Why Is Virginity Important?

Question

First off,i am 16 years old and a virgin.But I've always wondered,why is virginity important.Here's my thought,or opinion,everyone is born a virgin,virginity isn't something to be proud of or ashamed of because it isn't an accomplishment,it's just a natural part of life.Being a virgin doesn't make someone a better person,just as having sex doesn't make someone a better person.And in my personal experience,although I am a virgin,i notice some virgins[not all] have this "holier than thou" mentality,as though they are better than those who have had sex.I don't look down on people who have sex,i say as long as you're educated about safe sex,use protection and understand the consequences,then go right on ahead,of course there are certain circumstances that don't include what I'm saying.I'm not trying to push my views on other people,if that's what it sounds like,nor am I judging others for their sex lives or virginity,as I am one.I understand everyone has different views on sex,virginity and premarital sex,but I'm just wondering,why is virginity so important?

dave216 · Accepted Answer

A good question, well thought out and well written. I hope I can give you a worthy answer.

In my opinion, it is not important. It is merely an individuals choice and that choice should be kept too oneself, not broadcast too the world. You are exactly right about the " "holier than thou" attitude many individuals display. Perhaps it is a way they can feel superior. Many people have self image problems and derive some satisfaction from feeling themselves superior too others.

The origins of this myth are bifurcated by economics and religion. Priests were supposed to remain celibate and if they couldn't have any, they didn't want others to get any either. As they rose through the hierarchy of the church they eventually arrived at the level of making the religious rules and so they ordered no sex unless you are married. Some of the real Zealots went for no sex except for the purpose of trying to get pregnant. Probably the modern day prize winners would be the Shakers. They dictated no sex ever for any reason; which probably explains why the group eventually became extinct .

The other reason is economics. It used to be that finding enough food was the major effort of mankind. We used to devote most of our effort just too producing enough food to survive. When you think about that you can easily understand why parents would be opposed to their daughters bringing home unwanted additional mouths to feed. In order to prevent pregnancy these parents fed their daughters all manner of propaganda with the intent of making them believe sex was a bad thing, that virginity was something to be cherished. They were in fact very successful as the attitude still exists today and modern day parents are still feeding daughters the same propaganda without even knowing why they are doing it. You see they are just parroting parental techniques they were exposed too as children.

This will also give you an understanding of why it is that female virginity is such a treasure, but no significance is attached to male virginity. You see the sons never come home pregnant so no brain washing of the males was needed. In fact male promiscuity is sometimes applauded, the "stud".

There are significant benefits too being a virgin and also significant drawbacks, just as there are both with benefits and drawbacks to being sexually active. In the end, sex should be delayed until the participant is able to deal with the ramifications in a responsible manner. One needs to be well informed on birth control, disease prevention, be emotionally stable and be able to financially and emotionally deal with the results.

happa808 · Accepted Answer

There's the rift between people who think casual sex is okay and the people who think that sex is something that's special and not to be taken lightly. Those two differing opinions mean that there's gonna be a lot of conflict. The casual sex side has stated what they think pretty well, but for the other side (I have mixed feeling on the issue) they see sex as something more than primal nature. They sort of see someone who just gave it up to any him/her out of curiosity or to get sex off their to do list as someone who just threw away something you only get to experience once, and think that the first time should be remembered fondly, not as something you did with someone you didn't really think was special. I myself, think the first time should be special, but by special, I mean you should feel strongly for the other person, but you don't have to want to marry them, but definitely feel more than just physical attraction. Of course sex is a big thing, but it's really primal too, and perfectly natural for people to want it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I totally, 100 % agree!

If everyone was as half as intelligent as you are... pointing figures particularly towards men, the world really and truly would be a better place. No honor killings and no circumcision, I don't know if you know about female circumcision but it's plain awful. Not to make light of male circumcision.

Also less needless disrespect of women who enjoy sex.

These holier than thou women have be brainwashed by Daddy, who is a man. And I'll tell you one thing, I don't understand why any man would want their daughter to marry a man she's never spent time in a long relationship with, and even lived together, before she decides she wants to marry and have kids with this guy. It's crazy and so immature, it's why divorce is so high, people just getting married willy nilly having kids and then finding out they are totally incompatible with each other, and learn to hate each other.

