Guys - Does eye contact and coy smiles turn you on with a girl you dig?

Anonymous

Wondering if eye contact and coy smiles with a girl you find attractive turn you on? So you've been having major eye contact with a girl at work or school and you feel a spark. You see her and you make eye contact with her and she looks into your eyes with confidence, gives a sly/coy smile and says "hello"...

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Most Helpful Guys

jdcpa Explorer
+1 y
It just shows me that there's a gap between how she really feels, and how she's projecting herself to me and the rest of the world.

That gap between how she really feels and how she's carrying herself comes off as dishonest. It would make me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe interacting with her, because the way she's just showed me that the way she acts and behaves is significantly different from what she's really feeling or thinking. That just reaks of manipulation, either happening or waiting to happen, and I would stay the hell away.

Honest people have a very small gap between how they feel and how they carry themselves (usually due to being nervous, or just trying to make a good impression and not be judged negatively by others) or if they're honest, confident and secure, how they act & behave is perfectly in sync with how they feel or what they're really thinking.

So if a girl did that to me, it might "look" sexy (like if we're filming a movie or taking pictures), but emotionally; it's a huge turn-off, very unattractive, and an automatic deal-breaker.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  But what if this is something that the guy does too and what if this is her personality and she's trying to not be nervous with him? She's a shy girl and she's just giving back to him what he does with her.
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  If that's what HE'S doing with you, but he's doing it NATURALLY, then that's fine. That's very different from you trying to or forcing yourself to imitate him and do what he's doing UN-NATURALLY. That'll just come off as fake. And "fake", is unattractive. Think about it this way. Why is he flirting confidently with you? Because he likes you, the way you are. Now you want to go ahead and change what he already likes and is flirting with? That's kind of counterproductive don't you think?
- Asker
  +1 y
  I was just trying to get the balls to move on from flirting to an actual conversation and how can I do that without giving him a smile and confident look?
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- jdcpa
  +1 y
  Besides, do you want me to let you in on a little secret? The way to get a guy to want you more, is for him to FEEL MANLY around YOU. When he flirts confidently with you, and you accept it, he feels manly. Like he's giving you a fun interaction you enjoy, and leading that interaction. The moment you feel tempted to take over the role of the dominant flirt or interaction leader, he no longer feels manly around you. You've just taken away the unique feeling he once felt with you.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay so I'll continue to ignore him and do nothing
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  You don't need to do that, you need to LET HIM do that. Instead of trying to be the dominant flirt or act sexy, just sit back and accept him and the interaction. It lets him feel good around you, and slowly catch onto the fact that you're accepting him and interacting with him. That will slowly give him the reassurance of your acceptance & interest in him he needs, to find the confidence to take the interation on a much deeper and meaningful level.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay it's all so confusing -
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  "Do nothing" does not mean "ignore him". It just means "don't be the one to lead; let him lead". DON'T wait for him to magically come and flirt or interact with you. But also DON'T flirt & interact with him first either. Just create and give him the CHANCES & OPPORTUNITIES for HIM to flirt & interact with YOU. And when he does, ACCEPT them and just have fun. Let him lead, and all you have to do is follow. That's it. It's that simple. No need to make it more complicated that it really is.
- Asker
  +1 y
  It is what I've been doing and I finally gave him something back - a smile and eye flirts
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  Guys aren't looking to see that you feel CONFIDENT around him. They're looking to see if you're INTERESTED in them or WANT them. A smile or coy look DOES NOT communicate that to a man. All it communicates is that you might be feeling confident; and that's good for you, but means nothing to him. How does that, in your mind, show him that you're interested in him, and want him? How does that, in your mind, reassure him that he's not the only one who really has feelings for you?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Because I rarely hold eye contact for long periods of time and I only do it with him when he does it with me. Smiling is also an invite for him to get to know me cause like him and want him.
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  Unless he's reassured of your interest in him, almost no guy will take the interaction forward or to a deeper and more meaningful level (unless he's just looking to have sex; then he doesn't care about being emotionally hurt, he'll go all the way, with or without any reassurance on your part) But if he stands to be emotionally invested (and hurt) from the interaction, then unless you communicate your interested to him CLEARLY (not with subtle "hints"), you'll just have to take it there yourself
