I'm really afraid to let him see me completely naked....?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I am in an awesome relationship with a great guy! We have talked about getting married and we have held off on getting really physical. In fact, I have never been really physical with a guy. I have never been completely naked in front of one. My body is not that great. I am bigger and have stretch marks. I don't like my big breasts as they are not all perky like small ones are. I don't like the flab I have around my stomach. I know that soon, if not when we get married...he is going to want to see me and all. I wish I could be completely comfortable with the idea, but to be honest...I am soooo nervous. I get clammed up just talking about it. I have talked to him about all this. I got really emotional and everything and he just hugged me and told me that he loved me for everything that he couldn't see. He even said that he didn't even see the physical me anymore. I am still really worried about it though. Guys, what do you think when you see a girl naked for the first time?

[VampSoldier]

What you are going through is perfectly natural and most people go through it themselves. Both guys and girls go through it but it is more common in girls. I myself went through the same thing and I'm a male.

You feel insecure about your body and all your imperfections and even if you have certain attributes that excel more than others, you still think they aren't good enough.

The thing to remember is at the end of the day, he loves you the same no matter what you look like. He sounds like a decent guy from the little I know about him and if you explained to him then he should be patient and understanding.

My advice to you is exercises. Practice standing in front of the mirror naked and just look at yourself. Don't look at the imperfections, we all have them and it's natural but try to look at yourself through his eyes.

At that moment he would be stood there looking at you and thinking how much he loves you. An old saying is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and it is completely true. If he loves you, you could look like you have spent too long in an orangutan cage and he'd still think you were beautiful clothed and unclothed.

Also bear in mind that you may see them as imperfections but a lot of men see them as perfections. We are not out looking for the perfect woman who looks, acts and thinks like a robot. It is those annoying attributes about your personality and those little freckles down your back, etc that make us love you more.

As for your stretch marks. No sweat it... most women and in fact, most men have them nowadays. We are living in a fast food society and the days of ultra thin girls are almost over so savour what you got because what you have is what most guys are looking for.

So when it comes down to it. Tell him you think you are ready (when you are) and take it slow. It helps if he undresses with you. If he takes his top off then helps you take your top off, etc...

Sometimes the hardest part can be when you get down to the underwear and you can hit a wall. Try not to over think it and don't look down. Just look into his eyes and think about how much you love him and how much he loves you and in time it should just come naturally.

Best wishes with your situation and I hope everything works out for you!

[Asker]

Wow! Thanks so much. This was really helpful. I think the part about just looking into his eyes when our clothes are coming off is helpful. It may seem obvious but thinking about that makes me feel better, because when I look into his eyes....nothing else really matters. Thanks!

[VampSoldier]

Any time! I'm glad I could be of help to you... ^^

[perfectspace]

ok for starters...i totally agree with the guy below...lol ...it is true...when guys see a girl they are with naked ..the first thing they think is sex...the second thing they think is sex...and the third thing they think is when is more sex lol.

seriously though...

you really shouldnt worry about this at all! it sounds to me like you have a guy that really loves you for you ...especially if you guys haven't really been to physical and he is still talking about marrying you and loving you. I have a friend who was going through almost the exact same thing and was talking to me about her stretch marks and being uncomfortable being naked and what not..this was something that bothered her a lot. and I told her the same thing...dont worry about it..when it comes time to being naked infront of your boyfriend it isn't going to matter...he isn't going to care about anything at all...except being with you...

shortly after this she got naked for the first time...and had no problems whatsoever! he couldn't of cared less. he just wanted to be with her. so seriously don't worry about it.

now if it comes down to it and you still are not comfortable...start working out a little...i don't mean going to the gym and killing yourself...just go run around the block once a day...or walk someplace close you would normally drive to... you will not only see a change in your physical appearance within a couple weeks...but more importantly you will start to feel and think different..your energy levels will rise...you will feel better about yourself...you will notice a change in your confidence level...which is really what it sounds like you need...just to boost your confidence and security with yourself just a little bit to take you to that final step.

i hope this was helpful

Brian from www.ideabombs.com link

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel and trust me they don't notice your imperfections. I was also scared like you and was not physical with any other guy besides my current boyfriend. I know he has had much more experience and that was something that worried me and I know I'm not the super skinny rockin' body type and there are flaws I really can't stand but just have confidence and relax. He won't notice. He will be too caught up in the moment and if he loves you like you say he has more than a physical connection, he has an emotional one and when he does see you naked TRUST ME it is magically especially since you have not been with any other guy. If you still feel nervous try with the lights off that works for me those days when I just feel ughhh...But really you have nothing to worry about! Girls focus on the little things and their flaws when guys really aren't as judgmental when it comes down to this. :) Hope this helps!

[shuddupandsmile]

Okay, I'm not a guy, but I know how you feel. I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy, and for a long time (a year, in fact) I was terrified to even let him see me with my shirt off. A few months ago, we started getting 'physical' and one thing led to another and off came my shirt. At first, all I could think was "I'm so flabby and fat, he must think I'm disgusting" but when I told him that, he denied it. It's a mental barrier that I think you need to work together to get through. Just go slow, one small step at a time. It'll be uncomfortable, but once you get to be more comfortable with yourself, it won't feel so weird.

Good luck, I really hope this helped.

[russianbrunette18]

if he truly loves you, believe me he won't care. He will think you're the most beautiful girl to him. If he will make you feel beautiful, you will feel good too. If you are that self conscious consider losing weight. More confidence will equal better sex. You won't be thinking oh my gosh do I look fat right now? you'll feel good and you will actually show him your body without hesitation. and stretch marks are not a problem . many many girls have them and theyre hardly noticeable after a while. don't worry and good luck!

