I went down on him but...

I went down on my guy for the first time. He hardly made any noise but I heard him say "oh" and "god" a few times quietly, and he did rub my head and hold my free hand at one point. I went down on him for over an hour. Seriously. My mouth hurt and my legs were cramping, but HE DID NOT CUM! Does this mean I did something wrong? I feel like I couldn't do it right or something.

OK Everyone was so helpful and I appreciate it. I just kept at it and learned some new tricks and really paid attention to his expressions and movements to see what he liked, and the next time I went down he came within 2 minutes! I was shocked. :)
Also, I asked him after about 6 successful bjs why he didn't come the first time, and he admitted he was terrified he would mess up my bed and I would be upset, so he said he was thinking about his grandma the whole time trying to not cum. haha


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, you are certainly dedicated to the task you put your mind to! :)

    And no, you aren't doing anything wrong. Ever notice that when you have sex, there is a very rhythmic nature to it? The guy (or girl if you are on top) finds his rhythm and you kind of go with that for a while. BUT as you are getting closer and closer to orgasm the rhythm picks up. And you almost feel instinctively pushed to move faster and faster. That's your body trying to get an orgasm because through rhythm and picking up the pace, that's how it gets it.

    The reason a lot of people don't come during oral sex is because it is either hard to keep a constant rhythm going and very hard to, in your case, move your head up and down his penis fast enough to give him an orgasm. So that's why there is no orgasm. Cause his body isn't getting the rhythmic pace that is increasingly faster and faster.

    There are several things you can try if you want him to orgasm during oral. But first, realize he may not orgasm during oral ever. He may never be able to cause his body might need very specific feelings, that he can't get during oral. So keep this in mind cause you don't want to ever make yourself feel like you aren't doing a good job when it may simply be something impossible.

    One thing you want to make sure of when you start is that he is insanely turned on. Sometimes a guy just gets a hard on and so we start sex. But just like us, guys have levels of arousal. If you start oral when he is at a 5, or doesn't seem to have one of his firmest erections, you are fighting a losing battle. He might get up to a 7 or 8 but he isn't going to get to a 10 he needs to orgasm. So, make sure he is rock hard (or as hard as you see him get) and seems about ready to explode when you start.

    Another thing to consider is you might be licking a guy who likes sucking or sucking a guy who likes licking. That isn't your fault cause he may not even know which one he likes! He just knows it feels good. So when you hear the "oh" or "god", remember what you did.

    Some techniques you can try are, like the guy said, use your hands. You are not cheating him. The best blowjob is with a handjob. Because the hand is better at giving him that rhythmic feel he needs. Your hand can also cling tighter on him then your mouth can. And you can go faster with your hand then you can with your mouth. And since most times you aren't putting his whole penis in your mouth, the hand is going to cover and stroke the part that isn't in your mouth. You can try something like sucking (or licking) the head while you stroke his shaft faster and faster. You can try gently stroking his balls too. Some guys really really respond to that. If you are doing things like touching his thighs with your free hand, stop. That feeling is distracting from the feeling in his groin and because you want him to cum, you want as much feeling focused on the specific area.

    Hope it helps. :)


What Guys Said 29

  • I can assure you, you did nothing wrong, and while I can't speak for him, I can tell you from my own experience that while I do enjoy it if a girl goes down on me I rarely ever cum. Why? because I'm worried about cumming in her mouth and that she might not like my taste or that she is just going down on me because she thinks that what I want. I'm not a selfish lover at all and I like her to enjoy sex and sex play as much as I do, so he may have been worried about some of those things too. Also I'm not very verbal during sex, the reason being is before I was actually with a woman I spend a fair amount of time taking care of myself, and I didn't want my parents to know what I was doing, so I learned to be very quiet (stealth sex) ;-) so even though I live under my own roof and I'm happliy married I still tend to be rather quiet during sex, which is no indication of lack of pleasure at all.

  • I don't think you did anything wrong. I know of some girls that can't come no matter how much a guy uses penetration alone for example but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good or that you didn't do something right.

