I want to have sex.. Should I?

[greenapple308]

I'm in high school. I'm single right now, I have a friend (with benefits) who I've done a lot with, not sex though. I only like him as a friend but I'm super attracted to him physically, and he feels the same way about me. He's not a virgin, but I am. I know neither of us want a relationship, I'm 100% positive that's true. But I really, really want to have sex. I've heard all that "it's better if you're in love for your first time" sh*t. Is that true? I don't doubt that it's better if you're in love, but it'll still be better if you're in love, even if it's not your first time. One reason I want to have sex is that I want to get it over with. I feel like if I get in a really serious relationship with a guy and both of us are virgins, it will be really difficult and we won't know what to do. It could maybe even ruin a relationship. Cause if I lose my virginity to a guy I'm in love with, then he ends up breaking my heart, I think it would be a lot harder to get over him, knowing that I lost my virginity to him. Also, I think sex looks really fun, ha. I don't think I'd have emotional problems because it's not that I want to have sex with HIM personally. I mean I do obviously cause I'm really physically attracted to him, but it's not that I have a desire to have sex with him. I just want to have sex. Do you think I'd get emotionally attached? And please explain what is meant by sex's emotional meaning/consequences.. I'm not asking if I should stay friends with benefits with him, I'm asking if I should lose my virginity to him. I've done everything with a guy though except sex. Thanks!

[CuriousEd]

Wanting to have sex is normal.

But yes, sex is much better in a meaningful relationship. It can change a relationship, help a relationship grow, and if there are problems as a result of it (whatever they might be), you want to be with someone who is there, not a one night stand.

And yeah, your first time is special. Even if you don't think so know, you might feel differently 20 years from now. We remember first dates, first cars, first loves, first apartments -- but when we say "our first", we know what it means.

You will not be in a relationship with someone and find that the relationship is ruined because you are a virgin, whether he is or not.

Sex is fun. There's a lot you can do before you lose your virginity, though... a lot you can do by yourself, too! ;)

I'm not saying you have to wait until marriage -- that's for you to decide. Some waiting until they feel they are in love, some wait until they found the person they want to marry, and the reality is that many don't wait. I think you'll feel better if you consider waiting a little longer, until you recognize what about is important to you.

[gotc147]

If you want to, go right ahead, two consenting adults, nobody can stop you.

The reason people of both genders talk about getting emotionally attached after having sex is because of their own belief system and conditioning. People who believe that way were always taught that sex is supposed to be special, people like me who discovered sex through porn simply don't feel the emotional attachment that others do. I don't need to have sex with someone to be in love with them and I don't need to be in love with them (or even have a crush on them) to have sex with them.

There aren't any consequences unless you let there be, use protection obviously, but it seems you can separate casual sex from lovers sex, something most people can't do, you should be fine.

[peace-love-couture]

No.

You have a gut feelings of an emotional attachment with your partner and getting hurt if he breaks up with you.That means you could form an emotional attachment to any of your partners,you may think at this point if it's a best guy friend,you wouldn't feel anything towards him,but sex changes things.It can change your emotions towards your partner(especially if you lost your v-card to him),your relationship with him,your feelings towards yourself and actions.

Yes sex can be fun,but when you're a virgin,it's easy to say so many things.It's easy to say oh I won't get attached" or "I just want pleasure" but then it happens,and you feel the opposite of what you thought you would feel.

My advice to you,would be save yourself for someone who loves you and cares about you(of course vice versa) and who you trust.If you break up,life goes on,you'll recover with time.Then from there on,you can take more charge of your sexuality

[SkinnerOne]

Here is some old person advise...

Sex changes everything.

[BeHappy1985]

Yes you should...

https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o

[Guyongoogle]

Ill like to also have sex with a girl some day.