My boyfriend said I'm bad in bed! what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and we've had sex...about 5 or 6 times so far.It still hurts a lot,it feels like he's ripping me apart,I'm usually dry when we have sex but we use KY lubricant,it doesn't last long though.I watch porn and have been watching porn since I was 16 and I have searched and searched on how to be good in bed.I ask him what he likes and what feels good,but get no response.I've also asked him to show me what he likes,but he doesn't.He told me I'm bad in bed(It made me feel bad but I guess it's constructive criticism)...like with vaginal intercourse,but he said I'm good at oral sex,although I've been giving him oral sex long before we actually had vaginal intercourse. Is there perhaps a book,video or site or any tips/advice you could give me at all to become better? Help is appreciated from both girls and guys! Help please(: Thank you so much

[Anonymous]

How could you have sex with him if it feels like it s ripping you apart?

Maybe you guys should have built up to it, so that you were more comfortable.. I don't think HE would be very good if his d*** felt like it was ripping every time you had sex.. Does he know you are in pain?

Also, why does he not help you out. I mean if he has experience & you do not he should show you the ropes , not hold it against you.. I do not think it is very constructive if it is a TWO WAY deal.

Maybe he should be a little more patient & gentle & help you out & you guys could practice... Practice makes perfect.

He def. has no right to tell you YOU ARE BAD - it;s the two of you especially if he is the one complaining & you are in pain.. He should at the very least show you what he likes, but more then that try to help you out of pain.

Don't let him be a jerk.

[spicyavacados]

It sounds to me as though HE is the one who is bad in bed. Aside from the question of whether or not he should have said it to you (to me it sounds like what he means is, "we can make this better" even if he didn't say it in a nice way) but he should be willing to tell you what he likes. Without that how are you supposed to figure it out? I'd tell him that in a nice way.

Otherwise I'd say keep re-applying the lube, act like you're really into it--moan a lot, etc. and maybe try different positions? Don't let him go so deep and it won't hurt as badly. If he's not turning you on enough masturbate right beforehand (in front of him if he wants--he might like that--or before he comes over) that way your body has more time to get excited and prepare.

[FlyOntheWall]

I think the reason you may be bad is because how much it hurts you. You can't be good at it if you're not enjoying it at all or if you're distracted. It may hurt because of your position, try a different position, try doggy style and see what results that gives you. If you're really dry for a medical reason then yeah KY Lubricant but maybe you're not aroused, ask him to do a little foreplay before sex.
Sex is a two way street, he should please you and you should please him. If he doesn't like it, he should be telling you want he wants rather than put you in an awkward situation where you're feeling lost.

[Anonymous]

Me and my gf had a similar problem. I mean, im bigger than her exes and on the first month together we couldnt do it because she was a bit dry. So we tried some lubricants and it worked. I always suggested foreplay, but she was to self-conscious about receiving oral, and didn't let me finger her for too play because she was afraid of coming to early. So basicaly the first 4months we had to use lubricants. After some time, she finally accepted oral and since then, with a couple minutes oral before sex, we no longer needed lubricant.

I hoped this might help you with the "dry" part

[sessy_chick]

He sounds like an asshole. You lost your virginity to him and not only did he tell you that you're bad in bed, but he won't tell you what he likes. You should look in the back of a cosmopolitan magazine for lube ads. try some different lubes. Use them a lot. and don't apply a lot. sex should feel good.

[cuteflirtygirl]

The first thing you said was the best. He sounds like an asshole. I can't imagine why she stays with a guy like that.

[silverfox]

The main part of you being too dry is that you are probably going straight to penetration without proper foreplay...so maybe its not you being bad at sex it's him being bad in foreplay. Foreplay helps you get worked up to the big finish. Tell him you want him to tease you a little more before he enters to properly build up enough natural fluids. Also it may be a little advisable to have him go slow at the beginning because the fact is females are very very sensitive.

[Anonymous]

First off, when did your boyfriend tell you that you were "bad in bed" the first time, in between 5th or 6th time? If he told you that you were bad in bed and you guys went to do it again psychologicaly your body is going to relate the action of sex to the outcome of the last time (if that makes sense). The comment he made was a turn off and hurt you making you unable to get wet. And no guy should tell you that you are bad in bed. Trust me girl the only time I have heard a guy say that was when the girl he was having intercourse with fell asleep while they were going at it. Be open with him and ask what you can do to make it more enjoyable for him and you. Being able to communicate is very important when havering sexual relations.

[Anonymous]

well, I know what you mean, sometimes it just hurts, but the only way you can enjoy, and not being worried about being ripped apart is being wet, and for that I recomend you to drink more water and tell ur boyfriend to play a bit more with you before the act, I mean, he has to put in his fingers first and bring all the fluids out, that way ur vagina will expand a bit and you will not be suffering, that´s the only way, you can "move better" .