Why does my boyfriend take so long to cum?

See, my boyfriend takes a long time to orgasm, and sometimes never does because we both get so tired. Even when I go down on him, he loves it but it... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I have the same deal as your boyfriend, and speaking only for myself all I can say is that it's NOT the girl's fault. My girl sometimes indicates she thinks it is but I reassure her it's not.

    I'm really not sure why it is. Sex feels amazing the entire time, there's no problems getting it up or anything.

    I can tell you a few factors that affect it though.

    Condoms. They're a great idea, but my dick feels numb using them. I like them because they let me f*** "like a jackhammer" for a long time without being overwhelmed by sensation, which I know she enjoys, but at the expense of me only being stimulated just enough to stay hard but not enough to want to cum or even feel really great. If you're using condoms now (and if you are, good for you), and you know your guy is clean, perhaps alternative birth control methods could be used. Failing that, they do make thinner condoms.

    Second is masturbating. When I know I'm going to be with my girl I have to stop myself from jacking off for at least 24 hours beforehand, or longer. It's not because I don't want to but not allowing him to release himself will help build up the pressure to ejaculate. I don't think it's a case of becoming desensitized at all, more likely just the body not responding as strongly sexually at the idea of having sex because he's already ejaculated that day.

    Third, foreplay. Make him do it if he's not. If I go straight into having sex, well I guess I never do, because without sufficient foreplay I won't even get hard enough to have sex. Anyway, lots of touching and teasing really gets me going, so maybe it'll help your boyfriend too.

    Something else that hurts my chances of getting off is feeling pressure to cum. I find it hardest to release myself when I can tell my girl is ready to be done but I'm not. So even though you might just be saying "cum for me" or whatever to try to turn him on, there's a chance it's stressing him out because he's already aware of his ejaculation issues.

    Long story short, some guys just have this "problem". I personally use this to my advantage because it allows me to have sex for hours and I usually give her multiple orgasms, but it has a downside in that I'm so exhausted that sometimes I just give up and don't cum. One time I even puked from exhaustion (not on her, of course). For me this issue is ultimately a good thing: I am king in bed because I can go at it for as long as she needs, even though sometimes it means I don't cum. I'm not personally bothered by not ejaculating, I know that it's a total reversal of typical sex when the girl squirts every time and I only cum sometimes, but at the end of the day I'd rather be this way than cum too soon or not please her. Having her cuddle afterward and tell me how awesome I was is better for me than just getting off. Talk to your guy about this, you might be surprised to learn he's ok with not getting off every time.