How to get my wife to give me oral sex?

OK. I wouldn't mind any and all suggestions on how I can talk my wife into giving me some much wanted oral sex!

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • You need to have a conversation with her about why she doesn't want to. Keep this casual and its a good idea to have it out of the bedroom in a more casual, less aggressive and demanding way. You want to do it in a way that makes her think that you really appreciate and love her, that you enjoyed any bj/manual stimulation she ever did, that you think oral sex is healthy and fun part of a relationship. KEEP IT POSITIVE. But try to find out why she's not doing it. While you obviously can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do, understanding her can help you and her make changes and better satisfy each other. I suspect it is probably one of these reasons: A) You don't give her oral either. Solution: START! B) She isn't knowledgeable about it/has very little experience & is consequently shy about it. She needs some pointers & ego boosters. Try to get her to start off by playing with your penis a little, not give a full blow job but stimulate you with her mouth as part of foreplay - that way there is less pressure on her to finish you off and she can experiment and have fun. Simple suggestions in an "oh-my-god-that feels-so-good" voice (like harder or something about location etc) will help modify her techniques and let you only ever tell her she did a good job. Compliment her on her work. Specific compliments about the parts you like best will probably ensure you get a lot more of that. Oh and don't hold in your enjoyment. You don't have to be noisy about it, but I really like it when guys obviously react to the different things I'm doing. It helps me know what that specific guy likes. Also make sure she is in a comfortable position while she is working on you (if she's kneeling ask if she'd like a pillow or something soft) and do NOT push her head ever ever ever. C) She has been brought up thinking that it is a trashy thing to do. This is hard to change, but telling her you don't think so, letting her know it is something you would really enjoy and would feel was an expression of her love for you etc might help. It might also help if you start going down on her or talk about why you like to do that. You need to try to gently re-educate her (in a nice way) on this. D) She is grossed out by some aspect of it - possibly the faint scent, having cum in her mouth, etc. Solution: take a shower before you two get physical & keep yourself neatly trimmed. You can also suggest that she finishes with her hand, that she spits, etc depending on her specific issues. If she has issues with cum, tell her when you are getting to the end so that she can prepare/switch to using her hand, etc. E) She's one of those evil women who thinks that bjs should only be used as a special treat for a guy when he's done something particularly nice, when she wants something etc. She wants to use them to control you and your relationship and is selfish. If that's the case, I'm not sure anyone can help. I'm really sorry for you.

What Girls Said 6

  • haha. get in line!

  • Well, you have to give to get. If you give and she doesn't give you, you should talk with her about how you would like oral sex also. I would say be open and honest about what you want, communication is everything. Good luck sweetie.

  • Honestly I am full virgin though I have given head before to a longterm ex boyfriend , and I love it xDits so fun seriously just to know I am pleasuring my man is enough for me,I never crave oral from a men personally I could give a f less if he returned the favor,I don't believe give a little get a little xD wtf. Anyway I don't have any advice for you exceptjust wanted to share I like given it lots. so she shouldn't mind if she is your wife!

  • What? She doesn't do it to you? That's very unusual especially for women cause that's the thing. Are you doing it to her? If so, she is very selfish to not want to do it to you. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and what you want in bed. That's part of marriage. Communication and everything needs to be 50/50. If she still doesn't want to do it, tell her you want do it to her no more, cut off from the sex a little bit. Make her realize how much this is important to you. It'll make her mad cause she not getting what she wants. Good. Its not all about her. Its about y'all as one because y'all are married. She id suppose to compromise and cater to you just as much as you cater to her. So, like I said, if she won't change her selfish ways, then you make some changes in bed. Let her know that your serious and she needs to at least try to satisfy you the way you want. With that said, there are so many women out there that would go down on you without you even asking. Its normal but if you are so in love with your wife, then I guess you'll stay with her not completely satisfied with the sex life. I don't know but if it is really bothering you and she just don't care, divorce her. I know that sounds mean over sex but sex is very important in a relationship and if you stay with her, you may search elsewhere for just that reason which then you would b cheating on her. You get it? So, stay and keep complaining about it or do something about it cause your wife is very rare to not do that. Very. Think about it

  • Easy, just ask her. "Hun, I would love if it if you. " Say it when she's really turned on and eager to please. Afterwards you have to let her know how much you enjoyed it or she'll never do it again.

