He calls me a slut!

My boyfriend has serious issues with my past. But of course, he doesn't think he has a problem - I am the problem, according to him.You see I was a virgin when we met, but that doesn't mean I was all pure and a saint. I had made out with older men, when I was just a teen, even though just a couple of guys, one who was like 10 years older and one that was like 5 years older. Anyway, what bothers him the most is that when I was 15, I had a friend with benefits (who 3 years later introduced me to my boyfriend). And I gave that guy half a BJ (because went on for only a few seconds and he didn't cum) in my back yard. So I was telling him now how last night I was stargazing and saw something really strange happen with a star. And all he could care about? "Were you stargazing in your back yard?" I said yes, and he went on to say "Huh, so it seems the only thing missing there was a d*** for you to suck!" I told him I didn't want to argue, so we better talk later he sayd "Bye, you f***ing slut".I know I'm not a slut, and good God, whatever happened in the past is IN THE PAST! I've never cheated on him, I'm not a flirt. So why would he even call me a slut? I know he's the one with the problem, but he won't ever admit it. he says I'm the problem - that if I hadn't been such a slut in the past then none of this would be happening now. That no guy likes being with a slut.I love him and I don't know why I just can't leave him. I guess it's in part because I love him and in part the challenge of proving him wrong, that I'm not a slut. Hell, sometimes I think sure if we break up it will hurt a lot, but what will hurt even more is that he will always think I am a slut when I'm not! How can I prove him that I'm NOT a slut?

Updates:
Men have such double standards. Hey kissing is not sexual. I kissed a guy who was 10 years older, yes. But the BJ, I gave to a good friend, whom I knew for over a year, who was just a couple years older...
I bet if all you guys who're judging me over what I did had received a bj at 17 from a girl who was just a close friend of yours, none of you would think that what you did was a big deal, oh, but when it comes to a woman it is. Fuck your double standards!
I was a teenager, and as a teenager people make mistakes. We all have. Some have used alcohol, some drugs, some have stolen, some have got into fights, some cheat at exams, some cheat on their partners, etc. It hardly defines people.
Obama did drugs as a teen. Does that define who he is? Huh?
It's so funny... it seems like guys can have all the fun they want, yet women can't? huh...
OK he broke up with me, I hope all you guys who sided with him are happy now. I'm heartbroken now because apparently I'm not pure enough. He said he would never be able to forgive me, so there, are you happy now, knowing that I'm completely heartbroken?
If a mod reads this, could they please delete this whole thing? I don't want to keep reading judgmental crap anymore!
To all of them saying I shouldn't ask for advice if I can't handle it: one thing is giving advice, another completely different is judging someone you don't know. And you are judging.
I contacted this site's help. They said they can't delete a post unless it's offensive, sexually explicit or irrelevant. So I'm asking you all to please refrain from posting from now on. I'm tired of this. And thank you dallascheerleader for the support.
 

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

Most Helpful Opinion

  • well in all honesty, that does make you slightly promiscuous but that doesn't make you slut. I'm guessing you had some sort of feelings for the people you did things with. whether they were strong or not is irrelevant because at least they were there. But the thing is, I have had sex with 7 guys and I am 19. One of which is 28. I had a fling with another 28 year old. I have made out with guys who are 25. When I was 15, I dated a 23 year old. When I was 17, I dated a 24 year old. And I own up to the fact that to some guys, my actions could constitute as slutty. I am not innocent but I still think that I am a good girl and I have good intentions. I have had sex with guys I don't necessarily have feelings for. But why should any of this matter when guys do it all the time? Unfortunately there is a double standard and if your guy feels that way, then he is entitled to his own opinion and you can't change how he feels. He may never stop thinking you are a slut but if you break up with him for calling you one, at least he can't say you are a pushover and a slut. Staying with a guy who is verbally abusive is just as a bad as being a slut. I think you should own up to your actions to yourself and realize that they weren't exactly innocent and were kind of "slutty" but realize that you can act slutty and not be a slut. You need to find a guy who will accept your behavior and see that you are a good person with a good heart and that is all that matters. Not to mention, your boyfriend sounds like a prude ass bitch. Find a guy who can see the kinkier side of you and be down to explore your sexuality with you not someone who condemns your sexcapades because its not like guys don't have their slutty stories. hope this helps! ps you aren't a slut. you have done some "slutty" things but I do NOT think you are a slut. Look at all the sh*t I've done haha You pale in comparison in terms of sluttiness. ;)

    • Thanks evangelina :)

    • I love this answer.

    • People disagree with you because of the huge and stupid double standards. They're just intimidated by that, I believe. Some men are secure enoguh with themselves not to let it affect them, but others are immature and think people like you are sluts. It just takes reading a few of the answers and commentsby male posters to see this difference. I could only wish there were more guys like the ones that don't see an issue with a girl's past.

