Why is virginity so important?

[Dela1111]

I admit I do put a lot of worth to girls that haven't given themselves up sexually as opposed to girls that give it out as easy as a kiss. This value on a girls virginity has gone back thousands of years and still persists today. What is your thought on it? Do you think it is a symbol of her morals, or do you think its outdated and women should be able to spread their legs to as many guys as they want without being judged? If you do think its important, why. If you don't think its important, what would you say to those girls that are "saving themselves." That virginity isn't important what so ever and they aren't women unless they go have sex?

[setcheck67]

Well I wouldn't put so much an emphasis on women so much as people as a whole. Take a look at a chart for sexual activity and a chart for permanent stds. THEY ARE ALMOST THE EXACT SAME GRAPH. People not just women should know better then to succumb to animal urges. Keeping a virginity is important for both sexes, because they haven't had the chance to get addicted to sex. Sex is as said as addictive as drugs, porn, and everything else. Just like ALL addictions sex has HUGE risks with every time you have it. (don't give me your uneducated "I can have safe sex just fine.") Condoms are useless to three of the worst stds there are. (Some bad news mates you can wear two condoms and f*** an aids person and you are JUST as likely to catch aids. The reason being is viruses(you know those little buggers that are 10,000 times smaller then bacteria and can lay dormant waiting for a host for a 1,000 years) GO STRAIGHT THROUGH CONDOMS. Condoms have pores in them and these pores are small enough to deflect sperm and MOST bacteria, but not viruses (despite that some manufacturing errors can create pores big enough for both to go through). That means that HIV, herpes, hepatitis, and genital warts which can torture you for all eternity (not so much genital warts) have no safe sex. There is no way to NOT infect yourself if you have sex with someone infected. Learn from the hippees (you know those guys everyone loved that 95% of them died horrible, painful, std related deaths.) and don't f***ing breed like farm animals.

AT MOST I would say 3 people a YEAR is proper, but anyone that goes beyond that is just a retarded whore (both male and female). Being a virgin is also very respectable, because it means that person didn't let there urges control them.

Oh yea I should mention I won't marry a women who has had sex with more then three men in her life(only because I have had sex 3 times. If I were a virgin I would expect the SAME standard). Paying some woman to just give birth to a child by artificial insemination sounds like a better investment. You're just a guy that wants to shove his **** up some fresh virgin meat.

[Littletad]

I believe it's a symbol of many things, not just moralistic viewpoints. We always tend to think of women when the v word comes up, and not men entirely. That's one of the problems.

Our culture will always be judgmental, and there's not much we can do about that. But regardless of whatever any skeptic says, I believe virginity to be a precious thing, and something that should be considered sacred and respected. Not tarnished and ridiculed.

[Dela1111]

I agee

[Anonymous]

I waited until I found the man I plan to marry. It was important to me because sex is important to me. Not just as an act, but as a communication of the love I feel for him. If I were to share something so...sacred...with any guy that I date, doesn't that diminish the value of what I give to the man I want to spend forever with? Doesn't it make it just that much less special? I love him so much that I wanted to be faithful to him...even before I met him. I love sex with him, and I'm so glad that I don't have memories of other men clouding my memories. He is the first for everything. I don't compare what he does with what some guy before him did. I have no idea what the "ideal size" is; he's the only one I know and he's perfect for me. And even though our lovemaking has different moods (playful, passionate, deep and spiritual) it is always about how we feel for each other. Seeing how we bond sexually, I can't imagine having shared that and risked so much of my heart with someone else. And I certainly would never take the risk of getting pregnant with a lesser man and having him be the father of my child. I have never once regretted not sleeping with someone else. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I'd been with 8 other guys before I found him. This is a part of myself that I have given only to him. I don't want to ever cheapen the value of that gift. Just recently, I heard someone (was it on this site?) ask how most women would feel about getting an engagement ring that was worn by another woman before--and that's just a ring! If sex is just a fun thing that 2 people do, then that is all it is or can be when I do it with the one I love. But if it is to be something more, then I have to treat it as such. And I do.

[Dela1111]

Good job, I'm sure many girls and women are envious of you.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, thank you, but I don't know about that (the envy thing). (If you've seen this site, then you know there are a lot of promiscuous young women out there.) It comes down to your personal values, I guess. All I know is that it works for me...and him!

