What does it mean if a guy puts your hand on his.....

[Anonymous]

If you kiss a girl and then move your hands around her body then put her hand on you penis {Very gently - not like forcing it}. Does this mean you want her to just experiment? Do you want a hand job? Is it a way of asking of it is OK to have sex? Would you ever do it as a reflex response, without thinking?

[hawkgirl6]

Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel...Then we just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff...

I've been in that boat. If you know he respects you, and he has never pressured you, that's like a primal "I miss you, I want you, do you feel that way?". He's not pressuring you- don't think. He's just expressing how he feels.

My boyfriend (long-distance) did that to me once, after we hadn't seen each other in a while and we were making out and both feeling pretty close/sexual. We'd never done anything, really. I just kind of froze, and pulled back, and looked at him like "Seriously- dude? What the heck?" and he said all flustered "Sorry, I just- wanted you to know that I want you. Not right now, not anytime soon, whenever you want, I don't care. But I think you're so sexy, and you turn me on, and I wanted to see if you thought the same thing. So every time you wonder if you're sexy- know that you made THAT for a reason".

But that might just be me. And the fact that my boyfriend is exceptional from every other guy I know.

But bring it up! He's TRYING to be more open with you. Talk about it, calmly and maturely. See what's going on inside his head first.

[Asker]

Thank you. That s exactly what I needed someone ti say - it resonates more than anything else & I have no reason to think otherwise... "Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel... just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff..." >>>Umm did you quote that from me, or is that you because that was exactly my situation.. Anyways thank you. btw Did you guys have sex that day? I was just worried he would take it the wrong way - I'm a virgin. :-)

[hawkgirl6]

Haha whoopies. I quoted you, yes. Should've made that clearer. But that EXACT thing happened to me. And no, we didn't. We've been dating for over a year, and I'm still a virgin. I don't want to have sex until I'm married (not pushing any religious views, I just don't want to). We just made out and cuddled and talked, ect. But that's because we talk about things a LOT.

[Asker]

That is awesome... Ok. That is as close as anyone has come to my situation... lol Experience works so much better than just advice ... Thank you I really feel much better. btw, Um what did you do after he said that - I mean not exactly what you did lol... But were you more comfortable with what he said & did you us stop & talk about it or just continue? You may have already answered that - I'm not sure :-) Thanks*

[hawkgirl6]

Oh, haha. Well, after that it was obviously a little awkward, so I kind of pulled away. But he just hugged me, and said "Well, it's true" and after turning deeply red, I said thank you and he laughed. But I just pulled back and said "But you're not getting that." "I know" "Smart boy!" Then just cuddling and watching a cheesy movie,lols. We always talk about EVERYTHING, even the awkward. But he hasn't done it since. Now I'm just comfortable with him. I feel like I'm in control, not him.

[Srija1234]

A girl should feel awesome as her guys is allowing her to get intimated... From my experience i felt... seriously i just tell... to though his pretty 😍😍😍😍

[babbyx13]

I definitely would not think that is disrespectful if he is your boyfriend but if not maybe he is going a little overboard. In my opinion I think that he wanted a little bit on a handjob and maybe even the start of sex. I have had that happen to me before and after my hand was on his penis for a while I unbuttoned his pants and gave him a hand job and he unbuttoned my pants and fingered me. But y best friend was in that same situation as you are in and her expirence ended with a simple handjob. So I just depend on the guy and I guess the mood he's in. Every expirence ends with a different solution.

[Asker]

This probably sounds weird, but I was worried about how I would feel doing it but also what he would think of me, eve tho he is the one who put my hand on his his pants.. The thing is I have been with him long ago, but h knew I was a virgin then& we went VERY slow. {Everyone flirts with me now, so he might think I am more experienced , I'm NOT} So I was shocked.. it's not like I don't trust him & I am not look for a relationship but I like him , not sure if it was morally ok. to help him?

