the first time I went through my boyfriend's phone I found porn pictures and I confronted him about it but not in a hostile way whatsoever. After... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
You have a seriously unhealthy relationship there. Just because a person isn't very attractive, or isn't an ideal doesn't mean they should have to put up with crap from their partner.
What he said to you was completely showing you disresepct and worse suggesting he didn't care for your feelings (it was also either arrogant or unloving on his part).
I would not tollerate that, even in someone I loved. Though, I would handle addressing it in love and respect even though I was shown none so I knew I had given love a chance (you seem to have suggested your doing that and coming here for advice is good).
If I where you, I would start meeting new people. Don't dump him, just remind youself that there ARE other people out there that would want to know you and share your time, even to win you. Don't bother checking his phone anymore, that might wake him up and he may start becomming more obbessive about you (he's shown you a lack of care, reduce your care for him.. don't take it away though, that's hurtfull, just be less keen for him and his company). He needs to be aware your choosing him and you are not his property.
Once you have reminded yourself of this (by just being friends but seeing how they treat you, and some people are sure to like you even if your not sure of them), then think wether this guys really worth all that.
Mutual checking of each others phones is not really on either, but since it has happened and he has shown a very distastefull side of his character I feel its fair to feel wronged in your case.