I bled (little spots) on boyfriends bed sheets and rug; he's pretty angry and disgusted but my period hasn't come yet. What do I do or say?

[Anonymous]

The first thing is he picked me up from work under the impression we were just going to hang out, but instead took me back to his place. After he got me undressed I was cold and wanted to put my clothes back on, but he convinced me otherwise. He doesn't have much furniture in his living room so there's just a rug, chairs and a table. Before laying down on the rug I asked for something to lay on or in, and tried to put my clothes back on. He asked me to keep my clothes off and said he had nothing for me to lay on. He also saw my underwear, which had (no exaggeration) about two spots from breakthrough bleeding (I'm on the pill). I told him why the spots were there and about the breakthrough bleeding. Just in case, I made an effort to stand while I was there or sit on my legs, and I tried to put my clothes back on several times because I was cold and the rug was uncomfortable. We ended up having sex in his bed and the next day waaaaay after this happened he texted me (late at night) that I need to have a heart to heart with another woman because I got blood spots on his comforter and rug and he will have to replace one and get the other cleaned. He told me I need to learn to be more ladylike and this is unacceptable. Naturally I'm extremely embarrassed and he's upset and disgusted. My period still hasn't come. Sex was a little painful but I don't think it would cause this. I'm not sure what's right or what to do? I offered to come over and take his comforter to have it cleaned and to see & clean the spots, but he wouldn't let me come over and said it's not that big of a deal, but no guy should ever see this from a girl, it's low rent, this should never happen, blah, blah. I feel like crap, but more important, I want to know how to handle or fix the situation. He didn't even want to talk to me about it. Help!

[Hidden_P]

Sounds like he's being a jackass.

Thing is. Women try our best to keep it in check. Some women don't have the fortune of being like a German clock and knowing they will come on 4 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours later. But sometimes it's a guess, and we put things in place to catch it.

There's nothing more you could have done other than grab a tampon, which not all women can do, myself included, or shove a wad of toilet paper up there - guaranteed to make any couple wet for each other.

You've offered to clean and I assume help pay any cleaning costs. But I would say sorry and leave it. What if, say, you were pregnant and god forbid have a miscarriage. You bled on his bed. Would he have a go at you for the blood, or comfort you through the ACCIDENT you didn't know was coming?

I know I'll be slated by the guys for this, but I'm trying to say ACCIDENTS happen. They don't have blood coming out their dicks that they need to guess when is coming each month. Sometimes it just surprises us.

[Hidden_P]

Also, I've done this accidentally with my boyfriend. He looked at me and said "it's okay, you can't help it". Because it's a cycle we can't control. He needs to stop being so sheltered, in my opinion.

[Orion1084]

As a guy, I completely agree with you.

[Hidden_P]

@Orion1084, thank you muffin, 'preciated! See Asker, some guys do geddit :)

[Asker]

A) Everything about your response is awesome. 2) Everyone knows wads of toilet paper haphazardly stuffed in underwear is an aphrodisiac for couples. Also, periods are masters of stealth when they want to be. and D) Yes, of course, I apologized and offered to pay and clean anything my fluids may have touched. I tried to go over the night he told me but he wouldn't let me.

[Hidden_P]

I think you've done all you can and he's acting like a little boy. You know the ones who are like "girls don't pee! Ever!" and "Nobody else has done it, you're just gross *stamps foot*". You've done more than expected and he's rejected your offer to help. If he holds it against you, what did he expect? You to turn up in your french maid outfit, cleaning products on a gold platter and your tubes freshly tied? No. You've done you're bit, it's up to him to get over it. And he will have to one day. He could settle down with a lady and then, dun dun dunnnnnnn, menopause. That's unexpected spotting too!

[dihydrogenmonoxide]

he sounds like an asshole of a boyfriend.
You warned him about the two blood spots and you told him you were cold so he should've respectfully stopped and understand the possibility that you could've bleed your vagina out when he saw blood in your panties.
He said that it was 'unlady-like"?
Vaginas bleed. Vaginas are what makes a lady a lady and when a vagina bleeds, it actually makes you more of a lady. It's not like you could control the blood flow.
Don't get his carpet cleaned. Don't do anything. It's his fault for not being responsible enough to take the signs as a "warning! sex is going to leave a big mess!"
He's being a little bitch to say he's disgusted, like really? It's just blood. He's making you feel like crap for your woman body doing its natural thing.