[whoppers12]

so you haven't had sex with him yet?

i would just start off slow one day without a shirt and keep bra on and so on

[Subotai]

In case you didn't know this guys like big boobs. Also keep in mind this guy loves you. He likes the way you look. For me I find that once I really care about a girl and she cares about me she starts to look better anyway. When guys say my wife/girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world they are not lying even thought that's can't possibly be true in some kind of scientific way. I hope I don't offend you but I'm going to let you know if your man sees you naked he's going to get a boner, on a deeper level he's going to feel loved that you are sharing yourself with him especially since you have never been naked in front of any other man, he is the first. Just like the first explorer to discover a beautiful waterfall or something. Start off slow if your nervous, I assure you he wants to see your breasts and that he likes them.

[Natalieee]

Ah I know how you feel. I used to hate getting naked in front of my ex and if I did...the lights would be very very dim..or off, and the fact his ex girlfriend was a size 8 long haired blonde didn't help my confidence, But at the end of the day if this guy loves you ..what does it matter?

Im sure he loves you for you and not what your body looks like. I know its hard but when it comes to getting undressed infront of him..just act super confident..that in itself is sexy enough.

[MrWizard]

Sounds like you have a great guy! I think most people experience similar feelings to what you are going through. Just remember that when he really loves you, it is for the whole package. He is going to be happy and hopefully if he knows this is an uncomfortable thing for you, he will be extra generous with verbal praise.

When you are ready, start with dim/candle light. It is romantic anyway and will be much softer on the both of you. Find some sexy piece of lingerie to ease you into nothing on (e.g. babydoll with empire waste is good for any body type, a favorite among moms with stretch marks) link link

I say this next bit with the greatest respect and care: If you still feel too uncomfortable, perhaps this could be motivation to make a change in your life. Weddings, school reunions, loved one returning from military deployment all can make for great goals to get more physically fit.

Best wishes!

[Cartiphilus]

It's true that 'love is blind'. If he really loves you, you're the most beautiful girl to him. You are what you are and it sounds like he's already accepted you. You have no worries. When the time comes just take off the clothes and get naked. Everything will be ok.

[Snorkledorf]

I believe the technical term for what I think when I see a girl naked for the first time is "Woohoo!" :)

Body type doesn't matter. Honestly, nobody is perfect. Although your feelings are legitimate (like all feelings are), you really are making too much of this. Most girls put great, consistent effort into finding lists of things they don't like about their bodies, while guys are just like, "Woohoo!" and wouldn't even notice the majority of "problems" if the girl didn't keep pointing them out over and over. We're really simple, honest!

If it's an awesome relationship and he's a great guy, then TRUST HIM. Let him love your body for you, even if you can't right now. Maybe you'll learn how to do so, from him -- finding that peace in your life might be one of the most valuable things you gain from your relationship. Hating/being ashamed of/hiding part of yourself really sucks, and it's amazingly freeing when you finally let that go.

[eSHkidd]

Hahah win

[bbgurl33]

If he loves you he loves all of you... it won't matter he will just be so excited to see you after waiting it will be great

[drakal76]

OK, here's the answer that really counts . . . .

If he wants to marry you then he knows who you are inside and out. That means he loves you for who you are. I think it'll be OK to let your guard down and let you both be happy with each other physically and emotionally. Don't be so critical against yourself, there are so many women than to think so low of themselves when they are far more than they realize.

[Feather]

Yeah, I HATE my body, I am pudgy, I have stretch marks, and scars, yet and I am still virgin, but he has seen me naked, and He calls me perfect, that he loves every bit of me

he only saw me a couple times, and it was brief, but he looks me in the eyes and calls me perfect no matter what

[Ceesa]

He loves you and he'd be the first guy to see you naked? that's a WOW to him ;D

[Jpalms56]

Well this guy seems to love you allot. If he does then you shouldn't worry about it. It shouldn't really make a difference to him if he's a good guy. That's how I see it anyways.

[Titi18]

HE LOVES YOU GIRL, SO LOVE YOURSELF :D

[bellybuttonlint]

Like DemsBones said, if he is willing to marry you...you shouldn't even be asking this question. Us guys can see a woman's body through their clothes, trust me.

[jacquesvol]

"Guys, what do you think when you see a girl naked for the first time?"

I get horny.

And the next times..? I get horny.

[kaylaaxbabiee]

This is so cute, but true. When guys see naked women, they think sex, no matter who the womn is. They can't help it, it's in their genes. God bless mother nature :]

[jacquesvol]

This doesn't mean I'll rape her.:D

[augustine_64]

your really asking this? um I never actually saw...yeah but if I was about to guess first thought sex second thought she's so beautiful. so don't worry if it makes you uncomfortable about it tell him and ask him at first to close his eyes or just blindfold him when your naked at first and once you feel comfortable let him see.

[DemsBones]

if he was willing to talk about marriage he not wants to see you naked but would enjoy it

[retic]

From what you said, I will assume he loves you. Rule number 1: do NOT rub it in his face that your "body is imperfect"; he will STILL desire you for who you are (that was one of the disagreements I had with an ex; I was already..."in the heat of the moment" then she'll break down and say, "she's fat"...nothing kills my mood faster than that).

When I first saw my girlfriend naked for the first time, I felt like I was in paradise...HONEST!

[Lena92]

If you've talked about getting married then you should be comfortable enough to let him see you naked. If he loves you, he will accept you no matter how you look.

[Anonymous]

ok if he wants to merry you he is doing it for you

and not ur body.if he doesn't wanna see it then he may have already said something to you about.

i think you should stay the way you are because he LOVES You FOR U!

[Anonymous]

Most guys don't even notice those little flaws that us women get so worried about and stress over. Especially if your with someone who loves you and wants to spend his life with you, those are such small issues, no one is perfect. Stop worrying and be confident about your body, it makes you all the more sexy.