What does it mean if a guy puts your hand on his.....

If you kiss a girl and then move your hands around her body then put her hand on you penis {Very gently - not like forcing it}. Does this mean you want her to just experiment? Do you want a hand job? Is it a way of asking of it is OK to have sex? Would you ever do it as a reflex response, without thinking?

I am worried like that guy said - it was rude. He did it in a very gentle way, so I was not feeling physically pressured... But I would not want him to assume I'm fine for anything... We have kissed. We never had THAT interaction . Thoughts help- Thanks
Would any of you expect someone that you respected to do something that soon ? Would you even try that with someone you respected?

Why would he not be concerned with my impression ... I suppose he may not know I have never had sex... Seems forward.
What I want to know is if you guys think this is disrespectful... We spend lots of time together but he usually seems careful NOT to touch me. Maybe I gave him an impression I did not intend. It is just strange - I wonder if he thinks / feels differently?
Oh! I forgot , it was on top of his jeans - if that makes a difference...
For the guy who said it is disrespectful - I do not necessarily disagree... Does that mean you ask if you can place your hands where you wish to put them ?

Everyone, feedback would be great, as this is someone I would otherwise like. Thank You.
I know I can figure things out on my own, but I am asking for other perspectives... Do you think it is disrespectful for a guy to put your hand on his crotch if you guys had known each other for a while but had not been physical since a 9 months ago?
Ok. complicated, going to sound supremely stupid but he had just offered to have sex - because he thought I wanted it, he misinterpreted my meaning. I did not respond because I thought he was joking, so when we were kissing, he might have thought...
Someone wrote that nine months is a long time to wait... Sorry for the confusion. Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel...Then we just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff... BTW -answer helped.!
SkinnerOne.Well, I don't think obsessed ... I want to make sure I do not blow the wrong things out of proportion. I have a lot of curiosity and little experience. I would rather stress out about it before hand {Pun not intended}

SkinnerOne I was not raised with a particular religion or faith... I have always believed in humanity and justice. It is very important for me to do things based on reason, and I am careful to about respect- both giving and receiving - even a HJ


Most Helpful Girl

  • Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel...Then we just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff...

    I've been in that boat. If you know he respects you, and he has never pressured you, that's like a primal "I miss you, I want you, do you feel that way?". He's not pressuring you- don't think. He's just expressing how he feels.

    My boyfriend (long-distance) did that to me once, after we hadn't seen each other in a while and we were making out and both feeling pretty close/sexual. We'd never done anything, really. I just kind of froze, and pulled back, and looked at him like "Seriously- dude? What the heck?" and he said all flustered "Sorry, I just- wanted you to know that I want you. Not right now, not anytime soon, whenever you want, I don't care. But I think you're so sexy, and you turn me on, and I wanted to see if you thought the same thing. So every time you wonder if you're sexy- know that you made THAT for a reason".

    But that might just be me. And the fact that my boyfriend is exceptional from every other guy I know.

    But bring it up! He's TRYING to be more open with you. Talk about it, calmly and maturely. See what's going on inside his head first.

    • Thank you.

      That s exactly what I needed someone ti say - it resonates more than anything else & I have no reason to think otherwise... "Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel... just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff..."

      >>>Umm did you quote that from me, or is that you because that was exactly my situation.. Anyways thank you.

      btw Did you guys have sex that day? I was just worried he would take it the wrong way - I'm a virgin.


    • Show All
    • That is awesome... Ok. That is as close as anyone has come to my situation... lol Experience works so much better than just advice ... Thank you I really feel much better.

      btw, Um what did you do after he said that - I mean not exactly what you did lol... But were you more comfortable with what he said & did you us stop & talk about it or just continue?

      You may have already answered that - I'm not sure :-)


    • Oh, haha. Well, after that it was obviously a little awkward, so I kind of pulled away. But he just hugged me, and said "Well, it's true" and after turning deeply red, I said thank you and he laughed. But I just pulled back and said "But you're not getting that."

      "I know"

      "Smart boy!"

      Then just cuddling and watching a cheesy movie,lols. We always talk about EVERYTHING, even the awkward.

      But he hasn't done it since. Now I'm just comfortable with him. I feel like I'm in control, not him.

What Guys Said 25

  • Its a horny cry for a helping hand. although he'd love a mouth even more or another opening. He hopes you will at least take his poor penis in its erect state out of those annoying pants, besides that little guy is trying to jump out and grab you on his own. Its not really a reflex its more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking. This isn't a great move on his part unless you liked it. I think he hoped his foreplay would warm you up enough to do that on your own. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience. I think he worries whether or not you find him sexually attractive If you don't want to do anything sexual with this guy you are going to have to politely end this couch party. If this is the case you should ask yourself how did you end up in this situation with a guy you didn't want to do anything with sexually to begin with. I am on no way making excuses for anyone that does anything coercive just saying for men sex is like a train the breaks are hard to put on the train wants to keep going, hornyness is a crazy crazy feeling

    • Isn't a desire that is so strong, that there is no thinking " the same as a reflex-- when you do something without thinking - though I do like the way you put it much better... It's ore colorful.

