Why do guys like to choke girls during sex?

OK I have been talking to this guy for a few months and we just had sex for the first time and he choked me and pulled my hair even doe I never had a guy pull my hair that was ok but when he choked me I was in shock why do guys like to choke girls during sex...

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

Most Helpful Opinion

  • Wow.Um, you need to explain that choking is a NO.Guys don't always choke chicks during sex, if you enjoy this (it's possible, but I'm assuming not), it's called Erotic Asphyxiation, some people are into it, and others aren't.You need to lay down the boundaries. If you don't feel safe or comfortable, then you need to stop having sex with this guy because what he's doing is abuse if you say "stop" and he doesn't.If a man refuses to respect your boundaries, he can hump his hand instead and choke himself.

    • 3mo

      It is a definite NO and especially the first time you and the guy have sex. I seriously question the mental health of people whom are into this behavior.
      About your advice for him to "hump his hand" - spot on & LOL. Let him choke his chicken instead of you.

What Guys Said 12

  • 3mo

    Either he's used to girls who are twisted and like it
    and/or
    he's a bit twisted himself and likes it.

  • Not every guy is like that. Maybe a little hair pulling and some rough play, but literally chocking? I don't know.

  • Guy's don't do that as a rule, there's no actual natural pleasure to be gained from an act like that on the guy's side. Unnatural, though, is another story. Some girls like being choked during sex, the loss of control and the lack of oxygen can bring some women more excitement, and it's possible the guy you were with was with someone like this and developed a fixation on the act, but if YOU don't like you you best let him know or he's going to keep doing it.

    • Well said

    • I love being choked during sex, and yes it is for the reasons you have said and it makes the orgasm more intense.I also love choking. I introduced my ex to it, then he always wanted me to do it to him! so its not just men.

  • Yeah...that can be dangerous...there are a lot of small bones in your neck...and if he likes to do that now, it may escalate eventually, as he may actually be testing how receptive you are to it before going further. Choking in and of itself is an intensely dominant behavior.

  • Most don't! But sometimes you'll find one who does I guess. They're either into some weird fetishs or they think that by stemming your oxygen flow it makes the sex more intense for you, (google it if you're interested). But 9 outa 10 guys probably aren't into this.

  • Uhmm, maybe because he's a freak? I'm into martial arts, and I choke people almost daily in training, but choking a girl during sex? That's one messed up fetish. Be careful with guys like that, they can easily turn into wife beaters! :((

    • 3mo

      I agree 100%!! There are professionals in the field of psychology who would also agree - but take it a step further - these guys not only have the potential to become wife beaters or abusers but killers. :( :( I recently had the displeasure of (briefly) dating such a guy. Like the Iron Maiden song says, "run to the hills!!"

  • I don't think "guys" like to do it, unique trait for that one guy and there is possibly others who like it as well. The reason, same reason some girls (or guys) like being choked during sex - it gets them off.

  • Real men don't hurt their lovers. This guy sounds sick. Fun is fun, but not when it hurts. Did you choke him and pull his hair, too? Drop this sorry sicko ASAP, imho.

    • It isn't about hurting anyone ... it is about full dominance of a person during intercourse. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this if both parties are in agreement. Many many many women can only have orgasms if a man has complete control over them during sex.

  • tell him to stop.. if he doesn't knee him to the balls. its a pig of an act to choke a girl. and that's just stupid. I'm all god for the rough sex but seriously choking and anything that could hurt my girl I would never do!

  • Some guys get a heightened sense of excitement and gratification during sex when they cause the girl some form of pain or discomfort. They can do this in several ways, but choking is one of the worst and most dangerous.Guys who are like this have no respect for the humanity of the woman they're doing it to, or women in general, usually tend to think of them in terms of objects, and don't even consider what it's like or that they can feel pain, they're too rapped up in the twisted pleasure it brings them.Stay away from him.

    • You sanctimonious douchebags. Men and women have enjoyed this kind of play for thousands of years... it is a classic "dominant - submissive" scenario . It does not mean anyone is being abused and it does not mean anyone is sick or twisted for enjoying it.

    • Waxedpants - Unless it is fully consenting for BOTH, it is a form of abuse. It's not something you just do at random to a partner during sex, a few screws are surly loose. Re-read the details in the OP. It was clear she didn't ask for it, and was taken by surprise.

