Guys, should a girl tell you she's a virgin before you have sex, or would you rather not know?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 and still a virgin, but it's not this really big deal to me. I just haven't been in any real relationships and I never had that urge to just get it over with physically, so I haven't ever had sex. I've only actually made out with guys a couple of times, but then I never actually had any reason or desire to take it any further than that with those particular guys. I realize that for a 22-year-old girl, this is pretty unusual, but I personally don't think much of it. And I don't particularly feel the need to spill or hide this info one way or the other. But from a guy's perspective, would you rather have a girl tell you she's a virgin before you have sex or would you rather not know until after (and if so, how long after)? This is assuming you're in a fairly new, fairly casual relationship, and the issue hasn't come up yet. Would you treat a girl differently one way or the other?

[nikral]

taking a girls virginity is a big deal to some guys. I know a few guys who will not have sex with a virgin because they don't want to "just use her", they know that she should loose it to the right guy. meaning someone who will actually care for her, take it easy, and be there for her in a relationship. if you are "the right guy" then it is defiantly a turn on to know that a girl is a virgin. make sure he knows before hand (like before your both naked in the bedroom). that way he can decide if he wants to take it or not, meaning he can decide if he is going to commit or not. unless your the kind of girl who thinks sex is just sex and it doesn't matter if your in a relationship or not, in that case you can tell him if you want too, but if you don't tell him before then don't tell him after. if you care about sex being in a relationship then you should defiantly tell him before, don't wait till after because that can be a big shock.

[MrNameless]

I definitely think she should.

Because if she doesn't, I'm going to assume she isn't virgin. Girls who are losing their virginity need to be taken with extra care. It can hurt a little for girls doing it the first time..

Its good to tell the guy, so he can take extra care.

[Asker]

What if she, uh, knew that pain wasn't going to be an issue? Would that change things? I guess I'm wondering whether you'd be upset if a girl didn't tell you until afterwards, even if you didn't know and couldn't tell...

[Stacyzee]

I know you're asking for men to answer...

but it is necessary that you tell a man you're a virgin.

1) Taking a girl's virginity is a turn on for a man.

2) He will go easy and slow on you.

If the guy doesn't know you're a virgin chances are he'll be a lot rougher on you...and you will feel a lot more pain.

[DrJones]

If it was me, I'd prefer if you told me. I'd try to be a bit more patient and careful and not read too much into any awkwardness that ensued. But if you didn't say anything until later, I wouldn't be terribly upset. (In fact, this happened to me. I was a bit confused as to why she said nothing, but I wasn't angry.)

And no, we don't all think it's a turn-on to sleep with a virgin. Personally, I think that attitude is creepy.

[stanius]

Tell him it is a definite turn on.

[dudeman17]

Yea tell him then if your not that good he will understand and it is a turn on!

[Anonymous]

I would rather the girl tell me she's a virgin before sex that way the proper supportive actions and emotions can be applied. That goes for both sides. There's a great feeling when a girl has chosen you to loose her virginity with. Plus, it's a major turn-on! Yes, I would treat her differently at first.