    • Show Older

What Guys Said 57

  • If you're a virgin technically you can't be a slut. But sleeping with random men and havingfriends with benefits is slutty. Men don't like to share and sluts aren't marriage material

  • It's so funny... it seems like guys can have all the fun they want, yet women can't? huh..I know its kinda f***ed up to say butA key that opens every lock is a master keyBut a lock that opens to every key is a sh*tty lock...Not judgin just saying, But my first post is the one that ment anything.

  • Good for you he broke up with you, The douche bag didn't deserve you and he didn't treat you right f*** what every one else is saying. Keep your head up, there will be someone who comes by and he will accept you for all you are, If a man ever calls you a slut break it off with him...unless its like dirty talk or something.

  • A slut is a word that women invented to judge each other by. Men have not got a clue what a slut is ; tell him to ask your girlfriends if you are a slut?

  • Sluts are sexually promiscuous. You gave one person head that you'd known for over a year. By definition you are not one. If your guy can't handle that you did that to one guy he needs to grow the f*** up. What's he gonna do when he hits 30 and every woman his age has been with multiple men? Young guys can be so irrational, insecure and rediculous. Don't be heartbroken over him would be my suggestion, he doesn't deserve it and it's probably just a pity party/guild trip deal he's trying to put on you anyway. You're better off without him.

  • hay I know you asked not to post but I just wanted to say that ur not a slut I mean wht you have done isn t even close to slutty it something most girls have done at 17 infact in Ireland I know girl who are 14 doing it I mean come on ur not a slut at all and any guy that thinks so is a thick f***

  • well nobody want to have kids with a slut. maybe some people do but not me. its biological.

  • ho.

  • This guy has some real deep issues that would have more likely than not turned into an abusive relationship. He needs serious help. You were a virgin when you met him...wow! that's something very special that he should have relized. You've done yourself a favor to be rid of him...stick with the older men...they're treat you right.

  • yall could just report it. so she doesn't have to read it anymore

  • Forget proving him wrong, stress can take up to 12 years off your life, so just say f*** him and move on. Dump him and find somebody who makes you feel good about yourself. Again, enjoy life and do whatever makes you happy you don't have enough time to waste it on people who are judgmental or just plain douchebags.

  • your ex was a douchebag.

  • YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER HAVE BEEN A SL*T. You already know that. And any guy, including your now ex boyfriend who thinks that is a woman-hating jerk who doesn't DESERVE YOU. See this site for more: link and also this one: link And any guy who would use that term at all, doesn't deserve to EVER have a girlfriend and I hope girls and women start boycotting guys who use woman-hating terms to describe girls and women. Enough is enough, and you've paid the price because your ex-bf is a jerk, a real woman-hating jerk. Had I not read the updates I would have said LEAVE HIM RIGHT AWAY: there are MUCH nicer guys out there for you. And whenever you meet a guy from now on, ask him if he thinks ANY girl or woman is a "sl*t" or a "b*tch" and if so, wave him goodbye. You need to know there are lots of guys (not enough but lots) who do NOT call girls and women those disgusting names. Go to xyonline.net to see what I mean.You know the problem is his obsessive inability to not get over his own negative thinking about women. It has nothing to do with what you did or didn't do in the past. Ideas about "girls as pure" is ridiculous anyway, but even with that, you did nothing "impure"!I wish you well and am honestly glad he's out of your life. I hope you never give him any energy from now on. He doesn't deserve it; he doesn't deserve you; and I feel sorry for any girl or woman he ever dates, because he's got some serious DRAMA issues he can't yet get over. HIS loss, your GAIN. Go on into your life, feel GREAT about yourself, and be glad the jerk left you. There are WAY too many sexist double standards out there. Read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf to learn more about all this. I wish you well. Sorry you had to go through all that with all those jerk guys.

    • Wow dude, pathetic. Do you think your feeble attempt of Vaginal Sympathy is going to get you laid? You are probably a queer.

  • hahaha, shame. your boyfriend did the right thing. now you have sex with loads of guys like you always wanted.

    • What the f*** is wrong with you.....she was a virgin when they started dating so obviously she doesn't want to have sex with a whole bunch of guys. Get a life.

    • Nice boobs dude!

