Why do men call women names like "sl*t", b*tch, and "wh*re"?

There is a profound double standard out there in society. And it exist here as well. I have just read about a teenage girl whose first boyfriend repeatedly put her down and then dumped her because she had put her mouth on a guy's penis, once, before they got involved. She'd never had sexual intercourse. (He had.) She lost her virginity to him, this guy, who put her down for not having been "pure" enough for him. And he dumped her for this reason. She was hurt and confused by his hateful, degrading actions. I have also read about a married woman whose husband thinks she's a "sl*t" because she had several sexual relationships and partners before he met her. (So did he.) She feels put down and disrespected by him. Consider this: --a teenage guy, by the age of twenty, has had sex with thirty girls. He is seen as what? A stud? Lucky? Hot? Experienced? --a guy in his twenties shows his feelings by being sometimes irritable, sometimes angry, aggressive, dismissive, sometimes cold and callous to others. He is called what? Normal? Someone whose feelings we should understand as human? --a guy in his thirties has had sex with over 200 women. He is called what? A stud? A catch? A REAL MAN! Now consider this: that same teen, if female, is called a sl*t. that same person in their twenties, if female, is called a b*tch that same person in their thirties, if female, is called a wh*re. Often, including on this very website, on several discussion threads, if women do the exact same things that give men social power and status, and pats on the back from his male friends, those women lose social power and status and are more likely to get harassed and demeaned by men. I'm talking about behaviors such as having sex with people their age, enjoy sex with people their age, exploiting people sexually in systems of prostitution who are younger than them, and be promiscuous with people of many ages. Why does doing those same things, when done by women, usually and often result in females being put down by guys who do those exact same things? Why are those women thought of as having less worth, less attractiveness, less dignity, and less morality? Why, when men do exactly those same things, are they not considered "sl*tty", "b*tchy", and "wh*res"? And, if we don't call men those names commonly and often, can we stop calling women and girls those names as well? (And please don't tell me some men are called those things too. We know who is called those terms most of the time, and who is deeply hurt and demeaned by those terms.) I call for us, here, on this website, to stop calling women woman-hating and woman-disrespecting names. What are your thoughts and feelings about this?
Is it fair to call girls and women sl*t, wh*re, and b*tch when we don't call men those things?
Vote A
Why is there such a sexist double standard when it comes to judging women and men about their sex lives?
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
To an Answerer who thinks race is genetic (it's not): Jewishness is about culture, ethnicity, and heritage. Judaism refers to a religion. Where did you get your education on these matters, seriously? Because this is basic stuff.
+1 y
@saphirasilverwings, What is our "instinct" beyond suckling when we're infants? Please share. And we're not "perfect" regardless of whether or not we are of nature. We ARE of nature. Where else would we be from? Spirit is also of nature.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Julian, I am sorry to say that I can only reply with editiorial opinion...based on what I see, hear and experience.

    I once saw an attractive woman wearing a t-shirt that read " I HAVE THE PUSSY, SO I MAKE THE RULES" ! The statement was intended to be humor, but I really think that from a practcal point of view, the statement has a lot of truth, in so far as the power that women have over men with regard to sex and sexual relationships. My experience has been that many men resent that power.

    My prior wife (who was very pretty) told me that she had sex with 30 men, during the course of her 6 prior marriages. That did not cause men any heartburn, but I must confess that I was 'jealous' over the fact that she had that much sexual experience, and at the time I had only HALF that many sexual partners.

    My co-worker, who was "50ish" at the time (she was also very pretty) said that she "Quit counting at 100"...and that was during a 20 year marriage to the same guy..

    I was DAMN jealous of her.

    Many men are very jealous and resentful of that kind of "experience" if we can call it that.

    I wish to hell that I had slept with 100 women !

    In my opinion, much of the "slut", "whore", and "bitch" talk results from jealousy and resentment of this kind of 'freedom on the part of women in that beautiful women, pretty much have ordinary men "by the balls" so to speak in terms of their access to sex and sexual relationships.