    For me what I do with my girl (time allowing) is I try to figure out where her climax point is, now if we can assume that point to be 100% then I try to bring her to 90% and sustain that level for as long as she wants. Girls and guys differ in such that when a guy cums the party's over. A girl can come multiple times, sometimes overlapping where the next one is about to hit just when the previous hasn't completely finished. I let my girl determine the tempo, when she's touching my head softly I keep to the original plan of bringing her as close to the edge as possible without going over. If she tugs on my head or pulls me harder then I know that's the queue to finish her off then go back to the 90% plan.

    Try having him alter his position, if he was sitting or lying down have him stand up or vice versa. Believe me it'll help you as much as it'll help him in terms of comfort. Otherwise switch off, break the 1hour session into 2 or 3. Having him go down on you and rest up, switch it up again as you see fit. My girl likes to have a piece of candy something like a Jolly Rancher, it allows her mouth to avoid some of the issues of doing something too long.

    • You could make that a bit more interesting with something like Listerine strips or mints. Things that would have sensations to them.

  • Hey, I'll give you a few tips.

    1. First you need to get him turned on - be more aggressive, grab his stuff, slowly massage his balls through his pants, it's important that you act as seductive as possible - the more you're turned on - the more he'll be turned on. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on.

    2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just put his middle finger slowly into your mouth and suck on it, up and down, slide it slowly and moan - you have to moan a lot so he feels like a king.

    3. As you're licking one finger, slowly start stroking his shaft (penis) with your other hand, you have to be on your knees and he should be standing, look him in the eyes - this way you can see his reactions. You need to love giving him head if you want him to really enjoy it.

    4. Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head (the tip) of his penis, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him.

    5. Say something like "mmmmm I love it" then smile, smiling is very important - it conveys that you love it. Keep on stroking and sucking harder.

    6. Start talking dirty to him, put your hands around his balls and tickle them gently - make sure you are gentle 'cause his balls are very sensitive, as you're tickling, keep on stroking and sucking.

    7. Once you see that he's getting closer start stroking harder - and don't even think about slowing down. Scream at him, tell him you want it - tell him where you want it (swallowing will make him go crazy just as you want it) - then as he starts to come, you have 2 options - you can hold his penis or he can hold it - I suggest you let him hold it and squeeze it out.

    8. Then hold his penis and stroke it slowly, just as if you were trying to squeeze every last drop out of him into your mouth, give it a few more finishing licks.

    9. Then smile at him, open your mouth and show him what you've got in your mouth, smile, then swallow all of it - then look up at him again and open your mouth to show him it's gone.

    10. Smile again, believe me he'll love you for it.

    You can learn more here ---> link

  • Oral doesn't always make me come either, its probably a speed thing or at times its just the way of it... I've had the problem once before, it wasn't that I wasn't into it or anything my body just didn't want to go...

  • Well don't feel bad because I am sure he enjoyed it if he cares about you if that's true there's just no way he isn't happy and a little thankful his penis ended up between your lips. As good as a blowjob feels its a somewhat more subtle sensation some guys can't come at all from them, it takes me a while so usually its just a warm up and of course I return the favor. I can masturbate myself in like three minutes but that does NOT mean I prefer it to a blowjob

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What Girls Said 19

  • I would try using your hands and your mouth at the same time, beating the shaft and licking sucking and doing different thongs with the head. makes em pop every time. also ask one word questions during like 'faster?'

  • Good for you that you are so dedicated. I hope you are enjoying it too.

    Unless one is really doing it badly (teeth, scraping, stopping etc.) then it is pretty much a case of the guy's problem if a blow job takes that long. OR if you are like me and you purposely make it last longer because you love doing it and you also want to make it last for him.

  • its hard to get that perfect spot and motion for a guy to come...once you find it tough, bingo! Have him show you a little next time, and have him tell you when he is getting closer.

  • damn an hur. I gave my ex a head in the first 5 mints he come lmfao.

  • hahaha NO sometimes guys come from, oral sometimes not,some cannot at all,You just go and have sex after oral,and that's it...you did nothing wrong XD

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