Sexual Health
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We had sex and now he won't text me back?

I have been texting this guy an he's a older then me for over a year we have been talking about having sex for a long time now. I was a virgin and finally we had sex he wasn't a virgin. I liked it and I thought he did too because after he even texted me saying we should have sex again. But now its been 5 days since we had sex and he won't text me back. He last texted me the morning after having sex but hasn't since. I really like him and I just don't know what I did to make him not even talk to me anymore. I'm really upset !
Updates:
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The thing is that he is best friends with my older brother so he's always over our house. No one knows that we ever text let alone have sex.
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I know he prob did use me but why would he say lets have sex again the next morning if he didn't want too? Can some guys answer this question.
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So after I posted this question he did text me and we talked a little bit but after about 4 days of texting he stopped and then I found out he changed his number. But he hasn't told me he changed his number so I haven't talked to him. I guess we won't
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Two concerns come to mind- 1) a wiser older guy took advantage of a naive younger girl and 2) bad decision making.

    Both you and this guy were irresponsible and made bad decisions. From his perspective, a young untouched girl wanted him. He felt desirable. Also, the fact that he is your brother's friend made you an even bigger temptation. From your perspective, you were sexually curious--what better way to relieve your curiosity than with someone you know?--your brother's friend. This is a somewhat normal for this type of encounter to happen, but unfortunately, no good ever comes out of it.

    Too many boundaries were crossed. I am sure your brother would kill him if he knew.

    I think he regrets on some level having has sex with you, esp. being your first. Perhaps, his guilt makes him ignore you or he realizes he's old enough and you young enough for this to be statutory rape? Regardless, he does not care to establish a relationship with you. I don't think you should any way. But, either way, his penis drove him to send another hook up text. Who would turn up free sex? and from someone as gullible as you?

    You have a crush on him. Let it go and move on. Stop texting him. Stop sleeping with him. I hope you are smart enough to use protection-like 3 at once, because god forbid you get pregnant, he will not be around. Your brother will lose a friend. Then again, what a friend! Gain control over this matter, for right now you have none. You are a pawn in his hand.

    Sex is a beautiful thing--but only when shared with an honest, like minded, equally respectful and giving partner.

  • Hey girl... I know what you mean. I've been in this kind of mess before... I see your not dating this guy, (same situation with me.) Here's my story... My guy was my best friends ex he's a senior, and when they broke up they never did anything had sex or even kissed. Anyway, He and I became best friends. Texted each other everyday. He and I are both virgins. We talked about sex, and everything I started to like him. He realized I liked him, the only way he'd like me back is if I weren't black, (he's white) Then it turned out we had sex, and we shared our first kisses together and first s well everything. So finally, this month was our last time ever doing it. He started liking a girl. He told me he didn't want to do it anymore. So I said..oh...okay.. we haven't since then either.

    We had sex 10 times. But he and I still talk and flirt... but no feelings attached.

    So what I'm trying to say to you was... it was just a booty call..just to get some. I'm sorry but that's the way it is.. I found out the hard way. Since you lost your virginity with him there's no way that there is feelings attached for you. He's just using you for sex.

  • You let your virginity slip away to someone who doesn't care about how you feel in it all, he just got an extra point on his score card, you know, he hit the 'i took a younger girls virginity'.

    you should have guessed from the moment he even mentioned sex that he wanted that.

    I bet he never spoke about 'relationships' or any 'feelings' towards you. Did you have general conversations that were not based around sex?

    Probably not.

    Dont bother texting him anymore, if you do feel the need to text him say, 'thanks for introducing me to sex, it was very nice of you to use me like that but you just opened my eyes to how varied mens performance can be. I decided to try somebody new who showed me how dull and boring sex with you was. On your next victim maybe you should try give them an orgasm to remember you jerk. Don't bother contacting me in the near future :) '

    And next time, be a bit more careful about who you have sex with, half of them don't care about you, all they want is your vagina.

Most Helpful Guys

  • ha people are talking about this guys actions as rape, but in britain the age is 16. that don't reflect on the question but its funny the differences between places. chances are he's probable tripping on the age gap, but look at it this way. he was your first and you enjoyed it. really - that's more than a lot of people can say. from your sides id say its best to put it down to experience [not a bad one just a first learning one] see the good in it and move on. hell probably be back in touch one way or another but spend a couple of years around your own age group. and know that pretty soon all the little rights that take so long to aquire growing up will be mundane and old news to you. it really is worth enjoying the end of your kidulthood cos when its gone...

  • He got what he wanted, you was used.

    Stop rushing to lose your virginity girls (and even guys) because more and more it seems these special first times are sounding like one night stand trophy sex for those that take virginities.

    Sorry to break it to you, move on and what happened happened, your as much to blame for not knowing the guy properly (don't deny it otherwise you would have known he would do this).

    Take better care, you should have saved yourself and whatever you do, DON'T deny it happened, I have know girls who claim to be a virgin because their first time wasn't good enough, to me that's a twisted trick and will only bite you in the ass in the end.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think you'd be better off without him...he only would have continued to lose him if you let him

  • I am so sorry that you lost your virginity to such an idiot. He was a game playa kid. You were a conquest darling. Nothing more. He backed off thereafter because he didn't want you to become clingy nor get the impression the two of you had a future together. He wanted to lay a virgin... and now he is feeling guilty as hell about it.

