How can I get my wife's sex drive back?

Ever since my wife started have kids her sex drive has went down to nothing? We need help on any way to bring it back because really started to affect our married.

Updates:
I tell her she sexy all the time because she is and help her as must as I can but it seem it don't work.
 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I defiantly lost my sex drive after I had my son I was tired taking care of him and I worked too. So the best thing you can do is help her if you don't. Put the kids to bed for her so she can have some unwind time then she might be a bit more ready for sex. Also do make sure you tell her how great she looks because a woman's body changes so much it is hard to feel beautiful after all that. A date night is a really good idea too. Set aside some time away from your kids. If you have family around send your kids there for the day or night so you two have alone time. Also if she has changed her birth control method that can have a big effect on sex drive.

    • Okay so you say you help out but do you really? Step back and evaluate it. My son's dad thinks he is helping out because he picked him up from daycare some random day or mabye gave him a bath once during the week. I am not saying you are not helping but I think men sometimes have a messed up reality of how much they really are helping. Do you ask her what can I do today to help you? Also have you asked her why she thinks she doesn't want sex? Are you making her feel bad whenever she says no?

What Girls Said 8

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  • I know I am a little late as this question was asked a month ago..hopefully resolved. Anyway, try Maca Root. It is a natural Peruvian herb. If you research it, you will find that it is an adaptogen. Meaning it REGULATES your homones to their NATURAL balance, it does not change them at all. Maca Root has been used for years by most men and women and is mostly attributed to increased sex drive. I would reccommend pills because the powder is truly disgusting (in my opinion). LOL. Anyway, you can further research it but I can gaurantee it will send her sex drive (and yours) through the roof. Be careful if you are not looking to reproduce at the moment, it also makes women very fertile. It can be found at your local health food store or ordered online. Hope this helps. P.S. Maca is a herb/food, they it regularly in South America, so you can't "overdose". *Vote Heartless for best answer* :D

  • Maybe ask her what she wants and what her fantasies are. Or do some romantic things for her. You might have to go to a counselor as well. I'm sorry things aren't going so well.

  • yea telling a woman she's sexy isn't going to cut it though. try to look at the health factor too. are you in shape and attractive and is she also? have you guys had a discussion? also look into natural health food store remedies-that might help too.

  • This is a hard one. One big issue is when a woman starts seeing herself as a "mom" and not a lover, well they act like a mom. Mom's raise kids, they don't get freaky. It is real hard to switch gears between being a sex-less mom to a sexy hot mama. I know guys who complain that even helping around the house and taking care of the kids still doesn't get their sexy wives back. Some women are just so burnt out they just lose all interest in sex until their kids are much older and not relying on them so much. I know 2 women whose husbands encourage them to go out (they are best friends) and have nights on the town pretty regularly. These gals get all dressed up, they look sexy, they feel like they did when they were younger, they drink, dance and flirt but at the end of the night they go home to their hubbies for all the rest. Not all men or women would be comfortable with this, but there is something about that process that can remind couples about what it was like when they were dating.

  • I disagree with curious chick. I think you need to prioritize your marriage over the kids because if your marriage is happy that what makes a happy family. Get your mom to watch the kids wile you take her on a surprise weekend vaca and I'm sure some sparks will fly!

  • She might just be completely exhausted from taking care of the kids. Not sure how you both have arranged work, housework, and caring for your children, but if she's ending up handling more of the tasks, she could simply be wiped out at the end of the day (consequently, finding ways to help her out so she has some relaxation time could help her out). Further, parents often get so distracted by the kids, they forget to have a little romance. Make an effort to schedule dates, get a babysitter for the kids, so that you two can have some alone time and reconnect on non-kid stuff.Though the following is a controversial sentiment, I do think it's true: Parents make a mistake in prioritizing their kids over their marriage. The more you focus on your kids and forget each other, the more your marriage will struggle; in the long run, if your marriage suffers, your kids will then suffer. Taking care of your kids is a given, but prioritize making time for each other and romance... and in the long run, your kids will be better and happier for it. A minister (and father) made this point during a marriage ceremony, and while some in the audience seemed to have negative reactions, I thought he was quite right.

    • TOTALLY AGREED!

  • If your wife works or is a stay at home mom. You need to have a date night so you can spend time together with out the kids. After women has babies they become there main focus. Do you tell her how beautiful she is to you and how much you desire her? You need to show her that and be patient.

What Guys Said 6

  • maybe she's stressed out. when she has to deal with all your kids and work, she doesn't have time to energize. surprise her, do all the chores, get a babysitter, start doing romantic things. it might not happen at first, but the lifestyle change will surely get you 2 going!

  • First hing to do is note that giving birth takes a lot out out you; not just mentally and physically, but manditory protins. Have her get a blood workup and see what she's missing, what's lower than the norm. If that doesn't work then start having her eat home-cooked meals with meat, fruit, veggies every single meal as well as orange juice and milk in the morning. If she smokes have her on a pushup/situp 10 for morning, 10 for lunch, 10 for dinner or given if she doesn't smoke. These will help her get her sex drive back, but also show her your support, she migth care for the children more than she does for you so you needto let her know you love her and help with the children. Women lose a lot of everything after birth - the best thing is to get her in tip top shape. Some women might even consider their life complete after birth. I hope this helps, and gl

  • Greet her with a hug and a kiss, rub her back when you two hugs, be more "touchy feely" and most importantly pick up on doing a lot of the house work and help out with the kids, because she's probably exhausted.

  • How many kids?Stop and think about it. Would you be anxious to take part in an activity that might make YOU have to go through that 9 month marathon again? Then add another mouth to care for into your already overloaded work load?

  • First of all you need to be clear with her that if your relationship is to be strong and lasting that sex is IMPORTANT and if she doesn't take care of your needs your relationship is going to suffer. Then suggest that you guys have sex even when she's tired. That means you doing the work:) As you're doing it or after ask how she's enjoying it and suggest that you do it more often since she's enjoying it. Shit if she can find the time to do the sh*t in her life that don't give her pleasure she should be able to find the time to do the things that do. LIFE IS SHORT-F*CK HARD! My wife was the same right after the kid but we made a point to have sex anyway. Sex builds upon more sex and great sex builds upon more great sex. I always make a point to tell my wife that when we first met she was never to tired for sex regardless of how little sleep she's had. Being in a successful relationship means you have to keep doing the things that attracted your mate in the first place. If you're not, that opens the door for someone else...I'm not sure what the deal is with your situation but it seems that if your wife wants to have a long-lasting relationship with you she'll place at least as much importance on this as with the other things in her life (job etc.). If she's not willing to do this she's probably not in love with you anymore or f***ing someone else. For your sake I hope neither is true and you get this worked out. FYI - My wife and I went through this for a few months but now are back into the swing of things (sex probably 4-5 x wk). Also someone suggested going to the gym. This is soo true also. Nothing like a good workout to get the juices flowing. Just save some energy though.

  • buy her some sexy lingerie maybe ? another thing that might help is for her to get some more energy and exercise , like joining a gym or simply going for walks / outdoors exercise might help

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