  • This is an old post but I definitely have some thoughts...Your problem was that your boundaries (the rules you have for the way others interact with you) were very weak, which is why you would allow someone to talk to you this way.Learn this: there is NO connection between loving him, and allowing him to hurt you continuously. I'm sure that I would LOVE cocaine, but I would never allow it into my boundaries because I respect myself too much.Your LOVE for him is NOT an excuse to not love yourself.When you heal up hopefully you'll learn that you need to love YOURSELF enough to have better boundaries. Boundaries that you DEMAND others to respect, no matter what!Would you let someone talk to your baby sister that way? I hope not. Then why is it okay for him to talk to you that way?The best thing you can do is find a powerful, mature, self confident, female mentor who can show you how easy it is to mature, heal, and love yourself. Find a woman like this and seek her counsel as often as possible. Make sure she's not jaded or angry, because she won't be of any help.Here is a great book on love and self healing. Read this book and you'll never be bothered by the silly judgments of others. Why? Because the only person's opinion that matters is yours!The Mastery of Love: link ~ RobbyMy Blog ( link )P.S. Don't fret. I've dated MANY women, and most of them have had WAY more sexual partners than I ever will... and you know what? I couldn't give two craps about it. All it tells me is that she's a woman of experience and knowledge. And as you get older you'll find many older men are FAR more mature about such things.Don't become jaded or cynical because of this one douchbag!

  • Let's recap:You were a virgin when you met your bf. He called you a slut. Now he's not your boyfriend anymore.Where's the problem? This boy is horrible. If he treated you like this early in the relationship, how would he treat you if you had been married for years?The best way forward is obvious: stop dating guys who call you a whore. There are plenty of us out there who will behave better than that. Good luck!

  • i don't think you were a slut... I'm glad you guys broke up though because it seems that this guy was at least on the fringe of being abusive. you sound like a morally good girl at least in this sense don't let his jealousy keep you down. he's jealous of something in the past.

  • ur not a slut...life is life...girls and guys can both get touchy...i will say guys can have a terrible jellas streak...seconly you can't change him...he has to change him self...not tryingto be mean but if he decides not to change he will just bring you down...i can tell ur dedicated...but he needs to just get over him self if you love him make sure he knows...and maybe he might decid to get off his high horse

  • You're not a slut. Your boyfriends just insecure. Stuff that happens in the past happens and there is nothing you can do in the present to change that. Your boy needs to grow up and stop destroying you to make you feel better. Drop his ass.

  • Your past is your upcoming future. I'm not saying this for making you mad however if you bother to notice doing this is in my country is being more than a slut. However if you prove that you are not with your full heart, you can change things but you need some time for this.Also if you reveal your past you must take responsibilities with it. If you share your secret, he/she will share your secret. nice proverb eh ?

    • To all the guys here: if he was the one who had had a bit of oral sex with one girl, and he "confessed" that to his girlfriend, do you think she should demean him as "a sl*t"? And dump him for doing that?

    • Where are you from synchronize? Your kind of weird, this girl is not a slut and this dude is just some punk.

    • Allright, then find people for make you comfortable for telling what you want to hear. I just said what I think and useful for you. Anyway good luck for you, I'm out.

    • Show Older
  • The way to prove to to this guy that you're not a slut is basically to be there for him. Remain calm. Either try to be there for him or leave him to calm down for a little.

    • She's not a sl*t. She has nothing to prove or disprove. Please don't perpetuate this sexist idea that anyone is "a sl*t" and has to "behave their way out of being thought of this way". That jerk boyfriend will always think of her that way, and that's HIS problem to fix through his own behavior, not hers.

  • To be honest with you its for the best that you two aren't together anymore. I've seen people with issues like that who would later beat their partner... On second thought though, I would try not to bring up any past experiences to another man because that's what bothers us. Your ex was just a jealous fool and he's probably dangerous to be around.

    • But it bothering you is YOUR issue, not hers. And it bothering you is for YOU to deal with, not for her to keep a secret because you don't know how to deal with your feelings in a healthier, more woman-respecting way.

  • Past is past. Enough said. If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't deserve to have you. My girlfriend has a similar past, but I love her very much, and I don't even think of it as her past. Bottom line: If he can't accept that you are a different person than you were before, then he doesn't deserve you.

    • She wasn't a "bad" person before. We've got to stop stigmatising girls for doing the exact same things boys do, who never get called those names.

  • NEVER talk about what you did with someone else in the past. PERIOD! No Exceptions!

  • I'm sorry that you had to suffer from a breakup without time for rational discussion. But hey, at least if he is going to judge you and not give you the opportunity to demonstrate maturity, he's doing it sooner rather than later.Personally, I think 15 is rightfully called "early sexual initiation," for any kind of act. But that doesn't mean it's necessarily abnormal or reason to castigate somebody. GL with getting over this guy. Just make sure you don't do it by getting UNDER someone else. He's probably expecting you to do something like that and would be all over it like white on rice if he were to find out.

  • no you not a slut. your boyfriend is really young and needs to get over himself. maybe in 10 years...

