I have been with my partner for 4 years and just recently broke up with him because I called him a dirty dog as what he had done to me whilst I was asleep He says he loves me ,well I gather he doesn't love me if he sexual abuses me while I was sleeping. I have totally lost interest in him, but how can I lose complete contact with him when I have his 10 months old baby, it's just so sad that he calls it love. Please help I'm hurting for answers!
You never loved him to begin with. You got your feelings hurt because you felt violated because you were not aware of what he did to you and this left you feeling insecure and helpless. This made you feel you were not in control and you hate control as many people do but in your case you should be bonded to your master in all things such as subjection to his will as the husband rules the woman's body according to God. It is possible he felt love for you that you did not give him in return and when he reached out for this love from you he was again rejected in a more horrible manner and now he lost you forever. Had you reacted differently and reached out and offered him affection back then your whole world and his would be together now instead of how you wanted it to be which is what is it now. He is not the sick one here or the dirty dog. You became the dirt when you could not accept love. Abuse is when someone is hurting you to the point of cruelty and then you can call it quits but when someone wants to make love to you which is your duty and you reject them then you are the wrong one. I say there is no sexual abuse by him but rejection of sex by you and this was his reason for wanting to reach out and touch you as you never reached out and touched him. You are frigid and closed minded and this is one of the prime causes of divorce and ill content or unhappiness in marriages which leads to adultery in the meantime. Sex should be a happy and meaningful occasion in a marriage where both enjoy each others body to the fullest. Unhappy sex is unhappy life and it makes one sick of the other if they do not each want each other in that manner. It takes two, ever heard of that? So, you are not meant to be with him or any one else if you continue to be the way your are. A husband wants his wife to be happy and love him and give him the best attention and this includes giving him the best sex he could ever need. Show that man love and show that man you need him in your life at all times. That makes a man successful and makes a solid family that will always keep together. Be happy if someone reaches out and wants you. It is better to be wanted than rejected!
You said he touches you while you are asleep. Did he just touch or did he have sex with you while you was asleep? If he just touched you, kissed body parts or licked you while you was asleep then that is OK in my opinion. I have mixed feelings about him just out right penitrating you while you was asleep.
I would really like it if my girl friend woke me up while giving me oral sex. I would like it if I woke up to her riding me...lol. She have better put a condom on me though because she knows I will not have intercourse without a condom!
Ok well let me break this down for you from a guys point of view, both of you are laying down sleeping, he wakes with a hard on, and well your sleeping, he reaches over and touches you alittle he wants to gradually wake you up and hopefully you will be in the mood to mess around, I used to do that to my ex all the time, if you know how to do it right it works like a charm. It's not abuse he was just trying to wake you up cause he was horny I mean come on what guy wouldn't be horny sleeping next to a beautiful woman?
What a great way to wake up ! He may have been trying to mess with your dreams a bit before waking you up to "do the deed". I'll bet that would have been one great dream. OR, he may have been hoping you would be so aroused that you would just join in the fun.
You should have tried to wake him up in the same manner some morning. That's what I would have done. Sounds like a cool way to let someone know you are crazy about them.
I think that's sweet in a way. Think of all the places he touched before he got to whereever you found him. He would have played with your hair and touched your face and watched you sleep. Maybe he was trying to pleasure you so you'd have a good wake up call. I think you are taking this overboard and need to figure out why you are really upset.
My ex has done that but I didn't mind. I know he is horny at the middle of the night, sleeping next to me. Of course, if it bothers you that's your opinion. But I do agree with everyone that, if you still love him, maybe you should have talked about it and worked it out. Like all problems, you should resolve it and not over one thing he has done to you. It all depends on the girl or guy if touching is appropriate. You should have set standards not to touch you while you sleep. People do this because they are horny, they love you (since you guys are together and he is not doing it to some other girl or himself), etc.
ive heard of heaps of people who do that to turn on your partner in the morning. its not abuse its pure muking around, so you could wake up in the middle of something amazing. he probably does love you- I think your over reacting. the boys love it when they wake up to their lovely girl fooling around down there. its pretty stupid reason to leave him especially if you have a baby together.
There's this thing, they refer to it as 'sexsomnia.' It mostly affects men, but women, as well.
My ex used to roll over and initiate sex with me in the middle of the night. And completely never remember it in the morning. Sometimes it'd wake me up, sometimes it'd wake me up when we were already going at it, sometimes neither of us would wake up and just realize it in the morning. Either way, what difference does it make? He's someone you, obviously -- considering you have a child together, have sex with on a regular basis. Sooo, he sexually sleepwalks? You got yours. He got his.
I am very sure that you are hurt by what happened and you have a right to be upset. I do not agree that breaking up is the answer. You had a child with this man, you should try to be a bit more understanding and take the time to see where he is comming from. you need also understand that he was in bed with you... So again, keep in mind that he is trying to be close to YOU and at one point he was special enough to have a baby with. At least give him the opportunity to explain and if he is willing, try to work on the problem. That's what you would want if you were the one making the mistake!