Is It Transphobic To Not Be Attracted to Trans Men With Vaginas?

[Anonymous]

I apologize in advance if any of the language I am using, I'm still learning and fully admit I'm ignorant to a lot. (Not that that is an excuse). Please feel free to correct me, I know there is more learning and research I need to do. I just want to make it clear I'm not actively trying to disrespect or oppress anyone. I'm not saying that saying that I am not attracted to all men that just so happened to be trans, I'm just not attracted to people in general who have vaginas. I know it would be transphobic to saying I'm not attracted to all people who just so happen to be trans, or all men that just so happen to be trans, just people who have vaginas. I'm 5'5, black, chubby/curvy/thick build, long hair, and pretty feminine looking. I honestly are attracted to guys who are not like me. The shortest guy I've dated or even hooked up with was 6 feet. I like then muscular or on the thin side. Very masculine. Facial hair is a big plus. I just love guys who have things that I don't. I've never been involved with a man who happens to be trans, and I'm not rejecting the idea, they would just have to had surgery to have a penis (I don't know the proper term). I understand that attraction does not exist in a bubble. But I wouldn't find it racist if someone was not attracted to me because I'm black. But I also understand that is not the same thing. If I am being transphobic please let me know. I'm trying to grow and learn and improve the space I take up and the energy I put out in the universe.

[Anonymous]

So in other words you are a straight person, that doesn't want to sleep with a woman, that claims to be a guy. There is nothing wrong with that. You should feel free to be attracted to anyone you want to be attracted to, for any reason without being judged for it. You should never allow yourself into being shamed into dating someone you don't want to date.

I am tired of people trying to label everything as a phobia, if we don't openly accept the way they want to define things like gender. It is a way to make it look like anyone that disagrees with them has a disease, so they can win the argument by shaming the other person. It makes as much sense as telling people that don't think Pluto is a real planet has some sort of phobia. it is just a way of manipulating other people.

People don't have to agree with everyone else on everything. If someone doesn't feel comfortable having sex with a transgender, they have as much right to feel that way without being judged for it, as the transgender has to feel the way they do. To tell someone they should be ashamed for not wanting to have sex with people of a certain group, is as wrong as a shaming someone for wanting to have sex with people of a certain group.

[shessoheavy]

Trans men are MEN. Even if they do not have a penis, they deserve to be respected as their actual gender. Thinking of Trans men as anything other than men is transphobic. Being attracted to trans men or not is not.

[Opinion Owner]

Wrong. Calling someone phobic because they don't agree with your definition, is just a why to shame people so that you can make them look bad. It is a shitty way for you to try and win an argument. Other people are entitled to their own beliefs, and if that upsets you, then that is just too bad.

[shessoheavy]

Sure you are entitled to your beliefs, but they are Transphobic nonetheless. Trans people are the one who know what it is like to be Trans, therefore they are the ones who get to define their experiences and what is discriminatory to their identities. Not Cis gendered people, AKA you and me and everyone not Trans.

[Opinion Owner]

It isn't transphobic, to disagree over how to define gender. It is a matter of not agreeing over the science in their claim. There is no phobia attached to it whatsoever. Transgenders don't have any more right to change the definition of what a man or woman than any other random person on the street.

[shessoheavy]

You never be able to convince a Trans person that. It is transphobic, because you are saying that they must be defined by their genitalia.

[PhoxWhyttPortshore]

Well, no. You aren't transphob. You are simply used to men having dicks.
And if the coincidence arises that you meet a transmale and start to like him but you have problems due to the fact that he isn't completely through with surgery and therefore has no or only a micropenis just be honest in a appropriate way. Guess what, he would be greatful to know what the real problem is and not feel denied because he as transmale is "abnormal".

[Anonymous]

I think that "phobic" people are those who have a deeper problem with transgender people (They are not comfortable around them), just like when someone who has arachnophobia hates spiders and doesn't want to be anywhere close to them (I know it's not a best example, I'm aware of what a real phobia is).
I don't believe that you are transphobic, and it's a perfect reasonable thing to not like someone, like if a lesbian girl liked you but you're not lesbian, you're not homophobic for rejecting her (politely).