  • Wow...what an incredible response your question got. Your VERY controversial. My response is pretty simple: Firstly, don't comment SO much to people who are trying to make you feel guilty. It makes YOU look guilty! Ignore hateful, hurtful comments, respond only to people who sound sincere, even if they disagree with you. As for your past, it is not BAD or slutty at all. If your boyfriend is gone now, then your very lucky, despite your current bad feelings. You've done nothing wrong, and I hope you enjoyed kissing the older guy, and I hope you enjoyed giving the partial bj. Everything you did was normal, and those who criticized you for it are just having fun at your expense. Don't dwell on your past (which is not a bad one anyway), and don't fall for guys who expect too much from you.

    • @Feelinfrisky,Rather than criticising her for taking on her critics, why not call out the jerk guys for putting her down? You have the power to influence other guys around you.

    • The main problem is trying to prove your boyfriend wrong. What right does he have to judge your past anyway. We are all human and each past is different. He has no right calling you a slut. Him disrespecting you shouldn't make you love him more...dear Lord girl get a backbone. Let him know that you do not accept this kind of behavior from him....even if you sadly do...good luck-MaxPrime

    • Very well put! Couldn't have said it better myself.

    • Show Older
  • This guy is stupid. Women are not sluts. Don't stand that.Your ex certainly watches porns every day and dreams to have sex with almost all girls he sees on the street. Moreover you were a teenager and teenager do sometimes stupid things. It is a phase were you can collect experiences, you were not his wife.

    • Would we call a boy doing exactly what she did--having a bit of oral sex with a women--a stupid thing? Why is her experimentation stupid and boys' experimentation is never considered anything negative, least of all a reason to dump him!

  • I hate those righteous hypocrites. Your boyfriend is one. I feel disgusted by some immature reactions here.My wife told me she hadn't full sex before we met, and she was a virgin. She told me she did make out with a number of guys (probably guys I knew) I never asked what they did and who the guys were. I just don't want to know what happened, I don't want to know who the guys were, I don't want to know their ages: it's her life, her history, not mine. It happened before we met. Is she a prostitute because of that? Hell, No, she isn't and she wasn't! She just was a healthy girl enjoying life. She still is. And I love her.And question asker isn't either. Question asker just was a healthy girl enjoying life.Most (nearly all!) girls here and in America made out with guys before they went steady with their BF, gave blow jobs too.And you guys love that. You're right to love it.Some morons (or Mormons?) judge it 'slutty'. They're no better themselves.A present from a Bible reading apatheist:Matthew 7:1 link 1Judge not, that ye be not judged.___John 8:7 link When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."NKJV John 8:7 link PS,Another 'dirty' little secret those 'saints' won't tell you: a lot of those guys made out with other guys, gave a blow job to other guys. More than you'd think. And they liked it. Morally they just get over it by judging and condemning others.I don't condemn them,not for doing that. I condemn them for 'forgetting' it and being so hypocritically righteous.PPS, mods can't delete questions, only admins can.

  • Just remember some of these people are just being mean and you're not a slut.

  • I've called girls sluts well more like hoes, and they didn't run off crying, just said I was sexist and a jerk what about my feelings, maybe my feelings were hurt, lol no no I could care less, but speaking of that maybe you hurt his feelings all he wanted was a bj and you said no. I would be like why not you've done it to lots of guys in the past?

    • Well to answer you question Julian, it's because I know for a fact that if you call a chick a name, she will get over it. And it is women who think that if some guy calls them a name they should get all the sympathy in the world, and if you fall for that you will never get a girlfriend or even get laid Julian. And yes I have called a chick a slut before and no she didn't cry about it, go to therapy, she is perfectly fine she got over it. Your falling for their crap left and right, and I bet your single.

    • Why do you think you have the right to put down girls and women this way?

    • Speaking of sluts, hey kaybee glad you decided to join us. Wtf mommy issues what the hell does that mean?

    • Show Older
  • Some people just have problems with their sig nif other having a past, obviously he is one. I think neither of you should put up with this and just break up. btw Obama sucks.

    • Dela1111,You're entitled to your opinion about Obama, but it iscompletely irrelevant here, juste hateful

  • I would have problems with your past myself. Kissing someone 26 while your 16 just sounds creepy to me. But that would not in any way shape or form make you deserving of the word slut. In reality, no one deserves to be judged in such a way. This guy does not deserve your time, and it's only damaging to your self-esteem.

    • Why don't you judge the CREEPY 26 year old, and not her? Why would you blame and judge her for that? I don't get it. Why are girls made to carry the stigma of creepy guys? If a girl is raped, in many parts of the world, she is seen as the one to have committed the crime, and can be stoned to death. This is along those same lines, while far less violent and far less lethal. You're blaming her for something some guy did. Would you judge a guy of 16 for kissing a woman of 25?

