If I were to give a blowjob, would I gain or lose respect from the guy??

[Anonymous]

I'm in love with my boyfriend and he is in love with me (he actually told me first - after only 2 months, and I didn't return the sentiment for another month). He is a real gentleMAN and has a lot of great qualities. So, I've had a little experience with other guys before, but he's my first love and sex (and more importantly, he's the first guy I actually enjoy kissing and can actually connect with intelligently!). What I'm saying is that things are good and all. However, I'm a little worried about giving in to my curiosity about giving a blowjob. Since he's the gentleman/super-nice/respectful guy, I'm worried how he might view/treat me differently if I were to do that. Also, he told me that he's never come just from a blowjob (he's only had one previous girlfriend/sexual partner). And yes, he joked (only) once that while we were making out and I was sucking his nipple, he said "I know what else you could be sucking," and he laughed. But, since he's the "nice guy" and he doesn't even want to slap my ass when I ask him, should I cross this line or not? GUYS: Your opinions PLEASE! THANK YOU! Also, I'm not sure if "I" am even okay with doing it - I've heard the idea that you only do it to get a guy to like you. Well, my guy LOVES me and we ARE fine with everything else, so, what's the point? I just want to please him and him want to please me, and I AM curious, so, opinions on if he might lose respect OR respect me more!?!?! Ha! :P THANKS!

[blah12345]

I don't think he will think of you as any less of person just because you give him a bj. I consider myself a respectable/ nice guy and love my girlfriend very much. It doesn't make her any less of an amazing person that she is just because she wants to pleasure me in that way. Also if you are nervous about giving a good one just let him know. Tell him to let you know what feels good or what you can do to make it feel better. No need to feel embarrassed if its your first one.

[Asker]

This is the best answer so far because it actually answers my question. THANKS!!!!!!!

[blah12345]

Ha no problem good luck!

[Littletad]

I think you have far more to work on than a blowjob at this point. It's only been two months, and you both are seemingly shy and slow moving. A blowjob will only entice him to move much more sexually in the relationship. If you've already had sex though, then I don't see the problem.

[Asker]

I didn't say we've only been together 2 months. That was in reference to him telling me he loves me. And then "I" said that "I" waited another month to tell HIM. Truthfully, my birthday was last week and that was our SIX month anniversary. And because of STD testing and birth control we waited until almost our fifth month anniversary. This is the first relationship that I'm actually taking slow because I am trying to respect MYSELF and not being overpowered by unspoken pressure from the guy.

[Asker]

So, with this new info, what would be your opinion?

[Littletad]

If you've been together for 6 months, why the std testing? Has he had many sexual partners, or yourself? I suppose your being safe, and I applaud you for being moralistic. Or at least trying to remain respectful towards yourself. The only problem I see here is that these sort of things come naturally. My ex did it with me after 4 months. And she felt completely comfortable and trustworthy of me. Enough so to do it. And if your still insure, this says a lot.

[Asker]

Well, besides his possible surprised/confused/loss-of-respect reaction, since I've never done it before, I'd have to fake my confidence until I've done it a few times and am comfortable doing it. I'm worried I might accidentally bite him, gag, turn him off, etc. and also the possible icky taste worries me. Since I've never done it, I'd just have to dive in and rely on prior knowledge of other people's techniques which he may or may not like and I may or may not even remember. Haha :)

[ArtistBboy]

You would gain respect - a majority of men like blowjobs. If he denies you the ability to perform oral on him, then he already respects you - A LOT.

This doesn't mean if he allows you, that he doesn't respect you.

Best regards,

ArtistBBoy

[Asker]

So, what kind of guy would you describe yourself? Would you consider yourself much like the way I described my boyfriend? Or, if you are different - how do you think my type of guy would react?

[ArtistBboy]

He would be thrilled and not know what to do with himself. Imagine a 3 year old child's expression when he seeings Disneyland in person. (Okay maybe not that weird, but he will enjoy it none-the-less)

[Asker]

Is that saying true, "any blowjob is a good blowjob"?!?!? I don't mean literally - because I might spazz and hurt him or something. But, IF that doesn't happen, I guess would it at least help him bond with me even more (whether he finishes or not, I guess)?

[ArtistBboy]

No - bonding has nothing to do with BJ's... Bonding comes from interaction with that individual; i.e. go on walks with him, or talking with him about your goals, etc... If he is busy - this won't happen very often - so be patient and willing. You have your whole life to find that "special" individual.

[Asker]

Well, we know each other rather well - it was long distance at first and we've always talked a lot. I meant that it builds a sexual connection more so with each interaction. And, haha, IS "any blowjob a good blowjob"?!?!! haha :P

[ArtistBboy]

Most BJ's are good - but others are not

[GIntrovert]

He won't loose any respect for you 6 months into a relationship, if you decide to do that. If it was your first date, he might.