I'm a mistress, why do guys have them?

i met a guy at a bar a while ago and he took my number and we've been talking everyday since. when he added me to Facebook, his Facebook gave me the slight impression he had a girlfriend.

after doing some serious snooping turns out he's like 6 years older than me, pretty wealthy, engaged and living with a woman and yet he talks to me like I'm potentially a love interest.

i know what I am to him. a mistress. what do I mean to him? like why bother talking to me all day and doing nice things for me if you just want me for sex? is that all it's about for him?

he wants to spend thanksgiving with me and introduce me to his friends. that sounds pretty intense to do with someone who's just for sex. or is he just showing me off? I know he has 3 houses, each in a different city. and I've only been to one so far


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  • When guys like that "settle down"; they do so because they want to start a family. If it was because of sex, they would never settle down. If it was because of love, they would still never settle down. Men like that have concluded that the women who tend to be attracted to either his looks or money, are women who are just interested in sex or someone to take care of them.

    Interested in sex:

    - Sluts

    - B*tches

    Interested in s/o to take care of them:

    - Whores

    so the way he sees it is:

    "I can't get married to a slut or b*tch, because they would run off and have sex with other guys, and that defeats the purpose of getting married and maintaining the appearance of certain family values.. If I get married to an overt whore, then everyone in my family and all of my friends will call her a gold-digger, not to mention the children will grow up with negative feelings towards their mother and women in general.. So instead, it's probably best to look for a covert whore "good girl" who will hide and mask those intention behind the guise of morality, tradition, religion, family values and her fake undying love for me"

    It all seems so wonderful.. until the ring goes on..

    like my family law professor (who was a woman) used to say.. the problem with marriage is.. that as soon as you say "I do".. you can almost hear the sound of those big heavy prison doors slamming shut behind you.. and it's going to take a lot of time and money to get them open again and escape.. and it's not too long until one or both partners become aware and comfortable with this fact.. and start letting go.. because the fear of their partner leaving them is almost non-existant now.. so they let their appearance go.. they put in no effort to make the other person happy.. and before you know it.. this fantasy of happily ever after has turned into a life sentence..

    So men like that have made the mistake of getting married to someone they thought would be good for them.. and are now discovering how miserable they are during marriage..

    - maybe she's too financially demanding

    - maybe she doesn't appreciate a thing he does for her

    - maybe she really doesn't care for him or love him (and he longs to feel that from s/o)

    - maybe the sex they have is just sex.. and emotionally meaningless.. and he seeks intimacy

    - maybe they no longer have sex.. and he's just looking for sex somewhere else

    - maybe she's trying to withhold sex as a bargaining chip.. and this is his answer to that

    - maybe she's ignoring him and focused only on the children

    - or maybe he's just not happy; period.. and looking for s/o else

    the truth is.. you have no idea.. everything at this point is assumption and guesswork on your part.. those are the REASONS why men like that have "other women" on the side.. but you haven't given enough detail so we can conclude exactly which reason HE has YOU..

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      I don't know anything about the woman he's with because he has yet to even tell me he has one. so I have no idea what her deal is. he's taking me out tomorrow, I'm not sure where because he says it's a surprise. the only time he lets on that he wants to have sex with me is when he's had a few drinks at a party or when I have. otherwise he talks about taking me around the world, that finding a fellow traveller is hard to come by, that he's sick of spoiled little girls and he likes that I'm a rulebreaker

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      We have had sex already, we had sex last weekend. and then I added the update, he is still the same.

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      In that case.. why do you want to complicate ur life? that means he genuinely has feelings for u.. and since there's already an other woman in the picture.. that means he's looking for a sexual and emotional relationship with u.. that he can't find with her.. quite flattering for you I'm sure.. but why do you want the drama in your life that comes with being with a married hopeless romantic guy? there are plenty of single guys just like this.. PLENTY of guys looking for romance/love that are SINGLE..