How to get my wife to give me oral sex?

OK. I wouldn't mind any and all suggestions on how I can talk my wife into giving me some much wanted oral sex!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to have a conversation with her about why she doesn't want to. Keep this casual and its a good idea to have it out of the bedroom in a more casual, less aggressive and demanding way. You want to do it in a way that makes her think that you really appreciate and love her, that you enjoyed any bj/manual stimulation she ever did, that you think oral sex is healthy and fun part of a relationship. KEEP IT POSITIVE. But try to find out why she's not doing it. While you obviously can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do, understanding her can help you and her make changes and better satisfy each other.

    I suspect it is probably one of these reasons:

    A) You don't give her oral either. Solution: START!

    B) She isn't knowledgeable about it/has very little experience & is consequently shy about it. She needs some pointers & ego boosters. Try to get her to start off by playing with your penis a little, not give a full blow job but stimulate you with her mouth as part of foreplay - that way there is less pressure on her to finish you off and she can experiment and have fun. Simple suggestions in an "oh-my-god-that feels-so-good" voice (like harder or something about location etc) will help modify her techniques and let you only ever tell her she did a good job. Compliment her on her work. Specific compliments about the parts you like best will probably ensure you get a lot more of that. Oh and don't hold in your enjoyment. You don't have to be noisy about it, but I really like it when guys obviously react to the different things I'm doing. It helps me know what that specific guy likes. Also make sure she is in a comfortable position while she is working on you (if she's kneeling ask if she'd like a pillow or something soft) and do NOT push her head ever ever ever.

    C) She has been brought up thinking that it is a trashy thing to do. This is hard to change, but telling her you don't think so, letting her know it is something you would really enjoy and would feel was an expression of her love for you etc might help. It might also help if you start going down on her or talk about why you like to do that. You need to try to gently re-educate her (in a nice way) on this.

    D) She is grossed out by some aspect of it - possibly the faint scent, having cum in her mouth, etc. Solution: take a shower before you two get physical & keep yourself neatly trimmed. You can also suggest that she finishes with her hand, that she spits, etc depending on her specific issues. If she has issues with cum, tell her when you are getting to the end so that she can prepare/switch to using her hand, etc.

    E) She's one of those evil women who thinks that bjs should only be used as a special treat for a guy when he's done something particularly nice, when she wants something etc. She wants to use them to control you and your relationship and is selfish. If that's the case, I'm not sure anyone can help. I'm really sorry for you.

    Asker upvoted
    • Ok, I enjoy oral sex and I wish my wife would be more adventuresome in the bedroom. Before we got married, she was a lot more willing to experiment in the bedroom including oral sex. Things started to get "colder" in the bedroom after our first child was born and really "cold" after the second child. She only will do the traditional sexual position and refuses to have any conversation about sexual topics. I'm with this guy, how do I get her into the "fun & experimental" thing in the bedroom again? I also read through several of the ladies responses... thanks I have tried to "talk" with my wife about what her push-back is about oral sex and any thing different in the bedroom. I hit a wall with her because she refuses to discuss the topic. It is like it is tabu to discuss. She won't even let me do it to her or stimulate her that much before we do "it". So as I say, before we got married, she was so much more fun!