How do you ask a guy to go down on you?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy for 5 months. He's 28 years old. He has gone down on me like 3 or 4 times, maybe. I go down on him all the time. He asks sometimes and I don't even hesitate anymore... Sure he touches me down there, rubbing the clit and fingering, but I don't think he realizes that I need both at the same time for the maximum effort to orgasm. I haven't even O'd with him. Though I know it's harder for girls (I've only O'd twice and in one night -- guess you can say I was on a mission)...It's a sad thing, yes it is... Even when I'm by myself -- it's hard...grrrrr. ...but why am I so shy that I can't ask him directly to do it. I mean, the guys I've dated in the past do it without question. I feel since he hasn't done it in awhile -- that he's just assuming I don't need it, but I want it soooo much more now, lol. Any girls have any advice? Guys, what advice do you have? Should I just ask?! Thanks everyone...

[Anonymous]

Since guys you dated in the past have gone down on you in the past without question I can see why you're missing out on that now because once you start getting pleasured that way you want it to continue and you have every right to expect that from a boyfriend. Whatever it takes, you need to get your boyfriend to understand that you expect being pleasured that way from him much more often than you now are especially since you've been going down on him with no problem. It's natural for a guy to want to go down on a girl so he should be after you for that a lot, but maybe you've been spoiling him by going down on him too easily without getting anything back in return. From now on when he expect it the next time just tell him you want that just as much as he does, and yes just ask if you have to. You shouldn't have to ask but if you do, then ask! He needs to learn how to bring you to orgasm orally whenever he goes down on you which should be whenever you want it. My boyfriend started going down on me as soon as we started going together because he wanted to, and as much as I like giving him head I think he likes eating me out more. That's the way it should be because girls are more emotional and being pleasured that way has more meaning to them and to a relationship than what it does to a guy when he gets a bj. Making out to us includes his going down on me. It's just so natural for him to want to pleasure me that way. Make that your mission now. Good luck!

[fastandfurious]

Good advice!

[aimige]

Great advice...

[Asker]

That's great....thanks :) but I guess I'm afraid to ask, lol. it's just SOOO unnatural and uncomfortable to ask. since I've never had to before....

[Opinion Owner]

It won't seem so unnatural and uncomfortable if you ask at a time when he's expecting you to go down on him. the next time he expects it and you don't do it, he's bound to ask. That's when you're like, "how about you going down on me first?" I hope you're not afraid of losing him just cause you asked. If you are, well then I'd say he's not into you for the relationship part then. He's more just enjoying you giving him oral. Just tell him a couple of your friend's bf's do it all the time.

[Asker]

LOL True. I don't think I'll lose him. Lately he's done 69.... Slowly I'll start pushing for that.... But I'm on the Nuva Ring -- I feel maybe that gets in the way?

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't need to get in the way. I know one girl that has one and she says her boyfriend is OK with that and goes down on her all the time. Doing 69 is a good start. But yes, start gradually pushing for that until he knows his pleasuring you orally is expected of him just like he wants you to do the same for him. Don't take no for an answer if you truly want it to be equal.

[Asker]

Thanks dearest!! I'm still terrified to ask, lol. I have no idea why.... i get nervous...can't control it y'know? he tries, I can tell, but sometimes if he's not doing it right...i just wanna do it, lol... but then I realize after we do it...i'm a little disappointed in myself cause I don't have balls of my own, lol...silly, eh? it's something I need to work on. I already know...with time. :)

[Curiouschicagoguy28]

Explain to him in detail, how much it turns you on, how much you love it when he does it and how amazing it feels. If you do that and he still avoids that area, then that is a bad sign about the type of guy he is. Within reason, a guy should be willing to do whatever to get his girl off.

Having said that, the last 5 or so girlfriends I had wouldn't give a bj for more than 5 seconds and I haven't had a girlfriend swallow in over 8 years. I love them both, told them that, and they said that basically it made them sick and they were not going to do it.

[Asker]

:) thanks for the advice...i think I should drink a little before, it gives me more of a boost to say what I want, lol. like last night. lol. What? they wouldn't? I'm not gonna say I love it, but he does. and just recently I let him go in my mouth...and I swallowed -- he's the first. lucky him, lol... he also told me that I'm one of the only girls that could make him come while giving a BJ -- which I almost find it hard to believe. what's your say on that? he had to stop me last night. lol.

[Curiouschicagoguy28]

He might be telling you the truth. If I remember (I have only had an orgasm from a blow job 3 times in my life and been swallowed only once), It takes ALOT of concentration for me to have an orgasm from oral sex. Partly it has been because my girlfriends acted like they were doing me a favor and that doesn't turn me on. The main reason is that the girls that have performed oral don't create a lot of friction. It felt vaguely wet but it wasn't close to enough to push me over the edge.

[Asker]

LOL. I try to give 110%. Yeah, I've gotten tired before....but it's rare. I like to finish the job. Even though I think it's weird -- I like to look up at him...and smile. The only thing is -- sometimes he doesn't have enough energy after to continue with me. LOL. But sometimes it doesn't matter to me...I go to bed knowing I pretty much rocked his world tonight, haha. Just wish he would return the favor without ME asking....*sigh*.

[ibej818]

Just grab his head and push it down there! He'll get the point! After a few times, he'll know what's good for him. ;)

[John-Bee]

Tell him you first, & then I'll return the favor.

[Asker]

I feel like I won't be able to let go cause what if he's not comfortable with going down? :\

[John-Bee]

Well first off if you do let go & he sees how much you like it that may help him. If he has done it before maybe there was a bad experience? Talk about how much you may like it (if he doesn't go down) say something like you really like it when I do it to you so it's kind of the same thing.

[l-hedoniste]

Grab his head, and thrust it firmly in your crotch. He won't miss that hint.