal! I have many asexual friends and I am that way too!

[Berethor]

Asexual pretend to be sexual and shows that he is immature not only about sex.

[MysteriousFlower]

First of all, if you are going to post a sensitive topic try and look at it a rational argument.
Most common reasons why people are asexual because they were sexually assaulted. There are pathological reasons for this. However I understand that there are hormonal differences, and people just choose not to have sex at a reasonable age for other reasons, could be in regards to religion and beliefs.
I think majority of the time they lost there sexual drive because of what I mentioned above and they can change once in a relationship, if they are truly asexual I don't see why it is a stigma or a problem.
Sexuality in general does not phase me personally, but I am straight. The times are different compared to the 1960's.

[Zelda_5]

Asexual means experiences little to no sexual attraction. They can still want and enjoy sex, they're just not sexually attracted to the person.
I think they're cool and would definitely date somebody who is.

[GiveitaShance]

As an asexual: Every asexual is different. Personally, I dont like physical contact and I hate the idea of sex as if grosses me out. Its not something I want to try to understand. I dont see it as a problem and its not something I want a "cure" for. Whether its a biography or psychological problem does not matter to me. If I were to meet another asexual than great but personally I wouldn't have sex with a romantic partner either way. Call me selfish or whatever but if I were to get a partner in the future they would have to understand that I will never be physically intimate with them. I prefer my isolation though so I highly doubt I would ever get a partner lol

[Voldemort]

Woah, hating and not wanting to date are two completely different. I don't date women but that doesn't mean that I hate them. Most of my friends are female. Wanting to be sex with the person you're spending your life with isn't selfish at all. For me, sex isn't just about getting off but rather being intimate and feeling emotionally connected. There's nothing more intimate than allowing someone inside of you.

[abundantlyrich]

They're just normal people... but they will offend extremely sexual people. lol.

[dominiquois]

I'm pretty sure nobody can undergo mitosis so nobody is asexual. Just sterile or celibate.

[cipher42]

Just because the word means multiple different things doesn't mean the lesser used definition is incorrect. Definitions of Asexual: "1. Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless. 2. Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding. 3. Lacking interest in or desire for sex." In this case, the definition being used is the third, in reference to the sexual orientation.

[dominiquois]

Yep, no thanks. The 1st and 2nd definitions are the only ones found in nature and the only ones that actually make any functional sense so I'm gonna go with those.

[Mesonfielde]

I thought that too but I have encountered empirical evidence that you can indeed not have an arousal response in your brain. And that touching you anywhere sexually is just "more sensitive tissue" maybe even ticklish but other than that it doesn't do anything.

[cipher42]

Too damn bad. You can't just decide what a word does and doesn't mean. That's not up to you. If a word is used a certain way, and accepted to mean something, and said meaning is listed as a definition in the dictionary, that's what the word means, whether you like it or not. As for the naturalness, as Mesonfield said, there is evidence that asexuality is in fact caused by biological factors. And it has been found that there are some animals that simply display no interest in mating, so you are entirely incorrect about it being found in nature. But even other than that, you know what else is natural? Mutations. Just because said mutations may not be beneficial to the survival of the species does not make them any less natural.

[dominiquois]

@mesonfield: Sexuality depends on your ability to reproduce succesfully not how much or little you can respond to physical touch. So for women, working uterus, eggs, tubes, etc. Men, sperm count, functional sperm, etc. @cipher42: For one, Santa Claus is also in the dictionary and that doesn't make him real. Yolo is too, doesn't make it any more logically innacurate or less of a ridiculous word. Lol. Ok... even if the person isn't being an idiotic hipster claiming to be an asexual, they still are either just: sterile/impotent or celibate. Yes, you are right, mutations are natural. Asexuality can be natural its just SERVES NO FUNCTION and is therefore BIOLOGICALLY USELESS. There, I fixed it for ya.

[cipher42]

I didn't say real, I said it still means that. "Santa Clause" still means a man who delivers presents on Christmas, despite him not being real. "Unicorn" still means a horse-like creature with a horn on it's forehead, even though they don't exist. "Asexual" still means a person who does not experience sexual desire, whether you believe in them or not. Still no. Sterile and celibate people can still feel sexual desire. Asexuality is when someone FEELS NO SEXUAL DESIRE. And just because it doesn't serve a biological function doesn't make it not real. Again, there is plenty of evidence for asexuality being both natural and very real.

