Is being called a MILF a compliment or not?

My boyfriend is 18 and I am 34. I read on his Facebook the other day and his friend told him he is "so lucky because he gets to f*** a MILF every... Show More

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  • WOW I used 2950 of the 3000 characters and my internet fizzed out as I was submitting it. I don't think I'll be able to write anything quite as insightful again the second time around, but I'll give it another go...

    ...

    Let's be completely honest, it's a distinct possibility that's all he sees you as. It doesn't have to be, but the first thing that most guys in his position are going to see in you is that you're a sexually exotic item. And whether you've admitted it to yourself or not, the first thing most women your age see in a young, strong, boyish, virile guy like him is that he's another sexually exotic item, a "boy toy".

    But the things that you're worrying about aren't necessarily exclusive to relationships with an age difference. Everybody worries about whether or not other people like them for who they are or just because they fufill some sort of sexual ego. It's a completely natural worry.

    When you're a sexually exotic item to someone else (as in, dating outside of your normal crowd), you always run the risk of being used for someone else's sexual ego. I've been there too. I'm a mixed Korean, Greek, and Slavic guy, and I wouldn't say that I'm bad to look at. I knew a white girl who I thought was great and we had a healthy sexual relationship, but later I would find out that she used to live in Singapore so she had a thing for Asian men. When I found out she would refer to me to her friends as the "cute Asian guy", I knew I'd be better off elsewhere.

    Now, I've been with plenty of other girls where the exotic thing has never been an issue. I met a girl on a trip and we exchanged online contact information and kept in touch. To her, I was an extremely exotic item, not just for my race but because I went through a punk-rock thing at the time (I had a rocker mohawk haha). We admitted there was sexual tension but agreed we should be friends first because of the distance. Now, we have become very close and know that our relationship, while there's a lot of passion between us, is based completely off of a real-level attraction.

    It's possible to have a relationship with real attraction in your position. One famous example would be Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Another example would be an older woman I met last summer, where we became close through talking. I didn't pursue it because I was a bit shy about it, but I soon realized I was completely open to something happening between us and that I liked her for real reasons. But of course, it's not the first idea most people get.

    All in all...

    As far as being called a "MILF", there's no other way to take it than flattery. You're the object of someone's desire and that's a thing you should take with pride. As for figuring out the terms of the relationship between you two, there's nothing more you can do but be open and honest and find those reasons for yourself. But at least wear the "MILF" badge with pride, it's not a bad thing in itself at all. ;)