    My editorial opinion, for what it is worth, Julian

    Bruce

    • Thanks for sharing that, oliver. And I don't agree women have any such "power" honestly. Men rape women; women don't rape men; men in cars follow women and girls walking on the sidewalk and call out to them as if they are wh*res; women don't do this when driving down streets. So who has the power? I agree with you that men are often jealous of women, but can't men find healthier ways of dealing with jealousy than by putting down women and girls for being sexually active? Again, thanks.

  • Men, by nature, want to spread their seed to as many women as possible. That is EVOLUTIONARY. You can't argue that. We WANT to stick our penises in things. It's what we DO.

    Women, on the other hand, by nature want the biggest and strongest man so he can protect her and their offspring will be strong and healthy. Again, this is evolutionary. You simply can't argue it. Women are supposed to be protective of their vaginas. Just not anything is supposed to fly in there.

    Now, I never call a woman a name like that. I never have and I never will. But to say that it is the same as a woman going around sleeping with 20 guys and a man sleeping with 20 women, that's completely different.

    We, as a race, are still pretty young. Kinsey's studies were considered GROUND BREAKING and VERY controversial and happened what, sixty years ago? To move a mountain, you gotta start one block at a time. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Yadda, yadda yadda. That's like two generations.

    The stigma is less and less, but it takes time to change the world. SEE: Civil Rights Movement, Women's Rights Movement, GLBT Movement, etc.

    • "by nature" or not its still a double standard. we're not living in a society like animals on Animal Planet where the evolutionary theory is key to survival. sure, that's important, but its not the [ most ] important thing out there. you say you've never called a woman these names [ happy to hear lol ] but what makes "to say that it is the same as a woman going around sleeping with 20 guys and a man sleeping with 20 women, that's completely different" so different ?

    • Because in almost ALL animals, the male has to do some type of ritual or whatever to get the female to sleep with him. MALES want to sleep with females. The female chooses if she wants to sleep with the male or not. I'd guess that over half the time, the male is the one that wants to sleep with the female first. If a female is just going around sleeping with a ton of dudes, that's not evolutionarily correct. It IS a double standard. A guy does not want a girl that does that. I don't.

    • Blufrenzy, humans are animals. We have instincts and most of the time, they are for the best. I`m not saying that calling women names is a helpful instinct, it is disrespectful and not okay... but it has reasoning behind it and the reasoning does matter up to a point. There would be benefits to not sleeping around... less chance of unwanted pregnancies, STDs, etc. Women have the instinct to choose the father of our children carefully and have sex with only him, and it makes total sense.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Think men have problems dealing with women and do not know that women are human too. They think is OK and then wonder why they go to hell later. It is not a good I idea to treat some one the way most men treat women and I hope they get fired from lots of Jobs because it is not tolerated in the work place. Do not blame your troubles on women. Men need to grow up and learn to be good people. If you are a sexiest pig do not be in any women's life because bad things can happen to you. Through your own fault. You are asking to get your balls chopped off and then you can be someone beoch. I don't like to be disrespected and I am sure you don't either. I think we should treat those kind of men like sex offenders. Not to far off the path of a sex offender. Good luck to the ones that pick the right guy for them self. To end this on a good note; I will tell you their are great men out there that deserve great women because they have the right idea on what women think, want and need. They are very deserving because they turn the female on with the correct charm and don't slime the women to death with insults, name calling and mind games that don't work and end up getting hurt through being sued or getting balls chopped off. If you can't be nice; end the relationship and quit being obsessed and selfish. Key word Leave the relationship.

  • AMEN! I agree whole-heartedly with you on this issue. The sexual revolution was not for men only, it was for every gender of every age. I think these words should have just as much negative conotation for saying them as racial slurs. If someone refers to another in a racist manner, the speaker is usually berated and in some cases ostracised. The same should be true of those who use such terms for women who revel in and embrace their sexuality. The next time a person refers to a woman who's had multiple sexual partners as a wh**e or s**t, everyone in the vicinity should give them a horrific look and blast them! The next time a woman who's climbed to the top of the corporate latter is referred to as a ball-busting b***h, cal them on it! Maybe if everyone did this, society would change.