[dominiquois]

That first. Did not even make sense. So I'm just gonna skip down to the 2nd part. Then they have low sex drives or just impotent or have a ultra rare nervous system disorder. I can understand people using the term asexual to describe lack of sexual feelings that makes sense because they have a lack of a better word. However, treating asexuality like a sexuality DOES NOT MAKE LOGICAL SENSE, because it's not a sexuality at all but rather the lack of it. On top of that it's only considered a sexuality if you're a fricken amoeba.

[dominiquois]

*first part

[cipher42]

On the first part. You said: "For one, Santa Claus is also in the dictionary and that doesn't make him real." I never claimed that something being in the dictionary makes it real. Unicorn is still a word, and means what I said, despite unicorns not being real. Asexual is also a word, and one that can mean lacking sexual desire. Yes. An asexual is someone with an extremely low or non-existent sex drive. That's literally what asexual means. And it's not a sexuality so much as a sexual orientation. Yes, it can be seen as the lack of a sexuality or sexual orientation, but it's far easier to just call it one. Imagine being asked "What's your sexual orientation?" and answering "I don't have one." That's far more confusing than just saying "asexual".

[dominiquois]

Ok, we are saying more or less the same thing. Lol. XD

[cipher42]

So it appears. I apologize for any antagonism, it's just that it irritates me when people attempt to make words mean what they don't (crap like claiming homophobia is the fear of homosexuals), which appeared to be what you were doing.

[wölfin-fräulein]

Asexuality has probable biological basis plus many other reasons. It exist and is different than celibacy. It can be considered a sexuality or not, but most probably can. celibacy is a choice, and even if forced on someone from childhood cannot beat sexuality, Asexuality in the other hand is unconscious and will not change through the whole like of an asexual. There are psychological reasons for some asexuals related to celibacy following childhood experiences or so, but they will not be considered asexuals unless there is a probable biological factor. So those who are considered asexuals are considered through precise analysing. they do exist.

[dominiquois]

It's ok. Lol, it just means you're passionate about what you're saying nothing necessarily wrong with that. Omg, I HATE that word homophobia. I've never seen anyone ever be afraid of homosexuals. I have on the other hand seen people afraid of pickles which was weird. You might not agree with the lifestyle doesn't make you a phobe. It's a deflection tactic and a really cheap one at that. I don't like crack or agree with crackheads doesn't make somebody a crackheadphobic.

[cipher42]

But it still means what it means. And if we're going by etymology alone, it would have to mean the fear of the same, not the fear of homosexuals. Which is why we don't go by etymology alone. If we did, hemophilia would be the love of blood. Language just works that way. Words mean what they do because of how they are used, not because of their origin, backgrounds, or root words. When you think about it, words are arbitrary. If everyone referred to the ocean as the "rose", then a "rose" would be an ocean, because that's what it would be understood to mean.

[dwiller943]

I actually would prefer an asexual boyfriend. I like sex (just being honest).
But I don't care for it, and would rather do other things.

[Ghosty]

The answers you provided are slightly extreme, so I won't vote. I just can say that being in a relationship with someone who's asexual (which you didn't know in the first place), is very hard, since there always will be a part of you that doesn't get what it needs. Of course it's something you can't control, but there will be some fights about it, and it's gonna be hard to live the relationship to the fullest.

[decemberxblue]

Besides jealousy that I cannot attain such a gift? Unfortunately I like sex, so it wouldn't work out relationship wise.

[turnpost]

Crap options. I wouldn't want to date an asexual. They seem to require a way higher standard of sex to make up for lack of sex.

[Not_a_guy_or_gal]

I'm asexual and if my partner requires sex to be happy I don't mind fulfilling that role, I just don't look for it in a partner and nor will I initiate it because I don't think of them like that but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex I just don't think of anybody like that, keep in mind this varies from person some are sex repulsed meaning the thought makes them vomit though I would like to note I do sometimes experience that it just depends.

[Anonymous]

I agree