How do you know when you're ready for sex?

[exxsarah-3856]

I've always been quite frightened by the prospect of sex. I could never imagine myself actually being in that position (pun not intended. But anyway) I think I have sexual feelings towards someone. When I see him I'm just completely turned on. Those broad shoulders, big manly figure. And most of all, the protective hugs. Of course I've known him a while and we've had deep conversations, gone to town together, compliments, more hugs :) So I do really like him - He's 17 and I'm 16 if that makes a difference. Also, he's had a lot more experience, and confided in me that he wasn't a virgin. Thing is, I've never had any kind of sexual experience with anyone. I've never really had a boyfriend and I'm not the kind to just "go on the pull" because relationships mean a lot more to me than just one night kinda things. Well my question is, how do you know when you're ready for that kind of relationship? Do you think I'm just lusting for something that I'm not ready for? All opinions are welcomed, and if you've personally been in this situation then sharing would be nice. :)

[archer86]

There should be nothing frightening about sex. It has no similarities to anything illegal such as drugs or stealing. You won't die from it nor will anything hideous happen such as mutations or whatever. To have sexual desires for someone is ok because sex is not a bad thing no matter what your parents, pastors, teachers or media portrays it to be. The reason why you feel apprehensive about sex is the inexperience(virginity) and the feeling of guilt because, "God Is Watching".

Try and separate sex from the "One-Night-Stand" mentality, this will not apply to you with your boyfriend because of the bond you have already created with him. Even if you did not have this bf, sex is still good, better than someone being mean to you or worse. The type of relationship also determines the level of meaning to a relationship, such as friends but have sex on the side, quest for marriage or the occasional need to just breed(sex). Your passion to be with a man is not sin nor it is wrong, it is the natural attraction to beautiful people and the natural primal urge to breed. All creatures have primal urge to feed, rest, find shelter and breed. You mentioned, ". Those broad shoulders, big manly figure. " which means our boyfriend is no average looking joe. No surprise that you want him.

From a man's point of view, I was ready for sex when I was 13. Chasing women for the booty was my goal even back then. I may not have known much but damned if I wasn't trying! I combined lusting with the quest for a girlfriend because should a one-nighter happen, I would want more with her. Why stop a good thing?

If you are already in a deep relationship with him, it's ok to have sex. The fact that you are 16 year old virgin with first time boyfriend means you have been very selective with your men. But take my honest word for this: If you do finally do the naughty, you will be mad as all living hell that you waited so long for such a wonderful pleasure. I was.

Oh boy, this is going to cause a wildfire here!

[Suave-Man]

Okay well you know you're ready for sex when you look down at your left hand and there's a ring on your ring finger (next to the pinky). Hey, that's what I'm doing, waiting 'til marriage and you should too. On the lusting thing, lusting is a product of liking someone aka it comes with the territory. When guys say "I like this girl" it means not only that they like their personality but they like the way they look too. Lust is all guys have to go on at first when just seeing a girl we don't know, the personality part comes later. Without the lust factor many guys wouldn't take those risks just to talk to someone. My advice on a relationship is if you like the guy then go for it, and you should be more concerned with kissing and how making out works before you talk about sex. One step at a time, but wait until you get married before you have sex. Save yourself for the man of your dreams :)

[EmilytheNukeE]

I was one of the last of the group of girls I hung out with to lose my virginity. I waited until I felt right about having sex (which was actually a personal decision, rather than because the guy was "the one" - he wasn't, and I knew it). That said, sexual feelings don't have to mean SEX. There is SO MUCH you can do beyond sex. I actually preferred that, because I got a lot more out of it - foreplay is much better than sex for me, and it sometimes gets lost when the guy gets focused on intercourse.

If he respects you, he'll let you come to actual intercourse on your own. Also, I'm still kind of old-fashioned, evidently, because I also knew I wanted to wait until graduating high school to seriously think about it. Not from any personal hangups, but because sex has risks - disease, pregnancy, etc. And I wasn't ready at that time to deal with those if they happened. After graduating high school, I knew that I could at least get a job, and that the guy could. I saw too many teenage pregnancies in middle (yes, middle) and high school to want to be in that position myself.

So please, don't feel like it's something you have to do, or that it's the only way to have sexual contact. Like I said, there's all kinds of fun you can have without actual sex.

[vmgl1]

I responded to a similar question a month or so ago with this.

My fiance and I knew each other about a month when we had sex for the first time. I myself was also a virgin, but he was not. We were fooling around one night, with no intention of having sex (at least in my mind, he might have had different thoughts) and it just happened. I had always said I wanted to be in a relationship for a while before doing it but when it happened it just seemed right. I was always very self-conscious but it was different with him. I just knew that night that it was right and that I wanted it to be with him.

If you have that feeling with him and feel like it is right, then it might be, but if you are second thoughts then I wouldn't do it. I hope this helped. Good luck.

[RFRFRF]

Well it sounds like ur not ready, and if ur not don't do it till you feel ready. Well yeah you're lusting. Sometimes when we find something new to our life or new experience we tend to loose a little control to it. But if you not ready don't do it. You seem like the kinda girl where I would say make sure you trust him really good and make him wait longer. And if he breaks up with you because you make him wait then that shows a lot ya know. But let him know you're not ready and when you will let him know, so he feels like you not just playing with him. Good>?

[little-tarzan2004]

Really you can't tell if you are ready for sex. I'm waiting till I turn 18 before I have sex.

[Anonymous]

When you are ready for sex you can feel it your heart will be racing and then you will find out if you are ready for sex.

[Da-One-n-Only-]

If you don't feel nothing then it's just not there huh?