    • How is this the best answer? It doesn't even answer the question.

  • It`s a bit confusing that you posed the voting options as questions, if you don`t mind feedback.

    I have mixed feelings. I do feel like there is a double standard, and that it can be unfair to women and impact them negatively.

    But at the same time, in general it is "natural" for men to have sex with more people- it is their instinct. Whereas it is not, generally speaking, for women. It is their instinct to become attached to one person and not have sex with a lot of different guys.

    So there is just a difference there... but women should not be given a hard time for living their lives the way they choose. It is their right, just as it is a guy`s right.

    • Thanks for pointing that out about the polling problem!! Yeah, I'm getting used to this arena. And regardless of whether or not men have more sex, that doesn't at all explain why women who have lots of sex are put down by men. It could just as easily be the case that men are put down by women for having lots of sex. But that's not the case, generally speaking. I don't know any girls who call boys "sl*t" or "wh*res" and who would leave a guy for having "a sexual past". Thanks for sharing!

    • Ah, I kind of just said this.

    • Well... in a way, it does explain it. I am not saying it`s okay to call people insulting names. But women who sleep around are going against nature. That DOESN`T mean they can`t choose to do it, or that they should be punished for making that choice. But we as people have not completely overcome human nature. We still have the instincts, even if we don`t need them as much any more.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i agree with you in every aspect it is a horible double standardi think that any assholes who say such are well assholes. I have thought this for years but nobody seems to care

    • Hi Joshua12, I hope you tell your male friends how you feel.

  • What is the difference between "being of nature" and "having instincts"? I am really not following you through any of this, and I really don`t understand how you can claim that our only instinct is to suck when we`re babies.

    We have all kinds of instincts. Our urges to eat, drink, have sex, etc. are all instincts. We have instincts to bond with our children. Reflexes and aversion to pain are survival instincts.

    • From wikipedia, on "instinct": A number of criteria were established which distinguishes instinctual from other kinds of behavior. To be considered instinctual a behavior must a) be automatic, b) be irresistible, c) occur at some point in development, d) be triggered by some event in the environment, e) occur in every member of the species, f) be unmodifiable, and g) govern behavior for which the organism needs no training... the term "instinct" cannot be used in reference to human behavior.

    • It can be used in reference to SOME human behaviors. Not all, of course. But some.

    • Which ones?

  • Well, I`m Jewish. And I have never heard any person use the term "Jewishness" before. It isn`t used for practical purposes, as far as I`m aware. I can`t distinguish between Judaism and Jewishness, personally, based on your definition.

    I know there isn`t a specific gene for each race, or anything like that. But people of certain races have certain characteristics and those characteristics are the result of genes.

    I am not saying that some traits are better than others- only that people DO have differences. I don`t believe that it`s wrong to simply acknowledge that.

    • * my cousin and I :D I`m secure enough in the knowledge that I am not prejudiced that I can speak comfortably about this. If you flinch at every use of the word "race", maybe you`re overcompensating for something?

    • Please disregard the above. It was meant for another answer.

    • I never said people aren't different physically. The point is WHICH differences count as comprising "a race". As you know, in Nazi Germany "blond hair, blue eyes, and pale white skin" ("Aryan") was ONE race, and "brown hair, brown eyes, and olive skin" (Ashkenazi Jews) was another race. So what would you say about that? We those two races, or, as in the U.S., one? "Aryan" features exist, right? That IS a difference. So is it a "separate race"?

  • P.S. Julian, this is the first "worthwhile" debate that I have seen on this site...A light year away from the usual..."My penis is 9 inches long...etc etc

    • LOL. I know what you mean, oliver!!! I've been reading through a lot of old posts!!! I'm glad you're into having more meaningful conversations about stuff like this. And I'm glad you're here.

  • I think things are changing now, because I definileley have seen my fair share of said terms used on men as well. Yes... even b*tch.

    • And white people call each other "n*gger" increasingly. That doesn't mean the situation is any better for women, or for people of color. And especially not for women of color, who get called ALL those names. Do you think it helps women of color for whites to call one another the and word, or for men to call each other the b or c words?