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  99.99999% of guys don't see smiling & eye-contact that way. It's meaningless to them. You're not making a statement at all. You're not showing your interest in him, because you're not putting yourself out on the line at all. You're always holding onto the excuse that (hey, it was just me looking or smiling, that means nothing). It's a cheap-cop-out-excuse of telling yourself you showed interest. But to men, if you can still go back and say it meant nothing then you're not really showing interest
- Asker
  +1 y
  So when he flirts with me the way he has been I should not be subtle and just be myself and go for it?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay that last comment you made made a lot of sense - you're right it's not really putting myself out there.
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  Just be yourself, but DON'T "go for it"; LET HIM do that. When he does, just accept the interaction (as opposed to rejecting it and pushing him away). Whatever "go for it" entails. (be it him feeling comfortable enough to touch you, to make an inappropriate joke with you, to verbally express his interest in you, to kiss you, etc.)
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay I'lm waiting for him to make his move and hell yes if/when he does I'll accept it.
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  See, I hope more guys read that. That way, they'll know to not be afraid to make a move, because on your end, you're just waiting for him to make it so you can accept it. That's all most guys are afraid of. If they make a move, will you reject it and push them away? I guess if "he's" (any guy) reassured that you won't reject him or push him away, then "he" (any guy) won't be afraid to just go for it and make a move.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes I will wait and wait and wait here for him. have been for a year now.
- greeneyedgal
  +1 y
  I really enjoyed your perspective, that makes perfect sense.
- jdcpa
  +1 y
  Well, don't just "wait" there. CREATE CHANCES & OPPORTUNITIES for him to interact with you. The same way it's unreasonable of him to expect you to just magically take the lead and make things happen, is the same way it's unreasonable and unrealistic for you to expect the same from him. It's 50/50.. you create the chances and opportunities for him, and he'll be the only to take the lead and move forward so you can follow.. just sitting back and "waiting" isn't very 50/50 of you.
l-hedoniste Master
+1 y
A classic attention-getter, too rarely used.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  Do you like it? I did it and it felt nice to give him that flirty signal and he seemed receptive. He had done it too me as well.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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Subotai Xper 6
+1 y
Yeah It makes me think she's interested. It makes me think about her and wonder "does she like me. But there are a lot of girls that like to get your attention and make you think you "stand a chance" only to make fun of you and laugh at you and feel pretty.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  I'd never ever do that to a guy I'm not interested in? I mean, would you do that to a girl you weren't interested in?
- Subotai
  +1 y
  No I wouldn't do that but I know a hell of a lot of girls that would. They would like nothing more than to snare more guys time attention maybe even money and I sear they have a box full of tallys and that box is labeled broken hearts. Girls that complain about guys looking at them ridiculous you know they love it that's why they bring it up
Jonny_ Guru
+1 y
Its attractive, but in my case its completely useless as a flirting method, because its too subtle and I wouldn't notice in a billion years, unfortunately that's bitten me in the ass before, but I can't be blamed entirely, can i?
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- Asker
  +1 y
  Sigh....why is this mating dance so confusing!!!!
- Jonny_
  +1 y
  I asked myself the same questions, with my current girlfriend she flirted with me and I didn't know, later she told me after she had gotten over it, I told her I liked her a lot and still liked her ad persisted after her and I got the chance to date her again, to think I almost completely blew it because neither of us could tell the other was flirting...
- Asker
  +1 y
  You sound like me, but it's impossible to truly know how the other person feels towards you without them actually telling you - even when you get a gut feeling that says it's truth.
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- Jonny_
  +1 y
  I agree, even when she told me I still didn't believe it... I'm a natural self doubter though, saying that though she is beautiful and way to good for me lol I feel so lucky to have her :)
armyant Xper 3
+1 y
Yes it does; I like girls who are subtle and shy because they make for the most rewarding chase. You should know, though, that most guys don't seem to like chasing women, so don't take this as any kind of recommendation on how you should act.
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somedude555 Xper 5
+1 y
HELLL YES

that is a major turn on.

coy smiles are one of the sexiest thing a girl can do. IMO
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