    • Quit commenting on everyones answers and putting your opinion as if it's correctional. It's annoying, and one sided.

    • It's the past.

  • People are acting like d***s. Just E mail the site they'll help

  • I love how the question asker immediately attacks whoever doesn't agree with her. Honestly, you can't get away from your past. Your boyfriend should not be calling you a slut and it's awesome that you were open and honest with him. I've learned that the boyfriend SHOULDN'T ask about past relationships. It's good to know you had ex's, and if you're clean ... whatever... bu don't get into specifics. He did a lot of this to himself. On the other hand it does speak of your character and what you are willing or might do. Stop denying it. In the end he is your boyfriend and he needs to accept it. As long as you're committed and faithful to him here and now he should have no worries. Good luck.

  • You may have to directly contact customer support. I agree with you that people are judging you as something you are not.

  • If it makes any difference to you, I'm on your side where I think this thread here is being judgemental. You just gotta understand what forces are driving people's lives to figure out why they did the things they did.Honestly, I was pretty surprised this morning when I got a thumbs down for my post telling the topic starter why I understood her point of view. You would think that non-anonymously posting some fairly sensitive information about your own experiences with a chronic mental illness (I hate using the word "illness" to describe something about me btw) would help other people understand who you are as a person.Of couse for you (topic starter) and me, you can't really get worked up about when others don't understand. We live in a world where people are just thinking about themselves, trying to keep their own heads from going under. It's hard enough to keep your own head above water without constantly thinking of other people and who they are. If someone doesn't have the time in their lives to do that sort of thing, it's their problem.It's one of those times where you would like to say "I am who I am, there's nothing either one of us can do about it. How can I help you see the world through my eyes, to help you understand why I see things the way I do? How can I help you understand those of us who do not go through the same ups and downs as you?"In the end, you can't really control how another person thinks. If I'm not the type of person that they want to get to know, that's fine. We'll just learn to live without each other (shouldn't be too hard). If your boyfriend isn't the type of person that will accept you, you both will move on and find someone else.It can take a while to find someone who has seen the world through your eyes but those people are out there. Through all the mistakes I've made in neglecting my responsibilities, not knowing how to relate to those around me, and not being as strong of a person as I could've been, there are still people in my life who accepted me for who I am. I still have friends from when I was a second grader, I still have those I met through my sports and my music, I still have friends online, I still have my new friends from college, and I still have my family. As life moves on, I can expect to be able to stay side-by-side with those people as long as I'm there for them when they are for me. And even if your boyfriend does not want to be one of those people, it's all the same, that's one person less in your life that didn't want to be there for you in the first place.The way you have to look at those things is that your experience makes you a stronger person. I went through a lot of tough times in my early teen days having almost no friends to talk to, but I'm a stronger person now. All we can do in this world is be there for ourselves and see that life goes on. And if other people don't get who you are, you've still got yourself and your dear ones and no one can take that away.

  • You really shouldn't ask for advice if you can't handle what people are going to say to you. Life is not all fluffy bunnies and rose petals. You did some stuff as a younger teen that you are going to get judged for. The sooner you accept that and are ok with it, the sooner you'll move on past it. Trying to put your hands over your ears and say "NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH IM NOT LISTENING YOU ARE JUDGMENTAL NAH NAH NAH" isn't reality and doesn't work in the real world.Two lessons learned, hopefully.1) Think before you act and don't be in such a rush to mature so quickly.2) Don't ask for advice if you can't handle the heat.Good luck!

  • You asked a question, you got answers. Not all of which you wanted or liked. So then what was the point of asking the question? Just deal with it.

    • Stop answering and commenting on this question. It's a waste of time.

    • Same for most mine. :')

    • Haha what did I say here? It obviously got deleted but I guess was pretty funny.

    • Show Older
  • I don't think we're happy, I do think we understand that there are guys out there that are not ok with girls doing things that you've done. You're going to have to live with that. It is YOUR past and YOUR decisions. Move on and find someone who loves you and appreciates you and accepts you regardless of your sketchy past. Good luck!

  • Show More

What Girls Said 60

  • Its not a big deal. like yous said its in the past, nothing can change it and now the only thing you can do is move on. your boyfriend was being stupid.

  • sorry I just have to say it. first of all... you aren't a slut. second, you don't have to prove that to anyone. thirdly, was he "pure and clean" when he met you ? I seriously doubt that if he's past the age of 10... point is, you shouldn't be with someone like this. you may just look at someone one day while he's around and he'll tell you that you were cheating on him ...

  • he's a f***ing d***. dump him!