      Guys are funny... I totally like him, I think he knows that..We had a misunderstanding.. He thought I WANTED to have sex, so he said that we SHOULD not ,cause it changes things etc {he was not ACTING like that, but I think he was trying hard to not give I to desire- which why I was shocked when he...

    • Show All
    • "It's not a reflex. It's more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking about it." {What is the difference?} 2. This isn't a great move on his part , unless you liked it." {What do you mean - You mean because he could have offended me?} 3. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience" {You mean cause he did not wait for me to do it , or he did not think I would?} 4. He worries you don't find him sexually attractive" {What would give him that impression?}

      -Your answer was interesting

    • You sai something about the impatience being a sign of him worrying about me finding him sexually attractive - could you explain.. Cause I do agree it was a but of impatience tho, not desperation... Maybe overly 'enthusiastic' - for me, at that particular time. th ething about having to talk to him.. We DID just talk about it & decided to go anywhere beyond kissing, so that is why I am confused - he did NOT WANT any sexual contact... HE said he was worried 'things would change' . {Why?}

  • I'll go with yes. That's my final answer.

  • No I wouldn't ask. If you want your hands on my junk they'll find their way there. I don't need to ask you anything. It's no less disrespectful to ask. It's like asking a bear not to eat you. It's just silly.

    • Hi. Ok, first you said it is no big deal. Then you said it was rude. Now you are comparing your junk to a bear??

      I was hoping to see it as no big deal. I was worried it was disrespectful. You are saying that it is equally rude to ask as touch. Does that mean you never touch, and that you would find the person you were with to be rude if they did? If no one can touch or ask, what is it exactly, that is suppose to happen?


    • I'm a little weary of this. You can figure things out on your own I'm sure.

  • Yes it is disrespectful. If you wanted to touch his penis I'm sure you'd find a way to see to that.

  • It's basically saying, hey, this is my penis. He'd really like some attention right now. No biggie if you aren't interested, but if you are, well that would be so cool. No pressure though... so here it is. There you are! What's gonna happen!

    • I was just looking at this , and its funny cause your first answer was like right on - center...... Then you went in a totally opposite direction.... Just funny how you made so much sense in the beginning when you just reacted without thinking too much about it..... Then you became increasingly antagonistic towards your own initial view. {I'm not writing this to irritate you, or to provoke a response ....... I honestly thought your first answer was great, & it was interesting how it changed.}

    • Yeah it really is interesting isn't it! Totally fascinating. Moods change -- who knew it!

More from Guys

What Girls Said 20

  • i don't think its disrespectful..i think he just wants you to feel his penis..and doesn't mean he wants a handjob or anything..

    • I love your answer... It's like so human and simply , and it does not require anynoe involved get a background check or fingerprinted - Thanks!

    • Your welcome! and lol a background check that's really stupid..just becuz he wanted you too feel his penis..sometimes people get extra touchy feely..no disrespect what so ever..

  • what do you think he wants you to think? I think it's a pretty obvious answer...

    • Sadly, I do not think it is obvious.....Apparently oit could be a whole host of conflicting things.. I do not think anything is that simple.......To be fair I gave this fairly out of context , so I cannot expect a specific answer for a general question... But is still think even generally, the answer could be varied - what do you think?

      {Just wanted peoples opinions anyway.... I'm new at this- Like REAlLY new......... Not to overstate the obvious}

  • well I think it is a way of telling you he was turned on and he wanted to see if you were too, and if so, he would probably expect you to put your hands down there, initiating a handjob.

    • What if I was turned on - but not in the 'hand job giving kind of away' ? { Plus I've never given one before} How would I maneuver out of that without offending him? Or , making him think I was offended by his move?

      It's not strange, right ? - I mean, if we were already making out, it is pretty normal?

  • This question is pretty old, but I want to throw my thoughts in. I HATE it when guys do that. I don't know what it is, but it drives me crazy and often turns me off when they do it. And the funny thing is I even like guys taking control sometimes, either taking complete control or giving it all to me, I rarely like an equal playing field, but sometimes. Sorry, anyways, but I truly hate it when they do that. There have been times that I've shut down the play because of it.

    • I agree. There is something that turns me off about it too.

      - I think it would make me feel used. Like a lot of guys have said,let her find it herself.

      -I wonder if guys think it is a turn on, or the just don't care?

      Why do you HATE it?

  • He just wants you to touch his penis, through his pants, rub it, caress it, like for sexual tension. Its not a big deal, its like when you want a guy to touch your nipples through your shirt while making out. Its not a BJ or a HJ like everyone else suggested. Its just to get things steaming.

    • Thank you.

      I think it's great someone can answer without turning it into a moral issue.. I can do that well enough on my own....lol.

      I hate to ruin the simple nature of your response, but if things get steaming, what are they getting steaming for? I mean I don't mind doing that thru clothing, but would that cause him assume that I was ok with going further after that... Or what if he got really aroused, then really wanted sex, then I'd have to stop that would be awkward. I don't want sex now.

More from Girls