What Are The Pros And Cons of Waiting Until Marriage And Premarital Sex?

[peace-love-couture]

What Are the Pros And Cons Of Saving Sex For Marriage? What Are The Pros And Cons Of Pre-Marital Sex? I Understand Sex Is A Personal And Individual Choice,But I'm 16 and when I Listened to Adults and Was Religious my Opinion was "Pre-Marital Sex Is Bad,I'm Waiting For Marriage" Now I'm Agnostic and I Like To Think For Myself A Bit,but I'm Just A Little Confused On What My Opinion Is and What I Want to Do.Although,I Am A Virgin and I Haven't been In A Relationship,heck I've never even been kissed lol.But What Are The Pros And Cons Of Both?Or Which Do You Think Is Best And Why?

[Anonymous]

Ok so this is a really important thing because way to many people are going out and having sex 'just to see what its like' and it shouldn't be like that. I had sex when I was 16 for the first time but the thing is that I had been dating that guy since I was 12 and am really in love with him...He is also now my husband. We lost it to each other and we both know that now were married we will never be with anyone eles and I think that that sense of security your first time is so important. If you feel rushed or even have the slightest feeling not to or even hesitate just don't do it because guys will really appreciate a virgin when they get to late teens/early twenties. My best friend saved herself for marriage and said it was the best thing she could have done because it was like magic on the wedding night from the closeness they felt to eachother, rather than just another guy to have sex with... my other friend has had many different sexual partners in her life and is now married she said that by having sex before marrige she had the oppotunity to try lots of things but that she didn't feel the closness to her husband on her wedding night that my other friend felt. untimently the choice is yours but it is yours so so don't just let it go because having something of that power can give you a kick ass attitude if your let it...and lots of power over guys ;D

[peace-love-couture]

Well,i hope I'm not asking tmi,or being disrespectful,but even though you married your now husband,did you regret having sex with him?Did you wish you had waited longer?Or did it just feel right and even till this day it still feels right?

[Anonymous]

I never regretted it, even at the time I felt the most amazing connection with him and its not disrespectful at all its actually nice to see someone who cares. All I can say is that I loved him, like really loved him and we both knew it. Deep down we both knew that we would get married because there was no one in the world except us as far as we were concerned. There still wouldn't be but I'm pregnant so...lol. I also got married at 18 only two years after we started having sex so it wasn't that long and we had been best friend since we were 6. I just think that you really have to know, deep down that you love this person and don't let infatuation or desperation cloud your judgment, you actually need to stop yourself and if you can then its not the right person, if they stop you and ask two, three, four times then maybe you've got a better chance.

[l-hedoniste]

First, a note on language. Sex is anything you do with sex in mind. So if you're blowjobbing, handjobbing, eating out, getting eaten out, masturbating, humping, feeling up, or getting felt up, you're not saving sex for marriage. You are, at best, saving *certain kinds* of sex for marriage.

What's best? I favor a staggered approach to sex, with some things I'll do with casual, new partners, and others I do only with long-term, committed, trustworthy partners.

Pros of premarital sex:

It's a lot of fun.

It's preferred in most relationships.

Being a good lover builds confidence and self-image.

You make the occasional good friend.

Most good sex skills--empathy, humor, communication, patience, tolerance--are handy in human relationships generally.

Cons of premarital sex:

Pregnancy risk (unprotected penile-vaginal intercourse ONLY)

Violates most religious traditions.

Against the law in certain less-progressive jurisdictions.

Can become inconveniently intimate, and difficult to disentangle emotionally.

Hope this helps.

[MrWizard]

Religion aside, I think there are some good benefits to waiting. You both start something new with no baggage so you won't be thinking about how you measure up to past partners. Sex is something you both learn and grow in together.

No breakup is easy, but there are strong emotional bonds developed through sex that don't will make breakups that much more painful.

A buddy of mine in college related an experience hooking up with a girl at a party for his first time. He left disappointed because it wasn't anything special, no emotions, just physical. Left him with the impression that sex was overrated. Having waited myself, sex with my spouse is as fulfilling as I could have imagined and I feel sorry for my friend.

As for "test driving the car" who ever buys the opened box sealed up with clear tape on the shelf when a shiny new shrink wrapped box is next to it? You can figure out your "compatibility" with a potential marriage partner talking with your clothes on. Honestly, more people get divorced over money and finance differences than they do about sex.

[rawr123]

pros:

you don't have to worry about possibly getting pregnant before your ready

its more meaningful to whoever your first is

sex can cause major emotional pain if its with the wrong person

cons:

you wait till your married

as a Christian I think waiting till marriage is best.

[Enishi]

There's a 60 percent divorce rate in this country, that means that even if you waited til marriage it's 60/40 chance it won't work out anyway. It's not like you're guaranteeing anything by marrying anyone, so I don't know why you'd bother.

However, I don't put much stake by marriage anyway. I figure if I find someone who I want to be with forever, I don't need a priest from a religion I don't believe in to "sanctify" it, effectively telling me it's okay by HIM if we go have sex. You know, now that he read small portions of a book at us.

[cooldude]

So weird thing happened..this girl I was talking to who I thought would never think of premarital sex, said she wouldn't mind it, like she doesn't understand waiting til marriage. And I'm the same way, you have to test it out before you buy it...just kidding, I'm not like that, but I think if it happens, then hey. great!

[dasilvaj7863]

Question would you buy a car without test driving it? I k ow this is not the best comparison but it gets you thinking!

[peace-love-couture]

Yea,uh,ok,here's the thing,sex and driving,two different things.Driving has no emotional effects,sex,does

[dasilvaj7863]

On a serious note I think it takes a very strong willed person to wait until marriage cause there is a lot of pressure on teens today to fit in and to experiment with sex at a very young age these days. So I say good for you if you want to wait until your emotionally stable to handle the responsibilities that come from the results of have sex. I think once you find that special someone that you can trust with your heart your questions will be answered. I waited until I was 18.

[Anonymous]

Pros - No baby feeding at 2am, no stds, college education completed, masters degree an option.

Cons - You suck at sex the first time you are with your man the night of your marriage. Your man leaves you for another man because you sucked that badly in bed the night of your marriage. Your man chops off his penis and decides to become a woman because he would rather have men screwing his fake vagina than to ever have to put his penis in another woman like you ever again. Your man realizes that a virgin is the best sex ever but since you are technically no longer a virgin after he has sex with you, he then leaves you so that he can go find another virgin to screw.

I thank thee girlsaskguys dot com for allowing me to be an anonymous a**hole.

[peace-love-couture]

Stop answering my questions