Why is it so hard for me to accept my small breasts?

I have a really hard time doing so! It seems like whenever I feel kind of confident and OK about them... unexpectedly, an image of oversexualized big breasts appears in front of me. For instance today I was feeling all sexy when all of a sudden I log into Facebook and in the main page where Facebook gives you suggestions of friends to add, there's this woman Veronica Zemanova or something. Huge breasts on a stick thin body. Ugh, why!?! I don't want to see other women's breasts all the time, yet it's on many websites, magazines (even women's magazines), movies, TV, girls flaunting it in the street, etc. And I know I should be stronger than this and not let it affect me. But when was the last time you saw a small breasted girl in a beer commercial? It gives the message that small breasts aren't sexy enough. I don't know if this big breasts thing is social conditioning or if it really is hard wired into males. I mean, males are attracted to Playboy type women, and there's nothing natural about them, like their fake hair and make up, so how could they be hard wired to like something unnatural so much? When humans first appeared on Earth there was no make up, hair dye, razors, breast implants or anything. Yet males are supposed to be hard wired to like all that? How come? It's not natural. I'm sorry for this rant, but I just don't know. Big breasts are everywhere. And even 12 year olds have bigger breasts than mine nowadays. Even my boyfriend likes big breasts better. And I'm sorry to generalize, but men always go "DAMN!" when they see DDs, yet if they see As, they go "Ah, well, I'm sure she has other qualities to make up for it...". Like having small breasts was a flaw, or like they were inherently unsexy, as opposed to big ones. I'm feeling really low, because I know I should be above all this but it's too hard! I just can't seem to accept them. If I at least were stick thin, like Kate Hudson or Keira Knightley, but no. I'm not fat or anything, but I have more meat on my bones than them. I have a BMI of like 22. And I have hips, very wide hips, big thighs, etc. I look "off" balanced. I'm also not as tall. What can I do? I'm scared of surgery and I don't have the kind of money to spend on that... like if I had 5 grand I'd use it on something more productive or urgent.
Updates:
+1 y
Ugh, I told my boyfriend how the Facebook think was upsetting to me, and he got angry. He said I was being dumb, and that so what if these girls appear? I can't believe that, it's like he "sides" with them! Why does he defend that?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • There are just as many guys out there that are into small breasts on a woman as there are that are into large breasts.

    Do you think the size of a guys **** makes the man? (I hope not.) Because the size of a woman's breasts certainly don't make the woman.

    Embrace your real you and relish in the fact that you probably have an easier time buying bras, swimsuits, and look gorgeous no matter what you're wearing. Besides, you don't have to worry about any nasty back problems either!

    If you're feeling "off balance" try taking some pilates or spin classes and tone up a bit. That should help bring things into proportion.

    Also keep in mind that one of the reasons girls are developing so much quicker now-a-days is due to all the chemicals and plastics that are in just about EVERYTHING we're exposed to and especially food. The chemicals, called BPA, act as artificial estrogens to the body and are causing girls to develop at MUCH younger ages than normal and even for guys to not fully develop too (because the guys' testosterone is being cancelled out a bit by the artificial estrogens that even boys are exposed to.)

    In my opinion, any surgery (of any kind) should be the ultimate last resort.

    • Ur right I am a 40D and I HATE it. there a pain in my back and I always have to wear a bra all the time.

    • In most European countries pain in the back due to weight of breasts qualifies you for breast reduction fully paid by social security.

  • This is a response to your update:

    Look at it this way, whether or not those girls have bigger breasts than you or not, he is YOUR boyfriend after all, so something tells me he finds you more attractive than them at least.

    But if he's comparing you and starts saying that he wishes your breasts were bigger, you could always retort and reply back that you'll consider getting breast enlargement surgery when he considers getting penis enlargement surgery. That'll shut him up.

    Seriously though, you don't have anything to worry about! He didn't pick those pictures on Facebook's home page. They probably have some "Facebook Big Breast Indexer". Have you SEEN Mark Zuckerberg? :-) (j/k) But seriously, relax! Enjoy your body, and stop looking at all those photoshopped images in magazines and TV. Half of those pictures are heads pasted on different bodies.

    • 1) He's not with me 'cause he finds me more attractive, he's with me 'cause those girls don't live in small towns like us. 2) I hate that he defends porn and crap, is it so hard for him to be reassuring? Really?

    • You can't control what images appear on websites or what pictures appear in magazines. You can only control how you react to them. Porn is a different matter altogether. For most guys, porn is simply a fantasy, a means to an end (where in this case the "end" is masturbation). Ask yourself, what would you like your Boyfriend to do here? Cancel his FB account so he never sees those images again?

