I was molested as an 11 year old?

I was sexually touched/molested by a person when I was 11. A guy touched my penis and cupped my balls for a couple of seconds, in a train while I was sleeping. He retreated after that. Is this something serious which requires therapy or I can have a healthy sex life without thinking much about it?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think that's OK, just forget it. My cousins (a guy as well as a girl) have already grabbed my dick when I was sleeping. It's nothing, just some of their sexual fantasies/ curiosity probably. Hmm.. if you want to hear, then, in my country in the past, child abuse was not even a crime and underage boys (not girls) were harassed and humiliated especially by the older women (pretending to punish them for whatever reason), stripped them in public and beaten up etc. -- I'm sure they had some sadistic and sexual pleasure by molesting & beating up the boys. And no one even thought that was bad, leave alone, it being a crime/ rape. There was too much of a double standard, and they even thought that it's a very effective way (of disciplining) by humiliate boys and make them naked before girls and women (so that "boys will learn to be respectful towards girls"). Even today, if an adult has sex with an underage boy, I don't think there are strict laws that consider that as statutory rape. There are only laws to protect girls, and nothing which protect the dignity of boys (very unfair). And I think this clearly explains the high frequency of rapes still happening here (see how boys really "learned to respect women" by raping them).

    • oh really sorry to hear that, how old were your cousins? I was wondering that is it something that could scar me for life... cause I didn't even remember the incident for years until a month back, and just some days ago I started to get a little bothered by it. Which country are you from? in my country also child abuse is hardly considered as something serious and is considered as something necessary to discipline the child.

    • When my male cousin grabbed me, me and him were too small -- just kids of 5-8 years old I think. Female cousin grabbed me when I was probably around 11-15 years and she was 9-12 years. It just happened when we (kids/ teenagers) slept together. Anyway, it didn't bother me as I know both girls and guys of that age have sexual curiosities. However, if it were an adult male, I would have felt a bit creepy. However, it would be his problem, not mine, so, wouldn't still bother me later on. I'm from India (and the culture is conservative and sexually restrained, and it leads to so many problems, even rape). Even today, the double standard exists (though publicly humiliating young boys have almost vanished) and the laws are still very biased and unfair. More than 95% of times, laws like IPC 498 A are misused by women (they were made "to protect them") and the feminazi politicians are not changing them even when many innocent men's lives are screwed up and are committing suicide due to it.

    • well in my case the guy was a grown up man in his mid or late twenties I guess, so I'm a bit creeped out, I kind of see it as an insult to my masculinity, I was doing okay before I remembered it quite a few months back, then forgot about it again, and I again remembered it some days back, I don't know if it can affect me on a sub-conscious level. I've never had a girlfriend but have never thought that this incident has anything to do with it, but I could be wrong...

  • You can totally have a healthy normal sex life with out thinking about it much BUT you should still visit the therapist and talk about with him or her. Think about it like this. You get diagnosed with an irregular heart rhythm, it could be nothing maybe it usually is nothing but even if 1% of the time it's the type of thing that needs to be fixed wouldn't you still go to the cardiologist just to get it checked out?

    • yeah I was thinking that visiting a therapist wouldn't hurt, but my work schedule is so tight it can get difficult to give time to a therapist, and I don't know if there are any good therapist in my area.

    • You're mental well being and ability to have healthy relationships will be worth it. Get some referrals from your primary care physician and go ahead and call the offices to see if this is something they're familiar with, then decide which one based on that. Good Luck!

    • will do thanks for the support :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Every one handles these things differently.
    Although there are way worse scenarios , you know your self best.
    I can't tell you how you should deal with something like this.

    Do that incident effect your life?
    Do you feel vulnerable?
    Are you hurt?
    Do you feel insecure because of it?
    Do you constantly dwell on it, or cry a lot thinking about it?
    Do you feel anger and rage?

    I can't tell you how you should feel.
    Personally, I would feel violated but that feeling would be short lived.
    I would try to be more aware of my surroundings (especially in public).

    • well the problem is I didn't even remember it for years, until recently I was sitting in a train, lost in my thoughts as usual when it suddenly stuck me that I was in fact molested. I haven't had any of the post traumatic symptoms like nightmares, anxiety or depression... but my love life hasn't been great but I have other reasons for that. So I was wondering whether getting fondled as a child is such a serious thing that it'll affect me subconsciously.

  • That depends on you, but not in a way that's in your control. You might be perfectly fine and capable of handling it on your own; you might do better for the chance to talk it over with a professional. There's nothing wrong with you for any of it either way.

    • well I didn't even remember the incident until recently when I was actually travelling in a train. I know if that would have happened to me as an adult I would have brushed off the incident probably after punching or threatening the guy, but since I was only 11 at the time I was wondering if getting fondled is really that serious to affect me subconsciously. I've not had any serious psychological issues (I have gotten into some fist fights that's all), but I've never had a girlfriend (though I doubt if it has anything to do with this incident)

    • I mean, it really depends on the person. The examples I'm most familiar with are pretty close to home -I was in a situation fairly similar to yours, and while the sexual aspect didn't leave me with much trauma, the circumstances under which it occurred left me with some MASSIVE trust issues. A friend of mine was raped when he was twelve, and while it led to some pretty huge changes in his life, he does not feel that it impacts upon his ability to form relationships with other people. He's been in and out of therapy for a while since then; I've never had the opportunity. I guess the questions I'd be looking at in your shoes are: Why'd you remember? Is remembering causing any sort of change in your life? Do you WANT to talk it over with someone? What, specifically, are you concerned about -and why?

    • I my case the person was a complete stranger so I don't think I have trust issues... I just remembered it a couple of months back and it has been bothering me a little bit for last two or three days, I see it some how as an insult to my masculinity for some reason... sorry to hear about you, if you don't mind can you tell me what happened in your situation and how did you deal with it?

    • Show All
  • You don't need therapy unless you have issues with it. I was inappropriately touched when I was younger, it caused a few issues but I've sorted that out now. Without therapy.

    • sorry to hear... do you mind me asking what happened and how did you deal with it? is it okay if I message you?

    • I don't think I am the best person to talk to about it.

    • okay cause your input would have been helpful, I hardly think that anyone who hasn't experienced something such as this would be able to give me good advise...

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 3
  • I think you could live a normal life

    • so it isn't that serious right?

    • not really, not compared to what a lot of people go through

    • yes it is just a slight as compared to what some really unfortunate people go through, but is this something that can scar me for life?

    • Show All
  • I was molested by my cousin. I don't remember what age. All I know is that he came to me while I was sleeping over as our family is close like that. And he laid next to me. I don't know or remember if he said anything to me. I didn't realize what he was doing to me until it was too late to report it. I'm not sure if this has affected me negatively, but sadly I think it has.

    • really sorry to hear about it... this is quite identical to my situation, how old was your cousin? it happened to me when I was sleeping and I always had the habit of going into deep sleep, so for many years I didn't even knew if I was molested until some months back when I realised that in fact I was... now I'm wondering the same thing whether it will affect me in anyway or not, and whether I'll be able to have a good life ahead...

    • My cousin was almost 2 years older than me. I think I was just about to become a teenager. He might have already become one.

    • okay in my case the guy was in his mid twenties I guess, the sad thing is that I can hardly recall him, did you try any therapy?

    • Show All
  • See a professional. For anyone that would traumatizing.

    • okay so you think that it could seriously affect me on a sub-conscious level...

    • It can. Imagine you have a cut, It can be tiny but if you don't disinfect it probably it might get worse.