Caught by my brothers giving my boyfriend head... please help me.

I've been with my first boyfriend now for about 7 months and we finally decided to take our relationship to the next step. I am 17 and he is 23. None of my family knew about us because they would NEVER let me be with a guy older than 18. I am the only daughter in the family with two older brothers... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, that's a rough situation, but it has only got one possible solution, you have to talk to them about it. I'm not sure how old/experienced they are, but I'm sure they understand sexual desire.

    If you tell them the truth, starting with the fact that you have been with this guy seven months prior to doing anything sexual, they may be able to understand. Right now they seem angry, but at the root of that anger if fear, fear that they have failed as brothers to protect and know you. From their point of view, you just met this guy, since you have kept him secret, and they think you are acting like a slut, which would make them bad brothers. Explain your feelings, explain that you took your time getting to this point, and gave it due consideration, and they may be able to see that you are not acting badly, just have unfortunate timing.

    Talk to them, tell them how you feel about this person, especially if they disapprove. They don't need to approve of your choice, they simply need to be reassured that you are the same person they thought you were, and that you were hiding this man not because you were ashamed of him but protective of him. That they may understand.

    As far as your parents finding out, if your brothers can get past their fears after you talk to them, they may well be able to respect your wishes. I think they will because it sounds like they are very interested in keeping you safe, which may have manifested badly here, but is a good reflex at its core that may make them protect you from your parents wrath if you can convince them that you are in need of it.

    • It's more complicated than that.

      What her boyfriend did is statutory rape. She's 17, he's 23.

      Even if it isn't intercourse, it is sexual contact with a minor.

    • Show Older
    • Powersptr gave you what I think is the best answer.

    • Sambam is right that it depends entirely on what state as for whether its statutory. But that's his problem, not hers. She didn't break any law herself, and it's always the older persons responsibility to be aware of the law and make an informed descision, and that's not her. She's not dealing with legal problems, just moral ones, which are bad enough.