Caught him looking at porn - am I overreacting?

[devilish96]

Yesterday I caught my boyfriend looking at porn. The thing is, I was right downstairs! I can understand maybe if I was gone but I was still in the house. I caught him and when I did, he told me it was my fault. He said that I was bitchy and wasn't going to give him any. He's never been like this before. I can't even sleep with him now, because it feels like he's thinking of other girls instead of me. Am I overreacting?

[alpinestars-2002795]

Yes, if you want him to stop looking at porn intervene and help that'll pull him away from it everytime. Let him know it's ok to come to you Anytime for help if he needs it, that's how you stop that, and the only way. IF your that obsessed about stoping it, that's how you do it. Otherwise he'll just keep using it instead. Cause deep down he wants it, but he feels either you don't, or you won't do it even if he asked. WHich isn't a good thing for you.

AlPiNe~

[barbabydoll69]

I think it is definitely okay for a guy to watch porn even if he does have a girlfriend. As long as you were calm with the situation I think it's okay for you to question why he watched it with you being downstairs. It shouldn't have been too big of a deal though. Just be careful with what you freak out about. It can definitely ruin a relationship, and who really wants to end their relationship with their boyfriend over porn. :)

[Marie099]

Most men enjoy looking at porn. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as they aren't physically touching the girls. Has your sex like changed at all? Maybe you should talk with him about it and sex some time out each day for sex even if its 10 minutes... that way you are pleasing each other in a fair manner.

[pearl1979]

I think that you are a little insecure with yourself. Be confident. Porn is normal for men or women to watch. Your reaction to it just made him defensive that's all. If you are comfortable in your relationship trust it.

[goldie]

Yes, if you accuse and make them feel they are doing something wrong, they get very defensive and it makes the issue much worse than it really is. When I was younger it never bothered me for my guy to watch, but now I'm older and not as secure.

[Schwildcat]

Porn is no big deal. Think about it this way. Would you rather he looks at girls he CAN'T have and will never meet or girls online or real life that he COULD meet and have?

[homer]

Well, guys will always watch porn. Even when they are 70. Though you might be over reacting by not sleeping with him, it also sounds like he has done it too, when blaming you for his excuse. Instead he should have admitted that it was ok to watch porn, and even asked you if you'd like to join him. Talk to him and say it is ok to watch porn and you might even add, "only when he is with you" and it could be a new dimension to your night life, or day life in that matter.

[goldie]

This is very true. My husband is 57 and he still watches (when I'm not there) and says it has nothing to do with me. We have an active sex life still. Age has nothing to do with it. it's normal for men to like to look and watch.

[DreamAchiever]

This is a weird one, you know ... sometimes sex gets boring, and mind starts wondering off onto the net trying to look for something... I'm telling you from experience, sometimes A guy needs to see another girl in order to light things up in the bed with you.

[loveAnsweringOldQS]

Yes, if you want him to stop looking at porn intervene and help that'll pull him away from it everytime. Let him know it's ok to come to you Anytime for help if he needs it, that's how you stop that, and the only way. IF your that obsessed about stoping it, that's how you do it. Otherwise he'll just keep using it instead. Cause deep down he wants it, but he feels either you don't, or you won't do it even if he asked. WHich isn't a good thing for you.

AlPiNe~

[Alucard]

He snapped more out of self defense than because of an actual problem. Evey guy looks at porn or masturbates.

To be honest work it out and it'll be a funny story in the future.

[johnsmith2116]

He shouldn't have snapped like that. But, you need to consider that a guy might look at porn when he thinks his girl isn't going to give him sex.

Although, he should have been more discreet and tried harder not to let you catch him looking at it.

[Scrimz21]

Yeah he is mad at you because you are overreacting. Being caught watching porn is a very bad and embarrassing thing, so by you overreacting makes him more embarrassed and mad.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Guys look at porn and people fantasize. Í doesn't always have to do with a lack of sex

[Anonymous]

You over reacting. I would agree with the guy, if your not giving satisfying him sexually, he's gotta get sexual satisfaction somewhere.

[Anonymous]

There are 2 kinds of guys. Those who admit watching porn and liars.

The thing is, it's not a slight on you. Porn represents an unattainable goal. Even in a committed relationship guys are going to watch porn. It's not something to get upset over, any more than he'd get upset catching you reading romance novels.