  • Wow - okay. Well there are a couple suggestions, but take all with a grain of salt and on a FWIW basis. Number one is be sure to go down on her on a regular basis. Eventually she should want to return the favor. If she doesn't, then have an open conversation with her about it. Not in the midst of anything heated, but on completely neutral ground (so to speak) so she doesn't feel pressured or trapped or dirty. Keep it casual and respectful, and come at it from the perspective of genuinely wanting to understand why she doesn't like to do it, if there's anything you're not doing right (wives do respond to humbleness) and whether there's anything you can do to help her out with whatever the issue is. Another thing to keep in mind that you're more likely to get head as part of foreplay than you are by itself for its own sake. That needs to come later (excuse the pun). If you do any dirty talk you might casually whisper "I'd really like it if you. " fill in blank. If she doesn't, that's okay, shrug it off and try again later. Don't press the issue. You probably already know the following, but one can never tell. Please don't be offended. There are a few obvious things you need to do to make the experience nice for her too. 1) Make sure you're clean. Very clean. Women are extremely sensitive to scent, good and bad. 2) Grounds keeping. Extent is a personal thing, but start with a tight clean trimming all round. It's more attractive, and nobody likes hair in their mouth. 3) Do not grab her head. It's degrading (unless that's her thing). Caressing her cheek or gently holding her hair out of her face are different, and actually very welcome. 4) If it happens, it's got to be on her terms. "How about a BJ" before you leave for work isn't going to cut it so don't even try. It has to be an empowering experience for her. Whatever you do, you have to be careful not to make her feel pressured or defensive. Some women just feel subjugated by it, or have been socialized to think it's dirty, in which case you need to work that hang-up out with her. Hopefully some reciprocity will help in that area. Respect is always #1.

What Guys Said 4

  • I just ran into this site link maybe that can help you :)

  • Ok here's the plan try talking to her.if your giving her oral and she's not going down on you.And if after you talking to her she refuses.Make her choose between giving a blow job or you'll get from someonethat enjoys it.Put your foot down and have some BALLS

  • It's easy give her it's your way or the highway

  • We're rowing the same boat here. I don't know how it will work out for you but good luck. I just wanted to respond to some of the female suggestions here. They're good ones. To FMfatale, I did all of what you suggested. The talking about needs and reciprocation, not being confrontational, not putting on pressure, cleanliness, timing, all the good relationship stuff. And all because I love her, but it didn't get me far. She did acquiesce on a couple of occasions for about a minute. It was lousy but I never told her that. Did all the right stuff and told her how good it felt and thanked her for doing it and all that good supportive stuff. Still nothing. When we had any talks about it (and they were few because she absolutely refused to to talk about it) she would just screw up her face and let out an "ewww". Which indicated the end of the conversation and she would get mad at me if I tried to continue it. Now, she loves receiving oral and I give it to her often because I love doing it. So I'm not going to deny her because it's actually denying me. It has me moody a lot lately because I feel that, in this area, mutuals needs are not being satisfied. Breaking up with her has crossed my mind several times in the last year. I don't want to give her an ultimatum. Give me oral or give me my freedom. That sounds so shallow, but it bugs the crap outta me. When it comes down to it, I think what bothers me most is not the fact that I'm not getting it, it's the fact that she won't give it to me. When we first hooked up, she did it without me even asking, so I guess she realizes that it's something guys want. And that pisses me off too. Damn, I'm going into the next room and smack her:) Not really:)

    • If she did it when you first hooked up and she does not do it now, that is "Bait and Switch". False promise. Even, promise broken.

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