And who suffers, the kids!

Sex life is a massive thing that people need to be compatible in for a really long relationship to work and both parties to be happy. A person with a high sex drive, isn't going to be too happy with someone that prefers a cuddle in front of the movie screen. And vice versa, the cudder will start to feel used when she seems to be constantly demanded of sex.

All these things are important, but sadly men love feeling as though their the only person to have had their women.

And they dislike women that have regular sex with different partners, this being a mans world still, that is how society is. But it is getting better, if the human race survives another 500 years we may see a difference.

Jessiipop · Accepted Answer

I'm only 14, but I've talked to guys that's older than me, not more than 2 years, but it seems that as soon as we start really gettin to know each other, they ask if we could have sex or anything. I'm a virgin, actually I've never even kissed anyone but I think it's degrading for someone to just have sex with a perso they've been with for only 2 months or something.  I think virginity is important to an extent. What a person does with their body is their business, but in society today everyone is going to judge you, and everyone will criticize. If you've been with a person for over a year, and your ready to take that step, by all means do it. But you have to realize, no one else will have you like he will. It also depends on your age. I don't know a 16 year old that's a virgin, but I know a 14 year old that has had sex. At my school, there has been 2 girls get pregnant their eighth grade years, and another that is 17 and is pregnant with her second child- a drop out. Basically I have no idea what I'm getting at but, Virginity is important to a point, and it vary depending on the person.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Whats important is to have sex when you're ready. I don't like this "wait til you're married" stuff because that's just not realistic. You're only 16 so you're right to wait til you're around 18. If a girl loses her virginity too young, she does regret it years later. I know someone who first had sex at 14 and is a bit embarrassed about that now. Make sure you're with a boyfriend the first time you have and not just a booty call. That's all I'll say. Sex before marriage is fine but don't just sleep with anyone. This "gift" idea of virginity is a bit too corny for my liking but at the same time, your body is scared (in general) and you shouldnt just offer it to any guy. Have your standards. I don't think virginity is a "gift"-you have it, then you dont. Its not like a talent or something. Just have self-respect, standards and practice safe sex! You don't want to be getting pregnant or catching a nasty STI! Sex is better when you really like the guy anyway. You feel much more comfortable and at ease if you can trust the guy.

DrJones · Answer

>Here's my thought,or opinion,everyone is born a virgin,virginity isn't something to be proud of or ashamed of because it isn't an accomplishment,it's just a natural part of life.

I think this is one of the smartest things I've read on here. 5 stars!

Feelinfrisky · Answer

I would say virginity is important because becoming sexually active changes you emotionally, and needs to be carefully considered before that change is made,  In other words, make sure your ready, because you can't take it back.  Age and maturity need to be considered, but in final analysis you make your own choice.  Your very smart btw.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

it's important because in a way it is influenced by male preference

if a guy truly loved a girl, he'll take her even if she isn't a virgin because what matters is inside, not the physical characteristics of a person..through age, your appearance and other physical aspects deteriorate.

in terms of some religions, cultures, they value virginity

but it seems shallow to soley base mate selection on just whether or not a person is virgin or not

and if you're concerned, make sure you don't give it to some random guy if you hold it as something valuable to you

it is what you remember for the rest of your life.

cd112 · Answer

I actually agree with you completely, it doesn't make sense to me either other than I know there is something to do with religion about waiting till your married but I don't know 100% what it is.

l-hedoniste · Answer

You're absolutely right. Too bad more don't turn out like you.

Cerigo · Answer

I was wondering the same thing.

jennifer0123 · Answer

I am the exact same way.  I am 16 years old and I am a virgin, too.  A lot of my friends aren't virgins and I don't look down on them--but I also don't see myself better than them.  Virginity is important in a way because it is the one thing you can never get back.  Guaranteed there are so many people who aren't virgins that are out there that deeply regret it.  Guys find it attractive when girls are virgins because they simply are viewed more intelligent and won't give it up to just anyone.  I see what you are saying, though!