[Dela1111]

Well just think about it this way, how many girls get up in arms if a guy says he would prefer a virgin. If they weren't jealous to the point of calling virginity stupid and outdated, then they wouldn't be jealous.

[CuriousChick]

Two things to bear in mind:

1) For a girl, losing your virginity can be physically painful. That's enough of a reason to be selective about the person with whom you lose it - you want somebody who will literally respect your body, be gentle, etc.

2) I think both men and women underestimate the feelings that simply naturally happen when we have sex with somebody. Being naked with somebody for the first time when we live in a society where we're clothed most of the time, experiencing intense physical closeness and pleasure with another person, is bound to trigger attachment. The stereotype is that men use women for physical pleasure and women get hurt, but I've seen men react like stereotypical hurt women when the roles are reversed. As we get older and more experienced, we learn how to distinguish the physical closeness from emotional closeness, but when we're young, we haven't necessarily learned to do that.

For both of these reasons, I do think it's important that people maintain virginity to a point at which they find a partner who is caring, and at which point they are ready to handle the ensuing emotions that can happen with sex. Some may need to wait longer to feel comfortable with it, and/or need certain validations (e.g. love, relationship, marriage) others may not need a long time or may not need relationship labels. Regardless of how long the wait, I don't see people who maintain virginity for some time as morally superior, but rather, simply being smart about taking care of their physical and emotional well-being.

[Dela1111]

Great answer.

[Legarscurieux972]

Yes. And I think that girls doing porno young is unhealthy and not well-seen for gays who aren't perverts.

[Anonymous]

"Women should be able to spread their legs to as many guys as they want"

"They aren't women unless they go have sex"

"Girls that give it out as easily as a kiss"

(Ok, so clearly I'm a whore if I believe women shouldn't be called whores just for not being virgins, and if I don't like double standards, you'll call me bad names, which makes me wrong. There's a middle ground, too, which I hope you've realized.)

I like virginity. I think it gives sex more value than just giving someone/having an orgasm when you make sure you're in love first. I think it would be better for the relationship if both people had the same level of experience, however. (Anecdote time) I was a virgin when I started going out with my boyfriend and he wasn't; I feel like I'm being judged, like I'm boring him, and I know for a fact he's come close to cheating a few times. Things are just too uneven between us. It meant a lot to me, and as time goes on, I'm realizing he's never going to see it the same way. Hence, the hurtful part of double standards, only perpetuated by the fact that men are expected to lose it as soon as possible, and expected to seek out as much sex as possible.

[OutOfMyElement43]

When I was young, I had it my head that I would only marry a virgin. I just couldn't bear the thought of being with a woman the rest of my life knowing she had been with another man. It had less to do her morals than my desire to know that my wife had never been with another man. That's a control issue; I guess.

Now, I wouldn't consider marrying a virgin. I don't need someone that needs training. I like sex too much to have to endure a lot of bad sex with no guarantee it's going to get better. The number of partners a girl has had is the wrong yardstick by which to judge her morality.

Guy and gals should be careful whom they choose to have sex with. One night of carelessness can be a death sentence.

[Dela1111]

If anything you should marry the person for who they are not whether they're a virgin or not.

[Ironpanther12]

I think it's important. It's the first time sharing a magical feeling with someone you love. There will never be another first time. However today's society has made it less magical. All these weird fetishes, mindless sex, and prostitution makes sex a very unmagical thing in today's society. So in conclusion it SHOULD be important but popular sex culture has made it into something that shouldn't be considered important. Heck sex has become downright disgusting in many cases. So in conclusion I'd say it is and it isn't in ways...

[armyant]

In before "patriarchy rahh rahh rahh!".

Any minute now, like clockwork.

[Dela1111]

Of course.

[-smilewhore]

I don't htink its that big of a deal these days. but that doesn't mean you should give it to anyone. as long as you care for them its ok. saving it for your husband or wife is ok. and I'm sure it would make them feel special, but that's not something I would do. I find it unsafe. I think that verginity symbols should go both ways. men are saposed to lose it where girls keep it. I think that either it should be girls get to sleep with people without being called a skank. or if a man sleeps with more then 2 people he's called a slut too.

[Dela1111]

I've called a guy no better than a horny dog, is that good enough?

