I hear a lot of people using the term "FWB" to describe their relationships.

[Anonymous]

I am curious to know what people think that this really means. To me? It's two people having casual sex without getting into a relationship - no dating, no courtship, no chase, no solid partnership. As for if the two people are TRUE friends? Probably not. What gets me, is that I think people are misusing this term - it sounds like guys on here are thinking "WOW, I want a FWB! I get sex on demand, don't have to buy her dinner, or gifts or invest any real time/money/emotions in this! I can even keep on dating and having sex with other girls guilt-free! GREAT! How do I get one of those?" Do we really know the difference between FWB and a guy just wanting to use a girl for sex without having to go "through the motions"... (the above applies to women too! gender equality here...)

[l-hedoniste]

I doubt the word has a rigid meaning; it's open to negotiation from couple to couple. (Most relationship language is--it's why smart couples spend so much time negotiating boundaries.)

I would ONLY be an FWB with someone who was a true friend, whose company I enjoy, whom I can trust and be candid with--we are intimates, after all. And I expect to fulfill at least the minimal obligations of friendship: listen when she speaks, help her if she moves, behave like I know and like her.

What I MUST NOT DO, however, is act like her boyfriend; it's unfair, unwise, and harmful, to begin a romantic relationship with someone you just want to f*ck.

As for those guys who sex without investing time/care/money, etc., they just want a whore they don't have to pay, and they'll keep dreaming until they get their heads straight. Ignore them.

[OutOfMyElement43]

Yes, the "negotiating boundaries" is when you find out what the deal breakers are. Yes, it's always good to be clear about no boyfriend/girlfriend issues. However, you confuse me a little when you use words like "trust" and "intimate;" it's comes a little to close to "confide." To "confide;" I believe is treading dangerously close to leading her to believe there could be a relationship.

[l-hedoniste]

Even the most casual sex involves trust. You trust your partner to keep you safe from disease. You trust your partner to take steps to prevent unwanted children. You trust your partner not to be selfish, sadistic, or reckless. If you can't trust someone that far, you shouldn't sleep with them, no matter what.

[OutOfMyElement43]

I agree 100%

[OutOfMyElement43]

I posted this above. My FWB are girls date, but I never get past the dating stage. The sexual chemistry is there, but there's not relationship connection. With a FWB, we usually go out and then go home. No we're not friends; now we're really not dating. We're just going out and having fun until a real relationship comes along. At that point, we break it off. So, I guess there is a difference in being an FWB and just a F*** buddy. If the FWB thing is different than a f*** buddy, I don't have f*** buddies.