14-year-old sister ask about sex

So when I was about to leave the house earlier today, I overheard my 19-year-old sister in a phone call with a friend of hers, apparently my 14-year-old sister had been asking the usual questions about sex to her older sister, like "will it hurt the first time?", "what happens when you have sex". etc. And when her older sister told her to talk to mom, she thought it was embarrassing etc.

Now when I came home, I heard my 14-year-old sister giggling and talking about virginity with her friends, and something about a "second virginity" whatever that means.

I'm "worried" for two reasons: She's 14, only been together with her current boyfriend for about a week or two and my other sister is, err, sorta of a slut, so she shouldn't go and take advice from her.

In one way, I don't want to "step in" because its her decision, its not my business and all that, but I still get a feeling that I should do at least something. Maybe mention to mom that she should talk to her about "flowers and bees" and maybe they'll start talking that way

help! :(

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I was 14, and I have older brother. I think it would be equally embarrassing, hearing sex talk from my mum or brother. But, 'cos brother is actually a guy, I'd probably paid more attention to what my brother told me. Try to talk to her, without being so embarrassed yourself. Like, you know, be cool about it. Tell her that, well, she can do it now but maybe it would be better for her to wait for someone who will be 'special', and just in love with. I don't think telling her about handjobs/blowjobs is such a good idea. She may try to keep her virginity in the stupidest way possible - by doing "everything but" actual intercourse. But that's your choice. Give her some views on sex and virginity from boy perspective - like what do guys think about girls having sex do early. Try not to mock her or show that you think she's immature (well we all know she is, but trust me teenage girls don't like to have that one pointed) cos she may just get angry and have sex just to show she can. Be cool, treat her with respect, and be calm. Should help. If not, send your mum. If that doesn't help too, at least buy her condoms... She may not think about it and her boyfriend neither, but you sure as hell don't want your baby sister have a baby.

    Good luck!

What Girls Said 2

  • hey, she's your sib and you're the big brother, so it's not over stepping to say something to y'all's mom. Sure, it's an embarassing talk, but almost everyone goes thru it, so she'll get over the embarrassment and get info she needs.

  • she prob thinks she's totally old enough for this and thinks its cool, telling your mom may not be the best idea because your little sis may resist her and get herself in more trouble. I suggest you talk to her yourself, make it sound cool to keep her virginity. as gross as it may be for you maybe tell her other things she can do that aren't sex like handjobs/ blow jobs, yea she's too young for that too but if you think she's serious about sex with this guy then maybe its better that she does those other things instead. choose your battles. and don't get all preachery on her like your mom would be chill about it. but I don't know how your family is its your call who you tell just as long as you get her to talk to someone. at the very least get her some pamphlets or something...

    and the second virginity thing I think she's talking about anal sex

    good luck

What Guys Said 7

  • 2mo

    let your other sister take care of that

  • Consider this: when you pick someone for advice, especially someone as close as a sister, it's because you know, roughly, what you care to hear.

    So if you come off as saying, "Don't listen to her, she's a slut," you'll hear--and should hear--in reply, "No, I'm not listening to you. You're an ass."

    What you want to do instead is gently open the lines of communication, just in case she's thinking of talking with you. RESPECTFULLY give your opinion if you disagree, and correct gross misinformation. Again, respectfully; if she catches you talking down to her, you're done.

    • "Don't listen to her, she's a slut"

      Yeah, good thing you pointed that out, cause I was totally thinking of telling her that *rolls eyes*

  • does ur sister trust u? if so then talk to her about it and about the real life issues that sex brings and the do's and don't's. but always remember that its her decision to do it and not urs. giving her all the information and letting her know that it is illegal to do it too might help her make a decision at least an informed decision.

    if you are not close then talk to ur mother about it. but let ur mother know that ur sister can never know it was you who told ur mother or else that will ruin ur relationship with ur little sister.

  • UnknownFox has the right idea. If you feel close enough to your sister to speak to her, then by all means do. If not, just let your mother know and hopefully she'll be able to handle it. Just make sure she's getting the advice from somebody responsible and hopefully your sister will be able to manage it herself from there. Don't worrying about 'stepping in' or intruding on her decision. She's only 14, you're just looking out for her best interests when she might be making choices she'll live to regret. It's what family is for.

  • You know best the family dynamics. I would get her in the car and talk too her, answer all her questions, and give her the right dope. In some families that would be sacrilege, but for the 14 year old, it would be the best.

  • I would have to agree, let your mother know of what you over heard so she can handle the situation. Unless you and your sister are really close and you think you could explain and help her out yourself.

    It doesn't matter where the advice comes from, as long as its someone with a good head on thier shoulders and I do agree, if your older sister is a well...slut as you put it, not the best place at all for your yonger sister to get her information unless you wanna risk her being just like her.

  • I like that last idea.

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