I just did a porn shoot...

Ok, so I'm a model professionally. Work has been TERRIBLY scarce. So I started looking for jobs, and ended up booking a "maxim style" project. When I actually got there, it turned out to be hardcore porn. I've never done that sort of thing before. They had 14 girls, and the scene was supposed to be a party scene that eventually becomes an orgy. They told me I didn't have to do anything too sexual, but I would make more money if I at least flashed my t*ts. I refused, and instead ended up more like a prospector/commentator then actually participating in the sex acts. One naked guy did start humping me ( I had clothes on), and I just ran away laughing, spilling beer all over the place. They tried really hard to pressure me to do more, but I wouldn't do it. But I didn't just leave because I really needed the money.anything like that again...

Anyway, I made friends with some of the other girls. A lot of them di this stuff for a living, and they say they hate every minute of it but they need the cash. One girl says she can only do it if she's had some drugs before the shoot. Most of them lose they're boyfriends because of it after a while, or say they can't get dates when guys find out what they do. One girl was an escort on the side and said that after the guys had sex with her, they'd call her a whore and act like they were disgusted by her. She just quit having boyfriends all together. I think she sort of resents all men because of this.

My question is...why do guys like to look at porn, but get all weirded out when it comes to actually seeing the girls in real life? These are real people with feelings, and that's kind of hypocritical, isn't it?

The only girl who's Boyfriend didn't have a problem with it was because he worked for Playboy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Porn is fantasy pure and simple. When men watch it, it channels something primal in their heads because that is what they want to be doing. But in reality they have no respect for the women, and see them as only sex objects and may act like that is all they are good for. And that's kind of the way society has made it I guess. And the escort, and the guys who called her a whore and acted disgusted. They only say and do that to justify what they just did. Calling them a whore makes them feel better about themselves because they had to resort to paying a woman to have sex. You tell me who is the pathetic one? The woman getting paid, or the man who couldn't get any unless he paid?

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What Guys Said 41

  • they say they hate every minute of it but they need the cash. One girl says she can only do it if she's had some drugs before the shoot. Most of them lose they're boyfriends because of it after a while, or say they can't get dates when guys find out what they do. One girl was an escort on the side and said that after the guys had sex with her, they'd call her a whore and act like they were disgusted by her. She just quit having boyfriends all together. I think she sort of resents all men because of this."

    Only people having a very unrealistic view of what's going on will expect it to be otherwise than what you tell here.

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    • You just " forgot" one thing: as much as they hate the job, they love the cash even more. They could be a (poorly paid) cashier at Walmart or serve at MacDo. Yet they still stay in that porn job. Why?

  • Well, the two things you consider about adult modeling:

    1) Models in the adult industry pretty much only date each other because only they understand

    2) They are the representation of a raw and animalistic sexual ideal, hence the term "porn model" (the name explains it all)

    Trying to sell your sex can be degrading if you go any more explicit than glamour modeling. It is difficult to remove your sense of worth from how others treat you (despite them not understanding what you are going through) and having a background such as adult modeling doesn't make things better.

    Men (and of course, women as well) are hypocritical because they lack the empathy to try to understand what these girls are going through. It's difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone walking a path so foreign to your own. Part of the issue is that society tends to be quick to judge others for not living up to some standard that everybody must reach, rather than try to look at the reasons that drives someone to make the choices they do. It takes an extremely non-conservative mind to separate selling one's sex for money and the quality of someone's character. There are a few men and women out there who would be willing to accept the person as more than just as sex object, but those special people are few and far between.

    I can't say I would know how I would react to find out a girl I date has done such things as adult modeling or stripping. It would come down to who she is and how I know her. However, I have wondered what the actors and actresses must be like behind the scenes. I am curious and truthfully, I await the day.