    • No, but instead of telling me I'm dumb for caring about those girls to be reassuring. Just to tell me "Oh, sweetie, don't care, you're better than those skanks" would be better than "Stop it, you're so annoying, so what if there are hot chicks on Facebook? What do you want me to do? Stop complaining about stupid sh*t".

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It's pretty normal for both guys and girls to worry that their bits and pieces aren't up to the standard of what society and/or the media says is sexy. I'm very small breasted and have worried about whether that made me less sexy to the men I was with. However, I've been smart enough to date very nice guys who complement me, and make me feel sexy in an all around way, rather than reducing me to my component parts. In the same way, I'm not going to judge a guy's attractiveness solely based on his equipment; it's just one part.

    A good guy will say the things you are wanting him to say if you're feeling insecure. You sound reasonable in your expectations. After all, it IS annoying to be constantly, chronically, insecure and seeking reassurance (either for a guy or girl to do so), but it sounds like you are just looking for some positive feedback and not getting any. I read below that he actually told you that he wished your breasts were bigger. Nice guys simply do not do that, so be the smart, self-respecting woman that you are and move on to somebody better.

  • I understand exactly what you are saying. I got an hourglass body without the top part of the hourglass lol. I will say this though, I'm a runner, so at least I don't have fat sacks getting all in the way, getting the rash and stuff that happens during a long run in the humidity. Additionally, I have breast fed two beautiful children and guess what? My tits are still perky. I can wear a tank without a bra and not look slutty. You know what too? I appreciate a woman's body just as much if not more than a man's, and guess what... a perky B cup without a bra in a tight tank is far more sexier than a larger set that has to always be strapped into a bra. I'm not into bashing women with larger breasts, because really we all need to quit hating on one another, but the facts I just pointed out to you are truthful.

  • he doesn't side with them? The girls out there that happen to have big boobs aren't like on purpose just popping up around you lol the computer just randomly picked peole to suggest as friends I mean really. Would it be my fault you feel bad about yourself because I happen to have big boobs ( which I hate) and I walked by you? no it wouldn't so he shouldn't be angry but it is dumb of you.

    • Ok, I don't think Veronica Zemanova just happens to have big boobs, since she's like a porn star. Pfft, he is siding witht hem if he says I'm dumb, is it sooo hard for him to just tell me it doesn't matter and I'm better than them? Because I'm not hating on girls who naturally have big boobs, but the porn type ones who're obviously selling something, like that Zemanova woman.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • Big breasts are just part of a fantasy. Kind of a fake attraction really. I see a few questions about this now and then and most of the answers are about how the guy doesn't really care how small they are. But I guess its natural to be concerned about it, I mean a lot of guys are concerned about penis size as well.

  • Some guys think small boobs are sexy, no matter what if a guy seems them naked on you he'll love them if he's not a jerk, I have small boobs too, I'm a 34C but I have no cleavage and guys still think I'm a "Full A" or questioning if I'm a B or not, so it's like I'm not even a C because I don't look like it, but I think having small boobs means guys won't just go out with you for your boobs, how big are you actually?

  • Anonymous User,I once dated a girl. We were both 19 and 18, she wore falsies, was flatter than any boy, thus not "small breasts", no breasts, just nipples but I was very happy to date her. Every time I could touch her it was a lot of fun for both of us. I also dated a woman carrying E or F cups, IDK. I liked her, yes, but her breasts were no fun, not to me and not to her.

  • Read this link and you'll feel happy to have small ones

    There's big possibility you'll have not much feeling left in your nipples after breast surgery. More than 25% of women have chronic pain after breast surgery. But that's a fact the surgeons don't mention in their pubs. link

    Both facts are well known to doctors.

    • Yeah don't get surgery girl. Even with implants, as you get older they will sag and stretch. They will have to keep inflating them overtime to keep them perky. They also don't tell you that.

  • How small?

  • maybe he doesn't understand what is bothering you, for myself i'm not into big boobs, i like smaller ones, maybe he does as well. i don't get why it upsets you

  • Get another boyfriend. Seriously, get another boyfriend. You answered your own question about why you feel inferior cuz of your small breasts, when you said that he prefers big. Don't ruin not only the look of your probably beautiful breasts with a very unnecessary surgery, but also your health. There are more than plenty of us guys who KNOW that small is just as beautiful and sexy as big.

  • What size are u?

  • Your boyfriend should be supporting you, and honestly sounds kind of like a jerk. He shouldn't be with you for your breast size and he should recognize you are beautiful. Small breasts are amazing and all of the most gorgeous girls I know have small breasts.

  • Haha, chill out. I see those girls on Fb, too, and to be quite honest, they look a little silly.

    • https://creative.ak.fbcdn.net/ads3/flyers/46/42/6002409744411_1_cf2effa8.jpg

    • What?

    • That's an actual pic off of Fb.

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  • I love small boobs. "A is for awesome"