[christinalong337]

tell him that you'll pay to have it cleaned but other than that he needs to grow up and shut up. it's a part of being a woman. if he doesn't like it or won't deal with it, he can date men! also this situation sounds creepy and if he refused to give you something to lie down on then you can hardly be blamed. he needs to learn to be a gentleman and his attitude and rudeness is unacceptable. low rent? OH SO SORRY that having a functioning vagina is low rent? what's high rent? a fuck doll?
to fix the situation, dump him, call his mother, tell him how he treats women, and then block his number! ta da!

[Asker]

Thanks goodness! I actually thought what you and one other person said almost verbatim: "how is having a functioning vagina low rent/unladylike?" lol

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a horrible boyfriend. Sorry. First of all, you were uncomfortable having sex, yet he still kept trying to get you to do it. Second of all, he saw your underwear, that should of warned him, and finally, you can't control what happened. He sounds like a huge asshole wtf.

[Orion1084]

I have to echo what everyone else has been saying thus far. No offense, but your boyfriend sounds like an asshole.

If you wanted to put your clothes back on, you had every right to do so. The fact that he wouldn't "let" you makes him out to be an insensitive, controlling shithead.

As for the spots, that's just something that happens occasionally. It's not something a woman can control, nor is it your fault. If he would have let you put your clothes back on like you wanted, it never would have happened. Technically, that would make it his fault, if anyone's, so he has no right to bitch.

Honestly, and forgive the language, but I would tell him to go fuck himself if I were you. You deserve to be with someone who respects you, and won't make you feel like crap just for having a functioning female body.

[Orion1084]

Saw your update... You most definitely did more than your part by offering to clean it for him. It shouldn't have even been an issue in the first place, as he could have very easily taken care of such a minor inconvenience without even mentioning it. I hope that all of the responses here have cheered you up somewhat, and helped you to realize that there are better people out there more deserving of your companionship.

[Nuns_in_Heat]

He's a moron. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him about the following.

1) You decide whether or not you're wearing clothes.

2) You can control your bleeding about as much as he can control the rising or setting of the sun.

3) Buy some damn furniture.

4) General lack of respect. He shouldn't make you do anything. If you want to put your clothes back on or if you're uncomfortable, he should be doing whatever it is he has to do to make you staying at his place a comfortable and happy experience.

[Nuns_in_Heat]

I think your boyfriend down voted me...

[Asker]

I would be impressed and disturbed at the same time if he found this website and my post. Allow me to offset that clearly mistaken down vote.

[Nuns_in_Heat]

I didn't seriously think he downvoted me lol! I think it was just someone trolling.

[Asker]

Oh, I understood the joke. Sometimes it's an automatic reaction to respond to someone's jokes seriously and blandly. I don't know when I picked that up. It was supposed to be a version of dry humor but my attempts are not always that humorous :)

[CKtravel]

From a guy's perspective you might want to consider getting a different BF. What he did is completely unacceptable: if you were cold, he should've warmed you up (preferably with his own body, not a bad beginning for a foreplay). Fine, he didn't, his loss. However treating you like shit for blood spots which you can't control is not only insensitive and extremely rude, it's also an act of resentment (what'd he do next? Call you a dirty whore?). And if he resents you this way, then why does he want to be with you at all? In fact why would you want to be with a person who resents you at all? The other commenters are right I'm afraid.

[Niceguyscumlast]

Oh my dear it is taking all of my self control not to call this DOUCHE BAG INSENSITIVE FIRST CLASS PRICK TO GO FUCK HIMSELF!.

Your narrative it was all about him, him, him, him, him, him, him, not once did he consider your tender feelings and try to reassure you. What a Narcissist several times you mentioned you were cold and he cared not. This jerk does not deserve you you need to kick his ass and his rug and precious comforter and chairs to the curb.