    • 3mo

      Damn straight!!

  • Was it a really hard choke? If not, it could be something that turns him on and he doesn't know it's not acceptable. If it was a hard choke, you should probably let him know you're not comfortable with that. Heck, even if it wasn't and you're uncomfortable, let him know. If it's the control factor, try deepthroating, that way he can get off on you choking on his penis a little instead of actually choking you for real.

    • Oh yeah, great, instead of wrapping his hands around her neck, he can just jam things down her throat. If it's the control that he wants, he's probably not exactly going to let her go at her own pace.

    • I don't think that a real man would.

    • Beta-Males all of you ----

  • its a dominance thing

What Girls Said 12

  • It's about having control over you.

  • 3mo

    I think you should ask him... But personally I think there's something wrong with people who wanna hurt one another during making love... It may be something psychological

  • 51d

    i once dated a guy, the sex was great. i enjoy hair pulling during sex, but not choking. i told him i dont like it, at first he said ill just put up with it, i told him im not gonna have sex with him if he do
    that again.. i think, they want that because they want to be dominant and in control. i dont mind being dom or sub. ... the relationship didn't last long, well were sexually compatible but. its not that kind of relationship that i want, i wanted hot sex with real love. so i had to leave.

  • If you have a developed relationship and have established true, not just "don't kiss and tell tust" but "life or death trust" and you've discussed this type of play and both sides consent, it's okay to do and enjoy such things. It is a matter of dominance and submission. It's seeking sexual control (on the dominant end) and freedom on the submissive end. No one should ever do it without the others consent. If it were done to me without my consent, I would think it could be leading to a murder and I would have to kill him before he killed me. Even though my husband and I do get in to s&m pretty deep; it's something that I requested and we discusse, put down boundaries and limits... If it were done to me, without discussion or consent, I'd fear for my life at that moment. He should not do it if you don't consent to it.

  • I like it and I'm a girl. It heightens every sense and its easy to tap when you need him to back off. It makes an orgasm stronger and better. A guy I used to date did this and it was so awesome. best sex ever

  • I love it it makes orgasm stronger, that's just me I guess

    • Not just you -- I have had 4 girls ask me to choke them over a period of 15 years and a good time was had by all. Have fun and don't listen to the Beta-Males ---- you know what you like.

  • I don't think they do. This guy you've been talking to is sick in the head and you failed to learn that during the past few months.

  • I dated a guy the liked to choke. The first time I totally freaked out. I told him I wasn't into it and he said ok, and that he wouldn't do it. He lied, he did it again the next time we had sex he got a knee to the balls and I left, never looked back. tell him, you aren't into it, but think about other dominance situations you might be ok with. good sex is about exploring fantasies, but don't ever do anything you aren't comfortable with

  • He has a kink, there's nothing "twisted" about it some of us are just born with kinks. Anyways not all guys like choking women during sex, and if you don't like it he has no right to do it. Yeah though beleive it or not some girls like to be choked during sex, there are 2 two types of kinks, natural ones people have and ones you get through doing perverse things such as watching sick p*rn and such. Natural kinks are like bondage games or loving huge t*ts, the sick ones some people aquire a taste for are things like taking a dump on each other or worse.I wouldn't be so quick to judge the opposite sex for their kinks, I've heard some girls have things for squids, which is probably where tentacle p*rn comes from, that stuff seems totally crazy and does nothing for me but maybe not so for girls? Who knows. As long as the kink isn't too sick, ie so long as it's a natural kink and doesn't bother you you should try to accomidate him.

  • That is sick, get away from this guy...This is not normal, you know the BTK killer done that also to a prostitute he had sex with. Something to think about..

    • Judgemental ? Keep your prudishness to yourself -- we all get off in different ways. As long is it is consensual there is nothing wrong with it at all. Stop making these people feel like they are f'd up cause you don't understand their proclivities.

  • U serious? He chokes u. I've heard of hair pulling but that's way out of line. No real man chokes a girl. You should be glad he hasn't hurt you more yet and truthfully leave this guy he does not sound good.

    • If the dude is doing this after knowing you are not into it than obviously there is a problem

  • That's kind of creepy. I've never been choked but I have had a guy grab my neck and tell me what to do, in a very dominant manner.

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