JohnRJ · Answer

Its not that there is some sort of mystical thing about virginity, it only that you give it up when you are ready to do so.  You are a minor, I'd say leave this until later when your older.  Sexuality is a powerful thing, both emotionally and physically.  Hold out to when you have the right person and when your ready.  Do this with the wrong person and things easily get spoiled.

LittlePrincess94 · Answer

Because stays in your memory.

Imagine a nice guy get's married with a girl he loves, and then other guy comes alone in a party, he is probably drunk and tell the guy in public or not: Haha look at you, you are banging what is left, I'm the one that made her a women, my dick was the first one she felt, I was the one that made her bleed and cry of joy, and she will always remember it. Then the nice guy looks at her and she is remembering how good it was, and sometimes when she does it with him, she remembers how it felt with the other guy, etc. So it can get very painful.

In the other hand that's also the way we evolved, we were suppose to protect our girls so they don't get spoiled with other dude's sperm and our genes disappear. So is biology and psychology together.

gymnastdontneedballs · Answer

i think its important because in my opinion sex is something to save for marriage. I see no point in giving up the most sacred part of you to someone unless you know your going to spend the rest of your life with them. and don't you want to be the first and only person your spouse has sex with?

And I completely agree with how some virgins think there better, but its not our place to judge them on their choices, its something they gave up so why should we care its a choice they made, not something that effects us.

thelollipopmafia · Answer

For me, virginity is a gift that you can only give once. It's the gift of yourself. And I want to share that with the man who loves me enough to commit to spending his whole life with wacky old me.

katrinasanchez · Answer

Virginity is not important at all to me either.  It's nothing to be proud of because like you said, we're all  born with it.  You have very similiar views that I do :)

stevo · Answer

It's important because, in the long-run, it will be well worth the wait when the right person comes along.

LiteraryBeauty · Answer

I think sex is an important part in relationships. It's the way you can be the most physically intimate with the person you care about. I don't think its something that should be taken lighthearted though. It's not just your virginity that's important is the act of sex itself. I think sex itself is something so amazing when done with the right person. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen but I did it with one of my closest friends and we are still friends. Then I had a boyfriend for three years. I don't regret my decisions. Things have worked for me. As long as you conduct yourself in a respectful manner how can anyone think less of you, whether you have had sex or not.

emzy-89 · Answer

your virginity is something that you only have of to give. I'm Catholic so the religious aspect comes into it for me. but aside from that I don't want to just give mine away to just anyone. to me sex should be a sign  of love and there's not greater love than someone saying that they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. these reasons combined is why I'm saving myself for marriage..

jacquesvol · Answer

Well said!

"wondering,why is virginity so important?"

A belief stemming from history when

-childbirth could cause death

-even a minor ilness could cause death.

It also was a question of money:

-it was important to keep the family fortune in the family through arranged marriages. To expand the family fortune through marriage.

-for lots of girls it was the only "quality" they could offer since education and schooling for girls were nearly non-existent.

A girl had to be worth the dowry and lots of girls couldn't offer much. Non virgins brought a smaller dowry.

Who thinks about a dowry in 2010?

jacquesvol · Answer

Virginity is one of those things someone can boast about without having to do any physical or mental effort to get it: "merit" free for all.

Of course, getting a degree is more difficult.

Basically, virginity is just a word to describe the period in ones' life before he/she had intercourse or the first time. Nothing more.

jessicaerin_5 · Answer

well I'm 16 and a virgin and my boyfriend, who's 19, is also a virgin, and it makes me feel safe that he hasn't had sex before and that if we do end up having sex I'll be the only person that he's ever been with and he can't compare me to someone else. and I also know that he doesn't have any diseases or anything.

VabAmy · Answer

I don't know, I think society just kind of places labels on people if they've had sex or not - def not as big a deal I think. Either way def no plans to lose mine. Maybe its more of a personal value I don't know

Felwa · Answer

Good question, you ask why virginity is important, I'll tell you it's because it's something really special and precious to the girl, something that can't be given to anyone, it's a something many people will respect you for even if they didn't share your same point of view, do you think people will respect a girl that sleeps with every person she meets? Even if she only do it with her boyfriend, is your self really that cheap to give to anyone just because you date them regardless if they're worth it or not, to me, virginity is a huge deal and if my boyfriend didn't understand that then he's dumped, just like that.

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