Do you expect your boyfriend to initiate sex?

[man_from_d]

This question is for girls, do you expect your boyfriend to initiate sex or do you go for it? I noticed that my long term girlfriend never did, so I stopped 8 weeks ago and she hasn't once tried to have sex. I can tell it is frustrating her but she hasn't said anything to me, whilst it's so hard to not try to have sex I'm going to ride it out until she brings it up. I hate that I'm doing that, but I feel like it's a one way thing and will refuse to give in until she sees there is a problem, and if she doesn't then I don't know what I will do.

[LastGirlScout]

I'm not generally an initiator. I've had most of my partners mention this too as well. It's very unusual for me to say no though so I don't ever see it as a problem because it just means that he has sex whenever he wants, I want it most of the time so it's all good. What I hate is going to initiate sex and the other party saying no, maybe this is why your girlfriend doesn't do it - she's scared of being rejected (yes, it still hurts even when you're in a relationship!) or doesn't want to force you into it if you aren't in the mood. Talk to her about it, don't play silly childish games it won't help the situation, I think you've proved your point now.

[MaskedSanity]

8 weeks?

My loins would be burning, lol. I think I lasted about five day until I couldn't take it anymore and had my way with my man.
We were working different hours and he was tired every night and just went straight to bed. So I woke him up in the middle of the night by touching and kissing all over. He did not protest, haha.

You girl sounds like she's bored of sex or maybe not that onto it in the first place. You wouldn't believe how many women have sex just to keep their man happy, but not enjoy it themselves.

Does your girl orgasm or does she fake it? If she was orgasming properly, she'd be a lot more keen to get it on.

[man_from_d]

She orgasms so fast, she only needs a couple of minutes.

[MaskedSanity]

Are you sure she's not faking it to just get it over with?

[SammyGurl]

No, I initiate lots of times. I love to straddle his lap and start making out, he gets the idea pretty quick! We've missed a few movies and sporting events on TV, having sex is much more fun than watching. We sorta forgot to go to dinner with some friends a month ago, it was so worth it though! (He made me call and explain, I told my friend the truth she just laughed!!)

[Mesonfielde]

She apparently just seems to have a shitty sex drive. It seems to be fairly common, because a whole bunch of females see it as a "chore" rather than as an opportunity to be affectionate.

I think they are broken.

[kaylaS91]

Nope, we sort of rotate. More than once if I'm feeling 'hot & bothered' I'll just put my hands in his boxers and get things started. Initiation with us seems to be pretty half and half, though then again we both know it's a given that almost every time we hang out we're going to mess around so...

[DiddyDan]

I initiate it !! haha maybe she is shy? just speak to her about it :)

[Overvalerie]

How did this work out? You cracked open the rohypnol yet?

[man_from_d]

She has yet to even put her hands on me, and her attitude just gets worse by the day.

[Overvalerie]

That sounds awful. I'll be brutal because I'm not in the situation, unless you are a total a-hole/she is unwell in some way/you have not already tried to speak with her about this; ditch her. You didn't ask for my opinion, I know, but no sex/physical contact is not cool. Kudos to you for not cheating, I don't suggest this is an avenue to help the situation.

[man_from_d]

To be honest I don't think I could be any better of a boyfriend, I always go out of my way to go above and beyond. It might sound stupid, but one of the reasons why I think she is like this is because she can get away with whatever she wants with me.

[Overvalerie]

Doesn't sound stupid, you could have a point there. I just don't think you should be so accepting if there is not another, more serious, underlying issue.

[Izzy2102]

I def want him to bring it up first. From there on, I do sometimes but he does most of the times and I like it that way.
A lot of girls are just scared to ask

[irishelen]

No I do not expect my boyfriend to initiate sex. It's a balance.. She might actually be shy about it, and doesn't know how to bring it up. I guess. Just tell her straight out, trust me. This will solve the situation, cause I am sure your both pretty frustrated about this.

[MaskofInsanity]

Lol. No. I'm happy to throw him down or slide my hand down his pants.

[man_from_d]

She would never do that, maybe like 5 years ago but not anymore. The other thing is for some reason with her the only she will have sex is very late at night just before we go to sleep. She will never have morning sex, and anything during the night. Even if I tried to have sex as soon as we got into bed yes telling me to calm down, she will go on Facebook or something for half an hour or so then she may be interested only if specific criteria are met (she has showered, shaved down there, hasn't had a stressful day, I've done nothing to piss her off and she hasn't to get up early the next day). It's completed killed sex for me this behaviour.

[MaskofInsanity]

Have you asked why?

[man_from_d]

Yes lots of times but she gets mad when I bring it up like I'm sex obsessed or something.

[Mesonfielde]

And then she would wonder why you started cheating on her and why "things aren't the same". Ugh.

[Mesonfielde]

Well, I know you probably wouldn't cheat. This is a fairly hypothetical statement. Most people who start cheating have issues like this prior.

[MaskofInsanity]

You know, you just need to be straight with her. Start by saying you're not sex obsessed and you want her to take you seriously. Sex is a real, important part of a relationship. Its intimate and an expression of love. Say you're so attracted to her, and want (need) sex more often. Ask what she'd like to change, or any fantasies she has. If she doesn't communicate and disregards your feelings, you need to realize that it will probably only get worse. Then you need to figure out if you want to deal with that or end the relationship.

[Drooogie4]

Talk to her about it. That's the best way to be less frustrated.
I definitely don't mind. We both initiate it. Pretty much anytime we start anything And are alone,, it goes there though haha.

[Seriousness]

no and i don't have a problem initiating and i also have no problem talking about it. my bf used to joke he would tell my parents and my friends what i've been doing and i just tell him no one would ever believe him with my evil laugh. maybe your gf is just too shy to initiate. :)

[Kris85]

No I don't expect it all the time, I am quite capable of initiating it myself and I have many times, but it is nice if both parties are willing to initiate, as it shows that they care and want to be intimate with each other.

[COCOCHANEL]

i never think about this. cuddling usually leads to it. i expect boys to initiate kissing though.

[Anonymous]

No I don't expect it. I most certainly don't have an issue starting something I CAN finish either. It's apart of the relationship which means it takes two to tango. Both people should want to initiate it.