[-smilewhore]

Haha yes. I am seeing more and more that guys can't sleep around. I just think that people should save sex for some one special and then only do things with that special person. its sad when people just f*** around with people they don't care about. and yesthen they are horn dogs :P

[HaleyElizabeth]

I think a woman should wait until they are married to have sex. A lot of girls(and guys), including me, save themselves for marriage because that's what it says in the Bible. That's what God wants us to do. While others do it because it makes the first time more special because you know that person will never leave you. I think that when girls lose their virginity they are usually looked at as hoes, while when I guy loses his virginity, he is cheered on by his friends and peers.

Although I don't think it is right to lose your virginity before marriage, I do not judge people that do. its their decision that they made themselves. And I think no matter what a woman does (if she saves herself or doesn't) someone is always going to judge her. but in the end its all your decision that matters. But, my decision is to wait and I really do not care what other people think about this.

[mskhrd27]

Why would someone NOT agree with your statement. you CLEARLY said that it is up to the person. obviously that person has no control over their life decisions. I also agree with your personal opinion. (yea... I got ur back haley) lol =)

[HaleyElizabeth]

Thanks :)

[Samirayusif1992]

you are such a pure man <3 i am waiting 2 and wished more men were liked u :)

[likeomgxitsmandi]

I think it depends. If you want to have sex, I say go for it. But I personally believe to wait until you're in love or you love someone. I don't necessarily believe in waiting before marriage, because that's far.. far away. But, I do respect people more often if they are waiting. It shows patience & purity. :)

[Abhishek_Barman025]

I'll just speak for myself. I believe that its very important. It may not be a good symbol of a persons nature but it is a symbol of morals, principles, mental-emotional-spiritual strength. it is a very personal thing which can't be explained. And from the knowledge i have gathered by talking to a loot of people is that one always remembers the first one no matter what and that memory never fades away. i know people (men and women) who are in their 3rd or so relationship but they think of their first from time to time.

I recently dated a girl, she was a nice person, but she wasn't a virgin. Virginity was a must criteria for me, but i really started to like her, to say i loved her. so i decided to take some time and change my mind so i can accept her. For 4-5 months after that i forced myself to just accept her, but it hurt so bad. i had to quit. after 10 months of meeting her it ended. i was torn apart & i still can't sleep because of the thoughts and feelings of it.
I just couldn't bear the thought that she has given that special place in her heart and mind to some one, while i was still waiting. Even if I did accept her i'll know that there is someone else in her mind & heart in i way that she will never let me in. Virginity is not just a physiological aspect, it has a loot to do with love, relationship, self control, unselfishness (as it is not easy to suppress your urges & wait for one person), faith, her relation with her family and lot more. it can't be expressed in words. Those of you who know what i'm talking about have got the idea of what i'm saying and the rest will not understand, that's ok everyone is different.

Unfortunately our world is misguiding all of us. Sex is treated as a commodity or a tool by advertisments, novels, movies, music. I personally believe the playing field should be leveled for both males and females.

[Samirayusif1992]

<3 i hope you find your Virgin girl, you actually feel the same as i do. I Think virginity is so important 2 and i can't be with someone that is a Virgin. Well ii guess i will never marrying in that casee :(

[Samirayusif1992]

i can't be with someone that is not a Virgin i meant

[jetlag]

I lost mine when i was 15, to a girl who had already lost hers when she was 14 to a man in his 20s. That honestly made loving her hurt. I feel dirty and vile for being with her as now I can never lose it /with/ anyone, and I also only ever wanted to sleep with one girl. That relationship was a very painful one, and now I'm closer to an amazing girl. She treats me well and I love her. She's not a virgin, and this again makes loving her hurt. I love her enough to fight it, but if she was a virgin I know the pain wouldn't be there.

Also, I've been with one other girl sexually. Not sex, but oral. And the fact she was a virgin actually made it more emotionally satisfying and exciting for me.

Virginity makes your lover feel special and cherished more than anything else can. Losing it to the wrong person makes me hate myself.

[Anonymous]

Men from the US care a lot more about virginity than men in most other first-world countries. I feel bad for women from the US because there are so many things that are expected of them in a relationship that are not about them. It seems like many guys care more about things like virginity, and whether or not a p**** is shaved or trimmed, and whether a girl is willing to do certain sexual acts, and whether her family is "nice" than the girl's personality. Girls are dismissed and disrespected by many guys if they don't fit all the criteria. I have seen your posts and they always strike me as this way. You often go on about girls' virginity. Such a fixation seems a bit strange. Also, I wonder where your morals are if you think it is OK to sleep with girls and send them on their way, less "virgin-esque" to be looked down on by other guys like you. If you think girls who are not virgins are less worthy of respect, then I would be interested to know whether you think the guys who sleep with them are also less worthy of respect.