  • Okay, you really aren't a slut. Just think if it was the other way around...if he made out with two older girls in his past or recieved head for a few seconds. Would that make him a slut? Like honestly, he is such a f***ing moron form thinking that, I bet you anyhting if it happened to him he would argue the fact that he isn't a "slut". This is ridiculous.

  • I think the problem in Tmi. I'd break up with him, and the next time you have a boyfriend, instead of saying thst you had a friend with benefits, or gave half a blowjob, just tell him you had sex. It will be easier for them to handle because they won't have enough deatils for a mental picture.

  • hahahaa sounds pretty pure to me, get a new boyfriend the one you have now is a doucher

  • dump him he's an idiot,and possibly psychotic too

  • & he sounds like a complete JERK! YOU deserves wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy BETTER!Girl Power! xo

  • Move on. Live him he's very evil.

  • A guy who disrespects you in the present for something you did in the past is a complete jealous a hole. Get rid of him.

  • if he's calling you a slut and being an asshole leave him he doesn't deserve you !You're way to good for him he should be pleasing you not calling you a slut!

  • Kissing a guy is not a bad thing I kissed a guy that was 10 years older than me.but I never gave any one a blow job and if I did I would do it to some one I would know for years not if I just met him that would be weird.

  • That guy's an asshole, break up with him.

  • i don't think there is even a reason a guy should call his girlfriend unlesshe finds you in bed with another guy.. and I don't think you should tolerate it either!your just low balling yourself he doesn't even take it back and says its your fault.. wow.sure you did things that to his eyes are bad but who hasn't and plus its your PAST not your present. you deserve something better for sure because you aren't a slut and seems like youhave good feelings! give your love to someone that is going to treat you rightand love you for you also. -good luck

  • aww I wish we were friends lol! been dying to have a mate in a similar situation as me. I've been with my man on and off for ages. got with him at 16 (a virgin) and he also has terrible jealousy issues, anger, all sorts. I'm 23 now..so you can imagine all the drama lol! and its BEEN drama! I know deeeeep inside its wrong 2 b with him and not healthy. he comes from a different up bringing than me I guess thas y he's so harsh etc...absent dad, bit of a rough upbringing etc..where as I have total opposite etc. sometimes he's amazing but then he'l just flip off the handle over something daft. like...me hugging a FRIEND...he knows its a friend..he'l flip scream yell push me..all sorts! its impossible to leave him, I feel like I've lost apart of me. feel physically ill without him but like I'm going mad wen with him! lolwe all do things we regret, in the past. I'm sure he's done things. difference is ur not holding them against him..or he's not being as honest as you and telling you straight (which is wot happend with me)..ma bf/ex always brings up the past when really I've done bugger all...hes been sly gone behind ma bk..but if I ever say about himmm doing something wrong..he'll just flip it round as usual..and say I caused it..i did it..i make him do it blah blahi say, get out of that relationship. 1 day I hope I have the strength to do the same lol x

  • I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hope that asshole finds someone just as stupid as he is because he definitely doesn't deserve an inteeligent girl like you!

  • he has jelousy issues obviously, just make it clear to him you gave ur virginity up to him not ne of the other guys, you love him and not ne of the other guys..

  • girl I'm here for you same thing almost happened to me but except my boyfriend has also a prob with my past which I was able to move on but his problem with my past is that he asks if my ex bf's were cuter than him and if I ever dd anything with them and well my boyfriend is so insecure and all he says he doesn't believe me at all but girl you ain't a slut and I TOTALLY think the same way as you how guys can do their sh*t but when it comes to girls "OH UR A SLUT" its like wtf but I know and hey maybe the break up was for the best I know ur hurttn and all but always think bout the future and wats best FOR You not him he obviously didn't make it in ur life for a reason you don't need him :) someone much better will come along that won't hate on you for ur past

  • Any man you ever encounter in your life...who puts you down and calls you names or makes you feel guilty about your past...is not worth having in your life. I know you think you love him but the fact is you probably like the stress and the drama he brings a little more. I know that sounds silly but sometimes when we're in unhealthy relationships the negative attention they give us makes us feel loved. We think that if they care enough to get upset with us that means they love us. By the way, that's the same mentality that battered women use every time they return to the men who abuse them--that is of course until one day they are killed because they went back one too many times. My point is this, regardless of what you did in the past, if you're giving him no reason to think that you're cheating on him and he is behaving this way with you---you should run, fast and remember that you're running to safe who you are as a person because unless he is right and you're doing something wrong --why would you as a woman want to stick around for the abuse. You need to remember that the strong woman you learn to be today is the strong woman who is going to teach your kids, how to treat women and demand to be treated as women. How can you do that in the future if you let someone destroy who you are today based on his inability to handle a past he was not part of.

