there are several potential advantages for waiting until marriage to have sex:
- lower risk of STDs.
- knowing that someone is interested in you as a person and spending their life with you, and not only wants your body.
- self respect. we don't find happiness by giving into our feelings, but by mastering them. exercise and college are perfect examples: exercise and college aren't always fun, and can be a real hassle. but when you master your feelings, you learn discipline and earn a valuable reward such as good health or a good job. in contrast, giving into all your feelings leads to negative consequences. and girls who sleep around tend to have lower self esteem. I think the shift towards an approval of premarital sex over the last few decades it's one of the reasons that women higher rates of depression; women simply *can not* separate their emotions from sex as easily as men can.
- the "test drive" mentality is so short-sighted that I don't know where to begin. it's insulting, as if people's bodies and minds are interchangeable, and up for sale. if a man and a woman are both in good health and free of major physical defects, their sexual parts will both function just fine.
- sex is better in a serous, committed, loving, long-term relationship. anyone who says otherwise is in deep denial or doesn't know any different.
the only potential disadvantage is people who get married mainly as an excuse to have sex. I was raised Mormon, and lots of my friends got married mostly so they could get it on without feeling guilty. then 5 years later they snap out of it. not that they don't love their spouse, and not that their marriages are doomed. but they have to deal with some problem they didn't consider because their thinking was so focused on the short-term.
There aren't any advantages that I can see, it seems like a pretty pointless process.
There are religious reasons but if you're considering it then it seems like you're not worried about those ones. So think of it this way, you have sex with him and for whatever reason the two of you just can't make it mutually fun in bed, you and he can still go your separate ways clean instead of spending thousands on a wedding then another several thousand on the divorce.
Would you buy a car without test driving it first? If you're smart you won't, so why would you want to commit your life to someone before knowing that they're good for you in bed?
I guess an advantage is that you will definitely under no circumstances fall pregnant..then once you are married that at least shouldn't be an issue anymore..(unless you don't want to have kids)
apart from that I have personally not been able to come up with a reason to wait until marriage, unless of course it is a religious reason that you feel is very important to you.
Personally I think you should wait until you really feel ready for it...I don't believe in just sleeping with anyone for the sake of it (or because you are a certain age..or because everyone else does it.), but if you are in a long term committed relationship..that is when I would say it would be ok...
It always also makes me wonder if people that wait until they get married to have sex..rush into marriage more then people who don't...To me marriage is a very serious commitment between to people that are in love with each other...and I wouldn't want to get married for the wrong reasons..( I am not saying people are..just wondering)
You get to say you waited. =P
The only benefits are social benefits. If people you respect think that waiting until you are married is a valuable thing, then you will rise in their estimation. If they don't give a rat's behind about it, then waiting is pretty much just whether or not you wanted to wait.
My advice? Whether you decide to wait or not, decide FOR YOURSELF. Make the decision because YOU want to wait or not. If you are happy with what you decide, that is all that matters.
This doesn't mean go completely against the wishes of your family, of course. Think about it, if they're going to be angry at you, will that make you happy? Consider all the things that might happen and weigh them with what makes you happy first.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Virginity gives you value, and the ones that deny that, are full of sh*t.
Anyway, if you have been dating this guy for years, he probably deserves it, it sucks to see making a guy wait endlessly and then give up their v card to some other random dude that didn't deserve it.
If we are talking about months, he can wait.
Don't do it.You're still a teenager and young,when you look back on it,you may regret it.And you aren't a car,and you aren't made to test drive
Haha gotc147 got it completely wrong
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