    • Of course it doesn't justify the name-calling, but it means there's less of a double standard since the terms are used interchangeably on males and females.

    • Forgive me if I don't find that to be particularly good news.

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  • Apparently you do not spend much time around the sub 25 age group. It's become almost a cultural thing to be totally disrespectful of others. And it's almost done as a standard expecially with the sub 20 group.

    We, my friend are dinosaurs. Get used to it.

    Things like respect and consideration of others are not only no longer taught by society in general but they are outdated concepts that died when MEN were the heads of the household and we gave up teaching boys how to be MEN! It all died when we gave up the concepts of duty, honor and tradition.

    You are too young to remember life in the days when we believed that you were not entitled to everything. Back in the day when being respected had value because you EARNED it... it was not a given. Back in the days when a MAN had expectations put upon him. Expectations like being the breadwinner. Like being EXPECTED to pay a due to those who went BEFORE you and paved the way so your journey might not be as difficult.

    No, today everything is GIVEN. You are expected to GIVE respect to others regardless of whether they have EARNED your respect.

    Riddle me this. What is the value of something that is GIVEN rather than earned. Answer that and you will understand why BOYS act as they do today.

    Quite simply because they are not EXPECTED to act differently.

    • What I am talking about happened exactly the same way ten years ago, twenty years ago, thirty years ago, and forty years ago. This is not something new. Girls have been considered derogatory terms for centuries, across cultures. And I know PLENTY of people age 18-24, and among the guys, I find that they honestly tend to have MORE respect for girls than in previous generations. The guys HERE on this site who speak respectfully about girls are often "young". And that's cool.

  • I've observed the complete opposite. It's perfectly fine for women to make public statements such as

    "To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he's a machine, a walking dildo."

    "I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig."

    "The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race."

    However, as much as we laud freedom of speech, we would never allow these statements to be made by a man against women on public forums. That should tell you everything already.

    And the sex double-standard you've mentioned works against men as well. In fact, English polls show men discriminate against sexually experienced women less than women discriminate against sexually inexperienced men.

    But positions such as yours are necessary, I'm sure feminism couldn't have become the rotten, hideous monster it is without the assistance of you and your mangina minion kin.

    • And how many discussion threads are posted here, on this site, that call women "sl*ts" and "b*tches", compared to posts that call for men to be reduced to 10%? I've never seen that here, and I think you're just ignoring reality: every woman I know has been called those names. Some women are called them at least once a day. Men call women those names. What you are talking about happens so rarely that it's not even worth discussing.

    • That's precisely the problem. Prejudices and hate speeches against men never seem worth discussion. It's very difficult to believe in the sincerity of anyone's disposition under a premise like that.

    • Guess you're leaving out all the "little women" jokes that women get told? They don't count? "I'm sure feminism couldn't have become the rotten, hideous monster it is without the assistance of you and your mangina minion kin." has to be one of the most insufferable, rude and down right ingorant comments I've ever read.

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  • The only time women should be called whores is for example when they have sex with every guy on the football team of their school. A woman shouldn't be called a whore if she's like 25 and had 5 serious long-lasting relationships with 5 different guys and has had only a few one night-stands. I see nothing wrong with having a few of those. And when women dress slutty they should be called sluts. I have no respect for women that dress slutty in public. It makes me think she's a whore or wants to be one.

  • Thanks for bringing that up :) ...I wanna know why to ...and why is it thast guys can do the same things as some girls like sleeping around and you never hear ther name around the school ...or they never get called any thing other than ther name ...its crazy

  • I am happy that a man sees this. Thank you for acknowledging what we women have known but every time we try to express it get put down!

    • Hi Anonymous User. My friends include women who were incested, molested, raped, and battered by men. For taking the stand I have here, I got this private message from a man here named rickims63: "You must be as queer as a three dollar bill or were touched by Daddy as a child. No man hell not even most women think the f***ed up thoughts you have." So keep speaking out against this. And I will too. Because anti-woman and anti-gay jerks like rickims63 do not have the power to silence us.