I just don't understand your attitude.

[Opinion Owner]

I forgot to add that from a practical standpoint, it is pretty unreasonable to expect women to remain virgins until marriage at a time when most people are not getting married until much later in life. People don't finish in school until much later. Many people don't get into serious relationships until much later than earlier generations, no matter how much they want to. I don't think it is realistic to expect women or men to wait until marriage/a committed relationship to have sex.

[Dela1111]

Firstly I don't know how many counties you 've been to, but it is important in most of the rest of the world, even more so in the middle east and southeast asia (china, japan, etc). Men don't put virginity on the same level as a shaved ***** but to some it is important, as much as her having a good family. Guys that sleep around with a bunch of girls are dogs just like sluts. Understand now?

[Dela1111]

I feel bad for your standards if you think its not realistic to at least wait for a committed relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

This discussion is not about my standards. I have traveled widely and have lived/worked in most English-speaking countries + many countries in Europe. I specifically mentioned first-world country standards, where the cultures are similar to US culture. As a woman with many female friends I can tell you that you get just as dumped by many US guys for not shaving your p**** and having the misfortune to have a bad family as for not being a virgin. I can't see many women waiting until their mid-20s!

[Opinion Owner]

By the way, regarding waiting for a committed relationship. You must come from either a rich background or a poor one because most women I know are way too busy getting established in their careers or finishing their education to have a healthy committed relationship. Even if they wanted to get married younger, men aren't. You need to realize that whatever your "morals" are, it simply is not practical to expect people to wait until their mid twenties for sex. You are not living in real world.

[Dela1111]

Anyone with half a brain understands that Europe is as liberal as San francisco, so using that as a standard is useless. Japan the second richest country in the world covets virginity, does that mean they're backward or not first world? I'm from a middle class family fyi, lol. If you're too busy to have a relationship, you should be too busy for risky sexual relations. Since when were sex and committed relationships completely separate?

[Opinion Owner]

The problem here is that you are talking about how you think things should be. I am not saying how I think things should be; I am talking about how they are. That is not a criticism of you by the way. Some people are happier when they are not facing harsh reality! My point is that it is messed up to judge girls who are not virgins. Relationships go bad, people get dumped, and then they are not virgins any more! Society does not make it easy to get married early. This is the reality.

[Opinion Owner]

PS--the US is not Japan. The cultures are entirely different. I respect Japanese society--I even lived there for a time--but I sure would not want to Japanese. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are confusing your views on women's sexual habits with politics. You need to think this thing through. I would love to have gotten married very young and lived a fairytale life with my husband; many people would feel the same way. But this is not how life happens. People have other qualities!

[Dela1111]

Hahaha, of course I'm saying things of how they should be and it IS realistic since even in the US and Europe people can live up to these ideals. My views towards politics are the same as my social beliefs (conservative obviously). Its called personal responsibility. People face consequences for their actions.

[Opinion Owner]

I still do not get it. If a male or female, is in a serious relationship suggests marriage before having sex, then it is unlikely that relationship is going to last long. Even if the person waits, there is a possibility that the marriage will end in divorce. I don't get your comment about personal responsibility. How is choosing to have sex in a way that is safe being irresponsible? Are you married? I would hope so if you have had sex. There is more to people than sex. You are obsessed.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm done with this conversation. You are not logical + you seem to be advocating medieval attitudes towards women. Again, if you have ever had sex and not married the girl, then you are are hypocrite. If you think it is realistic financially or socially to wait until marriage, which happens pretty late, then I apologize for calling you a hypocrite because you must be a virgin! You are demonizing women for being dumped, divorced, and living at a time when sex is a required part of a relationship.

[Dela1111]

So I see where your beliefs come from. You believe that a guy won't stay with the girl unless she has sex, correct? That is very sad, and does having sex make a relationship will last, lol absolutely not. It is common knowledge that when a girl has sex for the first time with a boyfriend that relationship usually ends shortly afterwards. Sex is not required and I feel bad that you feel that way.

[Anonymous]

It isn't.