How do I get my GF to be more dirty?

[Mysheep123]

I've tried it all! Help please! My girlfriend is, I guess, shy. I tried to ask her if she would be interested in watching porn, (hollywood, Soft, educational, etc. ) but, no luck. I don't want her to get addicted, just to get and idea, how to do more things. I gave her information on sex tips, how to do do's, positions, sexual questions, everything. Yet no luck. She doesn't take control in sex, or on phone sex. When we try phone sex, it's good but I do all the talking. When I ask her to help me she hesitates, and she does it, but it's no good, she laughs, studders, thinks about it a lot before she says it. And I know she is a little bi-curious, so I tell her to get a girls in th fantasy, so she does it, I love it, she loves it, we cum, yet she couldn't tell me a fantasy about her giving me head. I don't know if it's because I really like it when she adds someone, and I tend to moan a lot when she tells me or what? Sorry for so many questions in one paragraph, please answer what you can. =)

[tammymac]

I'm thinking she's not too confident, just like everyone else I'm assuming she is young and inexperienced. To be honest there is only a limited amount you can do to make her confidence higher. Confidence is something that comes from inside, and sometimes sexual confidence is the hardest to gain.

She may be under the impression that women are not supposed to enjoy sex (I know it seems like old fashion thinking but it is possible) that maybe why she does not let herself let go and just have fun with it. If this is the case she will need for you to move very slowly and do everything you can to make her comfortable with having sex, before you even think about kinking it up. Pushing her may backfire on you, persuasion works a whole lot better then force ever did.

She probably thinks sex should be the all encompassing whirlwind it is in the romantic movies. If you can make it that way for her, she will want to do anything and everything with you and for you.

Guys and girls see sex differently. Most guys see sex in stages from a great pass time, to just sexual gratification, to the truly loving intensity of actually connecting with someone emotionally. Most young women, see it first and foremost as an emotional connection, the intimacy, then the passion, and then gratification. You need to make her feel that connection first, then she will be more and more comfortable with exploring different things. Patience is the key, you have to be ok with waiting for her to be comfortable and confident enough to do some exploration.

[Sweetiesweet]

Hm. She seems a bit shy. How old is she? She sounds inexperienced but don't make her do something she is not comfortable with (like watching porn) if you have asked her numerous times and she said no. Respect that. Just tell her you want her to feel comfortable (having phone sex or whatever it may be) if she feels like you really care about her wants and her insecurities then she will eventually come out of her shell and try more things. Give her time.

[April187]

Well I can tell you that I'll try anything & suggest anything but when it comes to talking dirty I SUCK lol I'm not good at making up things on the top of my head so dirty talk doesn't work too well. Maybe she's the same way?

[ionlife]

MySheep,

Just be patient. Every journey begins with the first step which you have taken. She sounds like she is not very experienced so let her ease into these things. Compliment her when she steps out of her element, initiate new positions - don't just give her a how-to manual, ask her to tell you more about her fantasies which she seems to love, guide her in bed on what you want. Make her feel relaxed and comfortable. Don't show too much disappointment either as shy girls may retract further inside.

Just remember that /every/ girl has an inner freak on lock down deep inside. It is your duty and task to find it and to release it but the girl has to be /very/ comfortable with you and she has to trust you 110%. Many girls are just afraid to show their inner freak because they fear that it isn't appropriate behavior of a girl. Look at some of the questions on here and you will see that women think quite a lot of what we men would think if they did this or that, and how you would react if they said or touched you a certain way, and so on. They are afraid to be themselves because society as certain expectations of them - more-so from them than us - but if you can get her to trust you with her inner most thoughts then you'll be one of the happiest guys in the bedroom.

So go make her comfortable, demonstrate to her that she can trust you, don't betray that trust and unlock her inner freak. The effort is worth it and even you will enjoy the journey along that trip but patience is a must!

[mytsoguy]

This is what happens when you are with a shy girl :-)

Short answer is to be patient with her however she does need to fully understand that you want to add more to your sex life. I would suggest going the compromise route and telling her that you would like to have one night where you two can kick back and watch some porn together and see where things go. If she likes chicks, pick a good flick with lots of g-on-g action included. Don't jump her before the opening credits end and just see where things go. If you gradually raise her comfort level you may have a real animal on your hands. And if not, then maybe freaky sex is just not meant to be with her.

[ImHere22]

Throw mud on her

[johnsmith2116]

I'd like to give a long, descriptive answer, but I can't. You found the girl that you have, and this is just how she is. Being dirty just isn't in her.