  • You do kind of sound like a slut.. just a little but its still wrong for him to call you that

  • Im sorry to say but I don't think you should stay with him.You really don't sound like a slut at all.Most girls at my school had their legs open at 13 and they still haven't closed them and most have a baby.thats what I define as a slut.

  • You're not a slut... this guy seems like a real d*** head. wooo big deal you sort of gave a guy head. Sweet heart if you knew my past, you wouldn't call yourself a slut... I have a long history and I don't consider myself to be a slut. He seems like he just wants to fight. I'm sure you could do much better anyways

  • There are some serious red flags here. You need to take him aside and say straight up what you're saying now. Making out with older men and giving a blow job to someone does not make you a slut whatsoever. This guy needs a reality check. He seems immature and a little selfish and honestly, he is disrespecting you. If he can't get over his penis envy then you should move on, cause honey, he ain't worth your time!

  • I can understand why he would be upset. Of course, calling you a slut is pushing his boundaries, but c'mon, of course he would be jealous of you and some other guy, past or present. Yes, it was in the past, and everyone makes mistakes and LEARNS from them. Since you love him, why don't you sit down with him and TELL him that, providing that you still want to be with him after the names he called you. Sit down, talk it through, tell him that you love HIM and the past is over. Past is past, and you can't change it. If you are committed and faithful to him, he should be able to get over what happened to you previously.

  • Only peoples beliefs make them say such things or feel a certain way and it quite often is a lack of understanding but you are by no means anyhting less than a wonderful girl trying to find a way for people to understand. Your not a slut by any means, my best friend became sexually active with an older guy before she became a teenager and ended up having a beautiful baby with her loving fiance only months after she turned 16 (I don't think she is a slut either). I know her, who she is and what she's like, her beliefs and everything else and I think she is nothing short of amazing. And I'm not saying that because I think what she did was good or bad because I myself had zero expereinces like that, because of my own choosing. But what I am saying is that I know this girl, I knew her long before it happened and I hope we always remain close.Shes important to me so she can see who she likes and act how she pleases as long as she is healthy and most importantly happy because that is what should matter most and that is how your ex should have felt.

  • I know you updated saying not to respond but I just wanted to say that I can't judge because I have done similar. I was a virgin for a long time but wasn't a saint. I was fingered and gave a bj to one of my best friends. We didn't date because there wasn't a spark but he knew I was a safe bet for him and I knew he was a safe bet for him. I lost my virginity to a different guy and told him about some of the stuff just because I felt that he had the right to know since I was being sexually active with him. The point is that you aren't a slut and you know it and most people who are trying to judge has some deep secret that they don't want to share or will end up doing something similar so don't worry about them. You won't want to hear this but it's good that you and him aren't together anymore because the past is what makes you who you are and if you can't handle someone's past then you have no business dating them. You ex would have just torn you down to make you feel guilty for something that you don't have to be guilty about. I'm sure he isn't innocent himself. So move on gracefully because there will be someone better.

  • He did you a favor by breaking up with you. Any guy that can't deal with the thought of his girlfriend sexually experimenting (a tiny little bit) before he was on the scene isn't worth a damn. He's going to be weird and controlling in other ways too and you're really better off without him. Really, what you did isn't bad at all. It's his fault for not being able to handle being with someone who had experienced anything before he was around.

  • well I know you didn't want any more posts... but I still wanted to tell you my opinion.i don't think you are a slut.=)

  • then stop sleeping around? it's as simple as that

    • Learn to READ hun. I never slept around. I've only slept with my ex. And I gave half a bj to the other guy. That's hardly sleeping around. Wow. So ignorant. Sure I kissed some guys but that ISN'T sleeping around...

  • woah hunny you need to calm down. Don't be heartbroken, if it was not ment to be then it was not ment to be and any guy who calls you a slut is so not worth your time. what you did was not a slutty move and the only person who can call you a slut is yourself so don't worry about it and find a new man.

  • the best thin gfor you to do is to get out of your relationship with this guy. he is obviously not with you to be with you and if he can't see that your past is staying inthe past and he is pestering you about it, he isn't good enough for you. leave him! and find someone who will like you for you and not hate you for your past. I've been there, and it ended horribly. get out while you can

  • I have to say it is interesting how this post has received so much response and judgment when I have read some really crazy things on this site that barely get noticed. I do see that actually most of the posts are positive and people recognize that no one is perfect and what you did is just not a big deal. Teens have sex, what a shocker. I think if you are going to try and weigh-in as somehow morally superior there are way better posts on here to try and make your point, if you are in to that, lol.