I cannot imagine how mortified you were and how small he surely must have made you I am so sorry this happened to you. Again you deserve a man that will cherish you not a little boy that cannot appreciate a woman's feeling's and does nothing to try and reassure you and protect you.

I hope this helps.

[DarkEmblem]

He is being a bitch. I have no idea why he would be pissed and disguisted. I mean, what the hell. Whether you have a nose bleed or bleed from anywhere else, blood is blood. And it's stupid to get disguisted and angry over something you can't even do anything about. And isn't blood pretty easy to remove anyway? When there is some blood on clothes, just wash it.. I can't see how he is making a big deal out of this. I wouldn't care if I had to see some blood of my girlfriend, I mean, it happens.

[e_life21]

Girl you can't help it! It's part of life, its how he got on this earth so if he really cannot accept that fact than maybe you'll need to reevaluate your relationship, because he is just being immature!

[miss_dior]

You don't owe this guy anything. If anything he owes you an apology for being so insensitive.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Tell him at least he's not on the hook for child support payments.

[med11]

@yaddayaddayadda02 You sob! I had Gatorade in my mouth when I read that and now look at this place!

[Asker]

That... was hilarious!

[Mesonfielde]

Man that guy is a douchebag, you have sex with him and are in a relation and everything and this is how he treats you as a person? There is no way you can't do better than that. If he was so concerned about it then maybe he should have used washable things rather than be an immature twat about it. What a lack of respect.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

No boyfriend should worry if his girl has period blood on his rug, sheets
if he loves you this should not matter at all i think he is being ridiculous
I'm sorry but you deserve better this is terrible to do any girl what he did
i hope your okay and please don't blame yourself for his ignorant ways

[TadCurious]

You shouldn't have anything more to do with this guy. He's a complete ass. You didn't do anything wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed about simply because you had some spotting. (The only thing maybe you did wrong was get involved with this guy.) What is shameful is that he has tried to shame you about your body's functions. He wants sex but he has no appreciation for the biology of a girl's body.

[carnix]

Could be you both were too "rough"?

or some tear in your vagina.

[Asker]

I've considered it. I'll know either way in a few days.

[Endlesslove4]

You shouldn't be embarrassed for sure... Your boyfriend clearly has issues. I bled all over a man twice and we took a shower and he cleaned me up and the mess. Didn't seem to mind but I was curious what he was thinking. I would hsve to agree w/ everyone else -he should play nice and maybe you should move on !

[Anonymous]

You can say "bye bye" actually and I'm thinking that is the best thing to say.

[Anonymous]

You have nothing to be embarrassed about you wanted your clothes back because you were worried you could get blood somewhere. He wouldn't let you have your clothes and he knew you were bleeding. This is his problem not yours. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry he made you feel ashamed and embarrassed. Your BF is a JACKASS and you should dump him.

[Anonymous]

Apologize genuinely and make him his favorite kind of sandwich. It's pretty traumatizing to see period blood on your sheets as a dude. We don't understand that stuff in the slightest, and don't try to explain it to him either. He probably threw up afterwards. Hell, I'm gagging even reading that.

[Red_Arrow]

She explained about the break through bleeding before hand and even asked for something to lie on. She could not have been clearer about the situation. The guy was an ass for refusing to keep her warm, get something to lie on, and for his bs later. He owes her an apology, not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

If Any Guy Is Angry Over Blood From Your Period On Sheets, Floor Or Whatever, He Is Not The Right Guy For You.
File Him Under A For ASSHOLE!

[Anonymous]

Oh wow, you need to get rid of that asshole. 'Ladylike' who the fuck does he think he is?
He is a piece of shit. Don't feel embarrassed, you have done nothing wrong. Fuck this makes me mad!

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend sounds like an ass. Dump him, and find a guy that isn't going to make you feel like crap for something you can't help. If you do stay with this prick. Next time he wants sex tell him, you can't have sex with him because you don't want to get blood on anything ever again, then give him a go to hell look.

[Asker]

I am so relieved reading through these comments. I thought this wasn't common and that you're supposed to have a firm grasp over never "spilling" and that it doesn't really happen to women. Thank you all. I was initially afraid to ask my friends, but I just found an awesome place to get other perspectives!