[confusedgirl22]

hes just chancing his arm, seeing if you will actually give him a handjob/blowjob. but don't fall for it! Don't give him handjob/bj in this situation. its like some guy trying to have sex with you on the first date. eh yeah right...so not gona happen! I agree wit the guys who say he's disrespecting you-if you go ahead and do it, he will think you're easy/bit slutty afterwards and won't call you again! or just use you as booty call. sorry to be blunt bt I call it as I see it! =)

[Asker]

Hi.. Well yah I was a bit shocked at the time , so I just had an exit cause I was supposed to meet someone anyways... Are you really sure it is disrespectful - I mean maybe it bit bold, but I am nt sure he was disrespecting me.... I mean we spend lots of time together, we are not going out - I have too much going on right now-but he has liked me for a long time , and honestly, he thought I wanted to have sex- seriously he really misundestod, and he said he did not think that we should have sex

[Subotai]

Its a horny cry for a helping hand. although he'd love a mouth even more or another opening. He hopes you will at least take his poor penis in its erect state out of those annoying pants, besides that little guy is trying to jump out and grab you on his own. Its not really a reflex its more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking. This isn't a great move on his part unless you liked it. I think he hoped his foreplay would warm you up enough to do that on your own. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience. I think he worries whether or not you find him sexually attractive If you don't want to do anything sexual with this guy you are going to have to politely end this couch party. If this is the case you should ask yourself how did you end up in this situation with a guy you didn't want to do anything with sexually to begin with. I am on no way making excuses for anyone that does anything coercive just saying for men sex is like a train the breaks are hard to put on the train wants to keep going, hornyness is a crazy crazy feeling

[Asker]

Isn't a desire that is so strong, that there is no thinking " the same as a reflex-- when you do something without thinking - though I do like the way you put it much better... It's ore colorful. Guys are funny... I totally like him, I think he knows that..We had a misunderstanding.. He thought I WANTED to have sex, so he said that we SHOULD not ,cause it changes things etc {he was not ACTING like that, but I think he was trying hard to not give I to desire- which why I was shocked when he...

[Asker]

So... Do you think he was LYING when he said "We should not have sex" and was just SAYING that so - - well, WHY go thru all the trouble explaining how it was" not a good idea", with that intention. .. He thought ' I ' wanted it, why not just say OK - if that is what he wanted.. seemed quite worried about it {Why do you think he was WORRIED} Also , are you saying he wanted me to put my hand INSIDE, - I think he'd freak if I DID& if I didn't lol... Pretty confusing....What do you think?

[Subotai]

Ok if he puts your hand on his penis he wants you to touch it obviously. The thing about I don't think we should have sex is sort of a lie. Pretty much if you don't want to have sex he doesn't he's trying to be nice and he's not trying to appear to eager or pushy and look somewhat moral maybe score some romance points. If you just out of the blue pushed him down on the bed and unzipped his pants he'd go for it. He wants it if you want it. Its complicated.

[Asker]

I agree with you its complicated....But HE was the one who said 'we should NOT have sex'. This is why I am confused.....He thought I WANTED TO HAVE SEX {Misunderstanding} , seemed quite worried& concerned, and repeatedly said it was not a good idea- was that an ACT?... Why would he say NO if he thought I WANTED SEX & once he said NO, why would he put my hand on his boxers after? I did not state clearly, I did not want sex, 'cause I thought he did not want to have sex... What happened?

[Subotai]

Well its not like you touched him and he said no. He put your hand where he wanted it, he was trying to get your hand in the right direction. It was the heat of the moment what memory isn't warmer than cuddling on the couch when your girlfriend reaches over and puts your hands on your pants and slowly pulls it out and plays with it. That's clearly what he wanted. Or he's really conflicted with himself

[Asker]

Ok! Soooo, you are saying he WANTED me to play with it, or sex or anything that I would have ben ok with? I understand he did not say no after I MADE A MOVE, why would he say NO before HE DID. He really was quite ADAMANT about not wanting having sex... Like it was some really bad idea, like I did not get that it would change things..Was it trick psychology or something? Was he hoping I would be like"No, it's a GREAT IDEA?! It's kinda funny - -Still confused though. Thanks.