[abundantlyrich]

If you don't like it, its fine. You won't get a fine or community service for disliking. You're over intellectualizing over this agony of yours. Chill and enjoy the roses in your garden.

[been_waiting]

That's not transphobic.
Just because you aren't attracted to a certain type of sexuality doesn't mean you are transphobic/homophobic/biphobic/whatever

[TonyV]

It's not transphobic.

I know genitals aren't suppose to be a big deal but they kind of are.

You not a monster if you want to feel a real throbbing penis, no one would blame you if a silicon strapon for the rest of your life isn't good enough.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Are you kidding? You are saying you don't want to be with a girl who wants to be a man but still has a vagina? You just like your men dick. thats really not anything to be that worried about

[TedStar]

She just wants that mushroom tip :'')

[shessoheavy]

Trans men are MEN. Treating them as anything other than men is transphobic.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

@shessoheavy - so because QA wants her men to have a penis, she's transphobic? That's the dumbest shit I've heard all day. I'll call a trans woman a girl and be polite, but no way would I suck a dick.

[shessoheavy]

No that is no what I am saying at all. Attraction is blind. That is the whole reason that their are orientations other than straight. Nobody can help who they are attracted to. For example, I am asexual and I am not attracted to anyone sexually but am attracted to girls aesthetically; so I am aesthetically attracted to some women including some trans women. For me genitalia has no bearing on whether I find someone attractive, but I realize that is not the case for many people and that is perfectly fine. What is transphobic is referring to trans men as women, which you did in your original commit.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

@shessoheavy. Give me a break. Honestly, this pc shit is retarded. If you are born with a vagina you are a girl, so I described it as such.

[shessoheavy]

so if you were to wake tomorrow with a vagina would you be a girl? Gender is not defined by your parts. My penis does not make me a man, my male brain does.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

@shessoheavy you are making a ridiculous point. A newborn doesn't have the capacity to indicate what he/she feels he/she is. So yes, the parts define the gender. Sorry it upsets your tumblr sensibility.

[shessoheavy]

In a society that uses gender roles people are going to be defines by their parts at birth. The world would be better off with no gender roles however. That is the whole reason that Trans even has to exist as an identity, otherwise people would just be themselves without any gender stereotypes to adhere to. All of that is beside the point and very wishful thinking. If you refer to Trans men as women than that is transphobic, period. You will not be able to convince Trans people from feeling any different about it. Also keep in mind that while today these remarks are more or less socially acceptable to say, that will not always be the case. Just like 50 years ago racist, sexist, and homophobic things were not as taboo as they are now. You may regret it one day.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

@shessoheavy when you can explain to me how I'm afraid of trans people I'll entertain your silliness.

[shessoheavy]

Ya, I am not sure why... phobic is used for some things. It should be another term. It meaning is that it is something discriminatory towards Trans people.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

@shessoheavy - I didn't discriminate, either. I just said a phrase you didn't like. That's how silly your points are.

[xXiTacoXx]

It just means you're a normal heterosexual woman not a trans phobic. :T

[EJtheACEguy]

No, its not transphobic. As long as you're supportive to them, its fine, theyre not entitled to you dating them

[Error_204]

"X-phobia" is never based on your attraction to the subject.

[dwiller943]

No. It's literally just preference.

[gapminder]

I think you are putting too much thought into it. You don't need to apologize for liking normal wangs.

[BeyondCuriosity]

Attraction is not something you can control. If you still respect them as human beings, you're not being a bigot of any sort.

[oxytocinkilla]

You are not transphobic. Is Ok if you don't like to sleep with people with vaginas. However trans men are still men and no women. Most of them are straight, married, have kids, jobs...

[JackAaron]

No, it's not transphobic. It's a sexual preference and you can't help that.

[Anonymous]

Nope you're not trans-phobic for not wanting to sleep with a trans man. Someone is transphobic if they hate trans people for being trans.