Sexual Health
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Should I let my boyfriend touch me?

My boyfriend and I are both 16. We have been dating for 3 weeks and usually he'll put his arm around me or my waist when we are sitting down and he'll stroke my thighs. Last week, when we were hugging he grabbed my butt and was talking about how he likes it and how everybody talks about it, and I don't mind him touching my butt... well, on Friday during the football game it was raining, so we snuggled and at the beginning he was grabbing my butt then touching my thighs, he almost got down there, so I reacted and took his hand and just started playing with his hand... throughout the game we started kissing each other and by the 3rd quarter, he told me,"you have so many layers on," then he wanted to touched my boobs and I was like woahh no.. he then told me, come on it's been 3 weeks are you not going to let me? Then I let him, he was like "they're pretty big, my hand fits perfectly on them" throughout the game he'll occasionally grab my boobs.. This is what guys do? I'm completely new to dating and all my other relationships weren't like this?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • "come on it's been 3 weeks are you not going to let me? "
    he should want to go at your pace, not HIS pace. That comment was wrong and was sort of emotionally abusive, who cares if it's been 3 weeks, he doesn't earn some magical right to do whatever he wants because of 3 weeks (which is nothing).

    You cannot define what someone ELSE is ready to do by YOUR time standards. The answer is clear, if you WANT your boyfriend to touch you, let him. If you're not comfortable with that yet (and there is absolutely no reason you should be yet) then DON'T let him. Time does not have ANY SAY WHATSOEVER in what you're ready to do, it is how you FEEL. You call the shots. He's 16 so he sounds pretty immature and is probably in the relationship for one thing.

    Once you give it up, it will become routine. And then he'll push more things, and that will become routine. He won't just touch you once dear, once you allow him once he'll think he can do it as much as he wants, and if that is too soon for you TELL HIM. Don't let him just because he wants to, only when you want to. If he genuinely liked you he would want to go at your pace and will wait years if thats how long it takes you to be comfortable, and if he rushes you then he's only in it for one thing and you're better off with someone who respects your desires not only their own.

    • Thank you so much!!! This helped a ton!!

  • Make him earn it first, at least. In my opinion, the best way to keep him and stop him from getting so physical so fast, would be to "play hard to get". Don't give him what he wants, exactly when he wants it; make him wait a little bit. Just be really flirty/cute about it.

    Like, when he grabs your butt when your hugging him, stroke your hand all the way from his arm to his hand. Then, you can slide his hand back up to your lower back, and give him a cute smile or some witty phase.

    That way, he still is interested, but he'll try harder to earn it first. Or at least buy you some time.

    • Thank you!!

  • Nooooo!!! You guys just started he's moving way to fast and yeah grabbing your butt is fine but your boobs? In public? Nono boo show him that he's got to wait remember you have to give some but leave some to the imagination too !! Don't be easy guys actaully don't like easy girls if you give it to him fast wait a while you guys basically started the other day give it time.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You are the only one who can answer that. If you are comfortable with him touching your body there is nothing wrong with it. If you are not comfortable with it and he touches you anyways it is sexual assault. As far as the “normal” relationship goes, it all depends on the people. Many people are much, much more physical than a little boob/butt touching, some people never do anything like that for years. It all depends on what you are comfortable with. If you don’t like it let him know, if he keeps doing it let someone know.

  • After just 3 weeks, I wouldn't just let him do that so easily. I mean if you really like him, and he really likes you than whatever.
    I'm just saying if I was with a girl for three weeks and I couod do all that than I would think that she was kind of easy. That's what I would think anyway. Don't let him take advantage of your kindness. I can already see him trying to get in your pants.
    But if you both really like eachother than whatever.

    • Couldn't agree any more! Thanks

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 9

  • This boy is trouble. I'd seriously reevaluate your relationship with him or give him some very very clear boundaries to get him to back way off. He sounds like one of those guys that will be like "but baby if you love me you'd have sex with meeeeee"

  • I really don't think that is appropriate in public and him asking you to do so when you aren't comfortable shows a lack of respect.

  • I mean that seems normal, but not in public lol... That is just weird, no body needs to see some 16 year olds feeling each other up, just do it at someones house next time haha

    • Yeah, like that's why I was feeling so uncomfortable having everyone from school there

    • ya, exactly... Plus you can get a bad reputation around school, kids are awful lol and if he puts up a fight, then he is not mature enough to be touching you in that way- just in case he fights you on it. He needs to learn and respect your boundaries.

  • well in public i think his advances are a little ill-timed. for the rest of it, it's up to you how far you want to let things go. we really can't decide.

  • Am sorry but he's doing that at jus 3 weeks?

  • make him earn that shit lol.

    • Preach!

    • The way prostitutes do?

  • If you like it, let him do what he wants.

  • This seems a bit too easy. He needs to earn it or else he'll get used to it and take it for granted. Besides, he is basically groping you in public, that's a no no. I hope eumors won't spread. Plus, you shouldn't let him if you aren't completely comfortable. He seems a bit too horny to be good.

  • If you're not comfortable with what he's doing, tell him to stop! If he doesn't, leave!

  • It can be normal for a guy to want to touch them, just let him wait to go underneath your clothes. It's totally worth it for him to touch, unless your uncomfortable with it.

  • This is what guys do. We like to grab and touch all the time I'm afraid.

  • I'dd do this in bedroom or when nobody sees it, the mood has to be set up aswell

  • No you shouldn't let him. Do you like him for his personality or just the way he is treating you? He is not respecting you. If he really cares about you he would wait and not take it that far. And you both only dated for 3 weeks so I think he just wants to get in your pants. :/

  • uhhh well he seems very touchy feely. I mean there's a time and a place but he has a bit of trouble controlling himself. Be careful with this one

    • Couldn't agree more. This is troublesome behavior he is displaying.

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