Why does my boyfriend lose his erection right before sex?

My boyfriend loses his erection right before we have sex and sometimes during sex. He's fine during foreplay and stuff, but when we actually want to do it, he can't keep it up. He's really embarrassed and says its not me, it's him.

What's going on?

Most Helpful Guy

  • He probably has performance anxiety and isn't into what he's doing enough. A lot of guys can't perform on demand. They also need foreplay sometimes and being close to their partners. Usually, when a guy can't keep his erection it's often because when couples hang out and mess around a little they're like, well lets have sex. Since a guys biggest sex organ is in his head, he has to have a strong sexual feeling and desire for the girl he's about to have sex with. If he doesn't, then what starts out as a good erection fades away as his emotional feelings for the girl fades away. In your boyfriend's case it could of course be a personal physical thing or it could be emotional. But more than likely when he's having sex with you his subconscious is telling him that what he's doing isn't right. Like he's just not into it enough. You need to stop having sex and start enjoying the things that lead up to having sex instead and wait until you have a loving relationship rather than be having sex as a fun thing to do. For some people that still works great, but for others it doesn't good at all.

    • We waited 7 months to have sex actually, we are in a very loving relationship.

    • Loving? It sounds like a semi-long relationship to me. Ilovelegs has a great response to your question. What I would like to add is this: If he says it isn't you, it more than likely isn't. Head games can do a number to your feelings, but if a guy isn't arroused by you, why would he be sticking around?

      He diggs you, enough said... It could be many things and the only way to find out would be by talking WITH him about what's going on (i.e. recognizing when something is wrong and identifying it)

    • Very good added contribution ArtistBboy. Well said!