    When it's your first time there is always a sense of expectation. I know for me it was. He changed his number because he doesn't want you to call him anymore... and he is cutting ties completely with you.

    I am so very sorry hun. Men like this are a waste of flesh.

  • he used you sweety. he knows you won't talk about because no one knows about it so it doesn't bother him. if he didn't even bother to call text or say he's interested in you in any way...he just wanted your virginity he took it and that's it. even worst he said lets have sex again ...um wrong wtf

  • Sorry to say but he used you for sex...stop texting him it makes you look desperate and needy..let a few days go by and if he still hasn't called its time to move on...you have to be careful of older guys most of them talk to younger girls because they think its easier to get sex with them..Hope this helps!

    • Thanks I'm trying its just hard because I have to see him all the time. Its sad.

    • Yes he did, and she used him for sex at the same time. So what? If she was engaging in sex for other purposes, she was being stupid, dishonest, or both.

  • Used, he might have had some "feelings" but then realized what an awkward thing it was that he just did, he maybe just wants to forget it, with your bro being his friend and all. He probably knows he hurt you which he certainly must not feel great about. but being horny is like being thirsty we will do anything for a drink, but then we realize we just drank out of the toilet. Not saying your a toilet, I just mean wrong place.

    You are probably a wonderful girl, and you just learned from an experience, now as you move on you will be more weary of "nice" guys. Take it easy and enjoy yourself, but most importantly respect yourself. Guys really look for that when thinking "relationship". When thinking "booty" they look for low self esteem and needy.

  • Sorry to say it but he used you. You should be more careful next time.

  • Won't text you back. Amazing.

    Sorry, In my day it was "... and now he won't talk to me." and 20 years ago it was "... and now he won't call me."

    I just marvel at the way our lives evolve around technology.

    As to your question... you should be upset. The only thing you did was put your trust in the wrong person. However, at your age the BOYS are not very trustworthy as a whole anyway. Too much Me Me Me at that age and that's what you encountered. I am sorry.

  • girls have sex to get love

    guys love so they can get sex

    he used you

  • you been played

  • He pretty much just did a hit and run. Sorry.

    • He said, "Lets have sex again" as an incentive to make you feel better about having sex with him. Also because he thought it would soften you up to having sex again soon.

    • Yea but the thing is I want to have sex again I want too but he won't text me back I just don't no what to do

    • Why would you want to have sex again when he used you? Are you willing to give it up that easily a second time?

    • Show All

  • I hate it when girls want to lose their virginity to some random f*** head just so they can get what they want and then he leaves.

    This girl in my class all she talks about is how much she wants to lose it to some random guy.

    That is so stupid, When I see a girl whos a virgin and is waiting for the right guy that's attractive it means she values herself. you on the other hand dont. you lost it to some player. learn from your mistakes and move on.

    • Lol agreed! I'm waiting for the right guy not jus some random guys that will f*** me

  • He saw your v card as a trophy...and he got the gold medal for doing some work. You got played.

  • Honey, leave him be. Chalk it up as a fun adventure. Not every encounter is meant to be a serious relationship. Being a virgin was a big deal to you, to him its a big thing to brag about "bagging" a virgin. Sweetie play casual with him. Like he is no big deal. He is first of all...scared sh*tless your brother will find out. Cause that will cause major drama. But then again that was the excitement to just have sex with you. You are not going to make him want you , no matter how pretty or how perfect you are! You kind of used each other, take that attitude. And for Gods sake don't text him. He knows where you are if he wants you nothing will keep him away.

  • So here's my number if you would like to text? I'm kidding dear.. This guy stole your virginity and you let it happen because C*** is sometimes evil. I hope you understand this now.

  • He's just not that into you...move on...like he did.

  • Because, quite frankly, he got what he wanted. He just wanted sex and you caved in. He doesn't want to have sex with you multiple times since that would just mean that he wants a relationship with you, when really he doesn't. Don't make the same mistake twice.

  • Sweetheart, the guy is not worth your time. Any guy truly interested in YOU would not text you asking to "have sex again" he would say "let me take you out to dinner" Guys have a mentality to pray and conquer. Its in their instincts just like its in ours to become emotionally attached. This is the number one problem that affects any sort of intersection between a guy and a girl. I am eighteen and I'm guessing your not much younger than me, I learnt the hard way so please don't make the same mistakes and only pay attention to the ones that fight for YOU not the passport to your pants. And I hope you will stay happy :)

  • same sh*t happened to me. MOVE ON

    • I know but its just so hard

  • Close your legs, you got used bad.. Don't ever just give it up !

    It takes months of a close relationship before you should ever think about it again.

    If he likes you he will wait.

  • Next time you talk to him, you should bring that up and say, "Well why didn't you tell me your new number?"

    I do have to agree with the people here that he used you. As long as your content with having mutual sex then that's fine. If not, being used and you loving him is a whole different story. If you love someone, you have sex with them exclusively being in a relationship, otherwise he can drop you like that and never talk to you again. That's how those types of guys always are.

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