[Subotai]

Well Its a little confusing my point is guys are pretty much down to do it from day one they might not want to appear that way or rush a girl. Maybe that was some kind of weird mind trick or maybe his self control to try to carry out what he said was overcome by desire. I don't know about him but my penis actually talks. And its very loud and can drown out reason, which isn't all that loud. After the touch then no I don't see him saying no

[Asker]

Your funny {Thats good}. So, he might have intended on keeping with his word but once we were kissing he got caught up in the moment- I know he was not PLANNING anything since I kissed him out of the blue.. I did not mean to make him think o wanted sex, idid not realize that guys will assume that just from a kiss- had never occurred to me, apparently everyone else thinks its obvious... Do you think I led him on? I like him but I just felt like kissing him , would that confuse most guys?

[Subotai]

Maybe a little. A lot of times you hear about some accusation of abuse where a guy and a girl are making out in car and suddenly guy tocuhes girl and she suddenly says no and he doesn't stop. He should have stopped sure but no one says why did the girl let it get that far before she said no. For guys sex is like a series of steps or like a train the more momentum builds up or boner lol the harder it is to stop the train. Its a crazed state of mind it can be beautiful if both people are ready

[Asker]

Wow, That was beautiful. Thanks, I mostly think of sex as people either wanting it or not -and the profound stuff happens at other times. Pretty cool. BTW. "Appear some what moral, maybe score some romance points" It did not seem romantic when he kept interrupting the kiss to tell me how we should not.. it just made me think 'he must not like me much if could be kissing me, and he would rather talk &worry... Seriously, if a guy really liked a girl, why would he stop, to worry about a kiss?

[Subotai]

He sounds hella nervous. He obviously wants to do it. Do you, well go for it then. If not cool things down a bit with the making out and physical contact

[Asker]

"It's not a reflex. It's more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking about it." {What is the difference?} 2. This isn't a great move on his part , unless you liked it." {What do you mean - You mean because he could have offended me?} 3. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience" {You mean cause he did not wait for me to do it , or he did not think I would?} 4. He worries you don't find him sexually attractive" {What would give him that impression?} -Your answer was interesting

[Asker]

You sai something about the impatience being a sign of him worrying about me finding him sexually attractive - could you explain.. Cause I do agree it was a but of impatience tho, not desperation... Maybe overly 'enthusiastic' - for me, at that particular time. th ething about having to talk to him.. We DID just talk about it & decided to go anywhere beyond kissing, so that is why I am confused - he did NOT WANT any sexual contact... HE said he was worried 'things would change' . {Why?}

[SkinnerOne]

OK. First of all, you are obsession on this one. But that's ok because you keep referring back to the one word RESPECT. I like that. I like that a LOT! Good for you for being so keep on the respect of others. Is your culture middle eastern by chance? Just curious.

The guy was trying to signal you that it's OK for you to touch him too. I get the feeling though that there is something in your background that taking the initiative to touch him is wrong or that holds a woman's showing any initiative in sexual contact as being wrong in some manner. If that is the case then you need to consider your moral upbringing and your community standards. Some cultures can be quite harsh in their views.

[ArabSweetie]

My culture is middles eastern but I'm pervy (and proud of it haha :P) I like boys and their bodies a lot... maybe too much loll I always check them out.... boys are so hot I wish I could have them all... I'm almost horny right now just thinking about it HAHAA =D

[TheFatTwig]

I don't think it's disrespectful. I mean, it depends on the situation. But generally I think it's the guy trying to get a hand job. And your reaction lets him know a lot of things. It lets him know whether you're interested in sexual activities and how experienced you are, but generally when he puts it down there he's just thinking about getting himself a nice hj.

[liltaylz911]

well I think it is a way of telling you he was turned on and he wanted to see if you were too, and if so, he would probably expect you to put your hands down there, initiating a handjob.

[Asker]

What if I was turned on - but not in the 'hand job giving kind of away' ? { Plus I've never given one before} How would I maneuver out of that without offending him? Or , making him think I was offended by his move? It's not strange, right ? - I mean, if we were already making out, it is pretty normal?

[HaggardDiva]

This question is pretty old, but I want to throw my thoughts in. I HATE it when guys do that. I don't know what it is, but it drives me crazy and often turns me off when they do it. And the funny thing is I even like guys taking control sometimes, either taking complete control or giving it all to me, I rarely like an equal playing field, but sometimes. Sorry, anyways, but I truly hate it when they do that. There have been times that I've shut down the play because of it.