  • Your guy is very insecure, very. I hardly consider having had a sexual encounter as a teen shocking or problematic. You should not feel the need to apologize to anyone here or to him. Overall guys are not fans of knowing about their girl's past sexual history so it is important to not bring up your past. It is unnecessary unless you have an STD or some issue that would affect your new relationship. In your case, your guy apparently wanted a virgin so much that he cannot stand the idea of you having been with anyone in anyway and that is extreme. He has a problem and a big one and it will cause him future issues as well. Sorry to hear about the breakup but, really, you should have broken up with him. I would never accept a boyfriend or husband calling me such a name and neither should you.

  • girl...that is a tough one...You have to let him know that it is unacceptable to call you a slut. If he continues...hold out on him. Tell him you need to mend your slutty ways and you are starting by holding out on sex and everything else, thanks to his advice.

  • Being 15 and making mistakes like that is incredibly common. Hell, I did things I'm not proud of with a guy when I was 14, too, and I regret it a lot. What you did wasn't that slutty, especially compared to what other girls do at 15. Okay, messing around with older guys, who took advantage of an innocent, younger girl, was probably a bad idea, but first relationship experiences are generally forgiven, because people learn from them.In order to be a slut, you have to at least have been willing to sleep with these guys. At least. You would probably have to do a lot worse, too.The fact that he called you a slut and refused to listen to you says that this guy probably isn't worth it.

  • You are not a slut.People who degrade other people based on sexual history are insecure with themselves.Anyways,no guy should degrade his girlfriend.What he said was disrespectful and degrading and completely out of line.He's a hypocrite and his actions were no better or any worse than yours,and he is no one to place judgment upon you.Break up with him.This isn't your problem,it's his.Your past is your history and has made you who you are today,whether you can accept your past is up to you.If you can accept your past and what you have done,and you realize,it's happened,it's done,it's over with,then all is good.You just have to own up to your actions and behaviors.But that doesn't mean you are a "slut" or "whore" or anything in between.It just means you were a teenager,a curious one at that.It was his issue and insecurity,and he took that out on you.

  • This fellow has problems and they are hard to know which ones they are.It could be that he is innocently jealous, and says stupid things, but someone like that would usually regret it. And appologise, and just plain fantasing about this when all you said was tat you were star gazing is very creepy, and if you ask me dangerous.He could be the type of fellow that is so insecure that he is consciously trying to destroy your self esteem because it makes himself feel better about however he thinks of himself. And when you have low self esteem he may think you will not leave him.He may just have something against women.He may get a sick kick out of treating women like crap, degrading them.I don't know how you'd go about dealing with this, but I think you need to get out. If he is THAT jealous, you never know what he future will hold for you, and it doesn't sound nice.If he is doing this on purpose you'll never have him stop calling you a slut till the day you are no longer his GF, he needs to change on the inside, he needs to understand what he is doing is wrong and by the sound of it, he never will.Oh and the more you allow him to speak to you like that the more he will do it... there are boundaries, and he is pushing them further and further back and you are allowing it... you don't need to explain yourself to him... all that is need say when he speaks to you that way again is this... "I've put up with you talking to me like this in the past because I had hoped that you would see that my faithfulness is real, that I love you and have no intention of being with other men, I will not spend a moment longer explaining myself to you, if you want this relationship to continue you will not speak to me in that manner again, you have the problem, go f***ing deal with it, if you think I'm a slut, you don't trust me, then leave me, there is no point spending any more time arguing about crap when we could be having a good time together."

  • hey, I know you don't want anymore people commenting- so everyone if you read this don't comment because I get my last words :D haha jks jks but don't because she's had enough. but I wanted to say your welcome :) add me hon, you can talk to me if you want, that way you won't get anymore bull sht:D<3

  • well I went out with a 19 year old we stop talking when he was 21 but yeah I realised I was wrong I'm still a virgin an all but I regret what I did I asked god to forgive me and put it in gods handsas for that I only told one guy what I did and he didn't take it so nicely so I let him goit was the past I know it was bad but if you can't forgive what I donethen there is no point of me being with youi gave head slutty I know and I was a totally good girl till I met himi felt kinda used but I was glad I didn't give him my virginity I used to be so so sad about it but now I forgot about it put it in my pastand I will never go out with an older guy again to much trouble

  • Honey, you may not want to break up with the guy, but any man who treats you like that is a guy you do not need to be with! Yes its a double standard and unfortunately, we women are asked to live up to them because of idiotic men. You are not a slut! A slut would have a hell of a lot more experience than you. It sounds as if he's either insecure with himself and your relationship and wants you to feel bad as well, or he's the type who likes put women down to make himself feel better. Either way, that is pyschological abuse! It's ABUSE! Psychological abuse is in many ways far worse than anything physical and should be treated seriously. Being with this guy may hurt you, but think about how it affects those around you as well, even in a secondary way (your bad mood because of him, your insecurities because of him, etc) that they have to deal with.

  • Show More
Loading...