I Had Sex For the First Time and He was Disappointed? How to make up for it?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year,he was not a virgin and I was and we recently had sex so he took my virginity.And of course he knew I was a virgin. So,we talked about having sex and what we would use and the basics,like position and etc.So,i wanted to make it special and I know this is cliche,but I just moved into my new apartment,so I decided to rent a hotel,then surround it with candles,incense,rose petals and a warm bubbly bubble bath for the two of us.We had sex and yadda yadda.Afterwards we talked about it and all he did was tell me how disappointed he was.He said all I did was follow a cliche idea with the candles and etc and that it was stupid and to never do it again.Then he said he wanted to start out with doggie style,and he didn't enjoy missionary or having to go all slow and he said he didn't like that I wasn't wet enough.So,i apologized for it all and for it not being good enough or special enough to him and told him I wouldn't do that again and that I would use lube next time and we could do other positions.So I'm wondering,how could I make up for messing up our first time together?

[Anonymous]

oh my god. ok your boyfriend sounds so inconsiderate. no offense or anything but this was supposed to be your special time not his. he has done before...he should have been more interested to make it good for you and not for himself and doing it doggy style. I don't think you have anything to make up for. I would be mad as balls. he should be apologizing to you not the opposite. but if you still want to make it up or whatever just make sure you discuss more what you re going to do with him before you do it. so that both of you know what to expect...

[Asker]

Ok

[TheFatTwig]

Sounds like you two need to compromise. It's nice that you wanted to make it a special setting and everything, but you have to realize that guys have different fantasies than girls.

Also, your boyfriend should have been nicer to you about the whole experience. I don't know what he was expecting with it being your first time. Sounds like your guys' biggest problem is a lack of communication.

[Asker]

Then am I supposed to just do what he likes only?

[TheFatTwig]

No. You both need to try and fulfill each OTHER'S fantasies. It's not all about him and it's not all about you. It's about finding somewhere in between where you're both having a good time.

[Asker]

Never mind

[TheFatTwig]

Wow, all the guys that answered your question (or failed to answer if, which seems to be the case with a lot of them) are very harsh. I'm sorry you had a bad first experience and I hope your boyfriend is more understanding about it in the future.

[Asker]

Yea,uh sure.it's whatever

[ILoveElijah]

Who cares about it being special for him. He lost his virginity. He was supposed to be pleasing you. It was your day.

[maye8384]

If your boyfriend is saying that to you he is a disrespectful idiot! The first time for someone is supposed to be so special and yeah, so what if you were following cliche you wanted it to be special! I don't even know why you would apologize, he should be the one apologizing for being a big asshole!

[cheaboiyaeyae]

how could you make it up to him? lmao, get real

gonna hope this isn't a serious question...but if it's true your boyfriend is basically a dbag and congrats on being dumb enough to stay with a guy like this

[Asker]

Yes this is a serious question,but I'm happy to know I can come on a site to ask for advice and just get ridiculed and not given advice

[cheaboiyaeyae]

Let's see..you were a virgin and he knew this already yet, he expects you to be wet enough/want it faster/do different positions during your first time with him and YOU want to apologize? sorry, but you're dumb or blind to the douchebaggery.

[Asker]

If you aren't going to answer or give me advice,why the hell do you answer?

[cheaboiyaeyae]

Here's the advice: you shouldn't be trying to make it up to him in the first place. the fact that you were alright with his reaction to the event shows quite a bit about the power he has over you. in the end, nothing you could've done would have been "special" enough for him because it was just sex to him obviously. good luck and grow a brain perhaps

[Asker]

Still trying to answer?Leave me alone.I could care less what you have to say.only took you 20 something minutes to "give advice"

[cheaboiyaeyae]

Truth isn't what you wanted to hear, huh? it's a shame...go pick up some self-esteem while you're working on that brain because CLEARLY you don't value yourself that highly =\

[Asker]

How do I not value myself? And thank you dr.phil. I have enough self esteem.

[cheaboiyaeyae]

How do you not value yourself? jeez, that's a hard one! You're trying to make it up to a guy that expresses so much disappointment because your first time wasn't fkn amazing or something rather than realize how much of a tool he is.

[Asker]

Whatever.I just asked for advice,not to be told I'm dumb or have no self esteem and for my boyfriend to be called names

[cheaboiyaeyae]

Yeah, I was a bit harsh...but really now..REALLY? don't apologize to this guy for anything because it's not warranted.

[here4you]

he doesn't deserve you at all

[Asker]

Why?I'm sure he didn't mean to come off as rude,but I guess I should've kept his needs in mind when we did all of this

[here4you]

Not it should've been the other way around he should be more focused on ur needs then you satisfying his

[Asker]

Well what am I supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

girl, this is awful I showed my boyfriend this and he was very shocked and told me he would never treat me like that, you deserve way better and I hope you know that. Im so sorry this happened to you, your first time should be special and I wanted the same thing for mine but it didn't end up that way but I mean he treated me good and was very considerate about it but you should not apologize for anything you didn't do anything wrong he sounds like a complete ass and you deserve someone that will treat you right.

[Anonymous]

woah, i guess he doesn't enjoy it, feels like he was unsatisfied,.

you can't make him feel better if you yourself wasn't satisfied with yourself

dont focus on making him feel better,. you have to enjoy it at the same time

You have to respect your body, and make him feel he owns it..

[Anonymous]

LOL he takes your v.card and you end up saying ur sorry to him? this guy got his b!tch in check

[Anonymous]

he sounds like an a-hole, if I had a guy do that to me after I did all that to make it special I would kick him to the curve. he should've kept he's thoughts to himself. he's not worth it, I wouldn't be telling him sry for nothing and I wouldn't be making it up to him he would have to make it up to me and if he didn't it would tell him see you around.

[Anonymous]

This is nothing more than another fake topic by WhoaHaHa on an alternate chick account to get people riled up ;)

[Asker]

Excuse me?

[Asker]

If you aren't going to answer my Q,then don't answer