[Siendo]

I agree. There is something that turns me off about it too. - I think it would make me feel used. Like a lot of guys have said,let her find it herself. -I wonder if guys think it is a turn on, or the just don't care? Why do you HATE it?

[Reeses-pieces777]

what do you think he wants you to think? I think it's a pretty obvious answer...

[Asker]

Sadly, I do not think it is obvious.....Apparently oit could be a whole host of conflicting things.. I do not think anything is that simple.......To be fair I gave this fairly out of context , so I cannot expect a specific answer for a general question... But is still think even generally, the answer could be varied - what do you think? {Just wanted peoples opinions anyway.... I'm new at this- Like REAlLY new......... Not to overstate the obvious}

[funky5medina]

I would place the girls hand there because I would want her to rub it whether it be on the outside or the inside of my pants. doesn't mean I want to have sex, I just would want her to rub me..if it led to sex, that's ok too.

[Asker]

For how long? Really, I mean if someone started doing that, & a guy was interested on just that, how long would the the novelty to ware of.. I mean it's hard to stop doing something that someone else os enjoying jut cause you're arm is tired or something.... Are we talking minutes or hours :-)

[Cherrychix6]

If you like him and want to have a sexual relationship with him than that is fine just use protection everytime. Also if you like him but don't want to have a sexual relationship right now then talk to him about it. Being honest is best.

[lisa_username]

he just wants to play with it and caress it. that's what I want when I put my bfs hands on my boobies

[Asker]

hmm I didn't think that's like boobs I thought its more like your vag, to I guess its not invasive- so maybe yea- thank you! :-)

[Girl15]

i don't think its disrespectful..i think he just wants you to feel his penis..and doesn't mean he wants a handjob or anything..

[Asker]

I love your answer... It's like so human and simply , and it does not require anynoe involved get a background check or fingerprinted - Thanks!

[Girl15]

Your welcome! and lol a background check that's really stupid..just becuz he wanted you too feel his penis..sometimes people get extra touchy feely..no disrespect what so ever..

[CrazynKinky]

He wasn't a hand job

[CestLolaVie]

He just wants you to touch his penis, through his pants, rub it, caress it, like for sexual tension. Its not a big deal, its like when you want a guy to touch your nipples through your shirt while making out. Its not a BJ or a HJ like everyone else suggested. Its just to get things steaming.

[Asker]

Thank you. I think it's great someone can answer without turning it into a moral issue.. I can do that well enough on my own....lol. I hate to ruin the simple nature of your response, but if things get steaming, what are they getting steaming for? I mean I don't mind doing that thru clothing, but would that cause him assume that I was ok with going further after that... Or what if he got really aroused, then really wanted sex, then I'd have to stop that would be awkward. I don't want sex now.

[sedstar]

yeah... the guy wanted a handjob...

but seriously, I got even money says you could have given him oral, intercourse... whatever...

honestly, does a guy have to draw you a picture?

[Asker]

Um yea I guess since ever guy is different, I think its up to ihm to be clear. Also, he just finished saying he didn't think we should have sex. We were just kissing- kissing to me doesn't mean sex so I had no reason to assume what he did meant anything in particular but I realized it might have. Anyways we are not in that kind of relationship so I don't think it would have been appropriate. (Anyways my hand was over his boxer- you can still do hj that way?)

[ArabSweetie]

its ok, its not a big deal. When I put his hand on my ass the first time its just that I wanted to encourage him to caress me, because he was shy lol its just like guiding your partner to do something you love or maybe in his case he wanted you to see that you were making him horny, but really... I wouldn't worry about it

[Asker]

So, do you think he was maybe trying to tell em that I was turning him on? {i think that is big in his book. - SEriously, like I don' think of it as a compliment , but lots of people do} Or that he just wanted me to caress it.. I guess the problem I had with that, is I ddi not see how it would and go further- I mean if that is basically the center of the earth for guys, how could it not be a let down once I moved my hand some where else? { I did not mind my hand there for abit, but I did not want

[Asker]

To have sex, nor did I want things to go any further physically.. I could not see ow to touch him casually - THERE- while not having it lead to sex, & still maintaining a connection , with out him touching me there... I cold not see how I could just move my hand somewhere more casual & go back to kissing.. Once he moved it down I could not see how he would not be offended, or feel rejected if moved it anywhere else -without sex & or him recipricating the touch.. Is thee a way to go BACK?