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  • You have made an excellent observation of the hypocrisy of porn, and even though I too look at porn. I believe the reason this sort of double standard exists is for the same reason that all double standards exist, this being that most of the people that exercise such a double standard are insecure and immature. They haven't really evaluated how they feel on the issue that they have the double standard on with any degree of honesty, so they really can't explain why they feel the way they do, they just do, and as a defense they come up with any number of ridiculous excuses to support this feeling. Unfortunately if the person making the excuses isn't really all that intouch with thier EQ or emotional quotient they usually approach most emotional exerperiences this way and stumble about making any number of messes along the way. As for the why most men support this double standard? If I had to guess, it's revolving around the fact that porn is about fantasy, not reality. Men like to watch porn and look at it because we are very visually oriented when in comes to sexual stimulation, so we do like to watch. As far as actual practice is concerned most men would feel threatened by the fact that thier girlfiend/wife was having sex with somebody else and would feel jealous, is this understood by the man in question? Not likely so the excuses and name calling begin to justify thier lack of understanding. it is always easier to persecute someone if you can make them less human, thus the name calling. This unfortunate trait is also seen in biggots or racists. Speaking for myself, while I look at porn, I have no illusions about the trade, in that I would never want to be a porn star, not only do I seriously doubt anybody would wish to pay me to see me naked, but I fear it would do nothing to foster any sort of healthy relationship with my wife whom I Love dearly, the other main reason I wouldn't want to be in the industry is because I wouldn't want to take an activity I really really enjoy and turn it into work. I hope this helps you some, and by the way congrats to you for not compromising yourself, you are more true to yourself. I would hope that the other women that you encountered are able to find work more to thier liking.

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  • It is sort of like this:

    Would you marry your daughter to the person who collects your garbage? No. Why not? They are humans too!

    Also, you like to get your garbage cleaned by them, so why not like them in person?

    Same logic applies here.

    You like to watch porn, but if you think of it logically, it is disgusting that they are selling their bodies (that's what they're doing in a way).

    -------------------

    Another way to approach this is emotion vs. logic. We don't always go with our logic. That's why "love is blind", right? We go with the emotions. Well, watching porn is totally about emotions. You feel horny, you watch porn.

    Then, in real life, you look at things more logically. Someone you meet may be a pornstar, and that is logically the worst job she can have.

    Emotions vs. logic, that's what its all about.

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  • Most people, including males are rather narrow minded. That would include you. You wanted to be paid for being photographed, but you didn't want to follow the director's instructions. That is being a bit narrow minded. The human body is beautiful, and as natural as it gets. It is only societal conditioning that makes you feel awkward being naked in front of people. Our species was naked for thousands of years before anybody tried clothing, and the way things are going, we may all be there again one of these days.

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    • I'm not narrow minded; they lied about the nature of the shoot til we actually got there. And I've done nude shots before. If they payed me more, I'd have at least flashed my t*ts. But it was only for 50 bucks more; screw that. I think you're sort of full of it with the "societal conditioning" because those girls weren't conditioned to feel the way they did.

    • Porn is different from modelling and thinking that doesn't make me narrow minded.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Find another industry to work in - you will regret it hon, there are not many women who come out of he porn industry unscathed.

    As for the guys who hate on their female colleagues - well, as many of the guys on here pointed out, it's self-loathing - stay away from those kinds of people.

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  • That's sounds awful! Sorry you had to suffer for that. Screw the money. Get out of it while you can. Get a boring job if the modeling isn't giving you enough money.

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  • There's a HUGE difference between being a model (even a nude model) and doing p*rn. I 100% understand you boyfriend dumping you because you are doing p*rn (or doing more traditional prostitution). It's not a double standard, either. The entire issue is about having sex with other people. Most boyfriends, while not particularly bothered over your past, simply won't tolerate you having sex with other people in present time (as in while you are supposed to be in a relationship with the boyfriend). Most girls would have the same rules regarding their boyfriend. It matters not that you are being paid to have sex, it's still breaking the rules. Seriously, would you expect your boyfriend to "understand" if you were a paid hit man? After all, murder is OK if someone is paying you to do it and you have not emotions invested in the situation? Right?

    Now, back to the topic at hand. Watching a video of two other people having sex is one thing. Watching a video of your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with someone else is quite another. I'm not here to defend p*rn, but I am pointing out that the issues isn't the p*rn specifically, its that you are having sex with someone else.

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  • if a guy has a girlfriend that does that for money, they don't see it as a job. The see it as another male banging their chick. It's a difference of perspective. I personally wouldn't want a boyfriend who bangs other girls.. even if he is tested regularly and has protection, I could still get some kind of disease because of his profession. not fair.

    Esp if these girls get treated like trash and some strange man jizz's on their face..

    seriously, are you surprised?

    i understand cash.. but there are other ways to make money if its that important.

    even a job at mcd's.

    i am by all means not knocking on people that do porn. whatever.. that's cool with me..

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  • It sounds like this is actually some made up sly anti-porn propaganda or you just had a very unfortunate and uncommon experience with some people who are not really in the real porn business. There are a lot of amateur do-it-yourself wannabe porn people that take advantage of men and especially women who don't know any better. What you described is nothing like the real professional porn studios. I'm in the business myself and I know. I will admit that not all of the the professional companies are respectful of the actors but most these days are. The real porn industry is much different in the last 8 years than it used to be.

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