[ArabSweetie]

Theres always a way to go back lol, he didn't try to froce you you know, you said it yourself. it hapenned a month ago, do you really still think about it? I'm sure if he knew it would confuse you like that he woulnt do it lol like seriously I don't know what to tell you. I mean nobody knows exactly what he ment by putting your hand here but YOU know what you what or not with him. If it was to much for you to handle then move your hand and telle him you don't wanna get sexual.

[Asker]

"hapenned a month ago,you really still think about it?" Yeah lol, I left the country - (not because of that ^ ^) for a workshop, & that is the next to last last interaction I had with him, so it sticks out & I just want to make sure I know what I am doing should anything like that happen again with him or anyone.. IT is not simply about him ,i want to know how guys think about these things.. I ask, but everyone gives me advice about what I should do, when that is not really what I want to know

[cjwright79]

I'll go with yes. That's my final answer.

[cjwright79]

No I wouldn't ask. If you want your hands on my junk they'll find their way there. I don't need to ask you anything. It's no less disrespectful to ask. It's like asking a bear not to eat you. It's just silly.

[Asker]

Hi. Ok, first you said it is no big deal. Then you said it was rude. Now you are comparing your junk to a bear?? I was hoping to see it as no big deal. I was worried it was disrespectful. You are saying that it is equally rude to ask as touch. Does that mean you never touch, and that you would find the person you were with to be rude if they did? If no one can touch or ask, what is it exactly, that is suppose to happen? Thanks!

[cjwright79]

I'm a little weary of this. You can figure things out on your own I'm sure.

[cjwright79]

Yes it is disrespectful. If you wanted to touch his penis I'm sure you'd find a way to see to that.

[cjwright79]

It's basically saying, hey, this is my penis. He'd really like some attention right now. No biggie if you aren't interested, but if you are, well that would be so cool. No pressure though... so here it is. There you are! What's gonna happen!

[lollipopgirl23]

Lmao...

[Asker]

I was just looking at this , and its funny cause your first answer was like right on - center...... Then you went in a totally opposite direction.... Just funny how you made so much sense in the beginning when you just reacted without thinking too much about it..... Then you became increasingly antagonistic towards your own initial view. {I'm not writing this to irritate you, or to provoke a response ....... I honestly thought your first answer was great, & it was interesting how it changed.}

[cjwright79]

Yeah it really is interesting isn't it! Totally fascinating. Moods change -- who knew it!

[Littletad]

It can only go one or two ways. Either he wanted a blowjob or a handjob. No matter how "soft" he did it, that's what he wanted. If he wanted sex, he would have removed your... and you get the idea.

[Asker]

Thank you for answering directly...... That is not very normal if you have never done that with a particular girl though right. I mean I've never touched him there before, I've never had sex - he's had lots..... I do not know if that was disrespectful, because I was there of my own volition. Do you think I should be insulted ?

[Littletad]

Why are you dating a guy whose that experienced? Sounds more like a player to me. If your barely dating, then yeah, he's after you for nothing more than sex. Run away if that's true.

[svon25]

Just means he is horny and wants some attention

[armyguy176]

rofl. I love girl questions they are all so easy...it means he wants to get "sexual" with you. nothing in particular, he just wants you.

[Asker]

That was funny !

[Siendo]

What if they were already being sexual? I think it says they were?

[soccerbmxwow]

is this who I think it is?

[Asker]

Ok so it's been bothering me for a while ^ ^ -I ask again now, because can't ask him about it I am abroad.. But I want to figure out if he is a jerk or not- before I get home which will be soon.. lol You're funny^ Btw You answered it in a way that is really helpful - I know you say you are not an expert , but it is just as helpful all the same - you should be flattered I had to try so many times.. I am not sure what made your post so much easier to get but anyways - thanks. haha

[soccerbmxwow]

Ok I am glad I can help anytime :)