I have been with my Boyfriend for 3.5 years. We have been living together for 2.5. When we were together for about a year I had found out that he was watching these foot fetish videos all the time. He would even message other girls and ask them to send them pictures of their feet to him. I found out about all this and was devastated. And I hate it with a passion. And since then we have had on and off problems with him looking at that stuff. I don't understand why I'm not enough. I am ready for sex anytime. I go along with all his fetish stuff. He says I'm beautiful but I don't feel that way when he needs to look at other women to get off. I actually feel disgusting. Now about 5-6 months ago he has been bugging me to let him watch the videos. I told him I need time to think about it. His theory is other girlfriends let their BFs watch it. Not a week can go by where he won't mention watching a video to me. And I specifically asked him not to say anything about it to me until I mention it to him. And I told him that I need time to come around I said it might not even be in a few months it could be longer. But he can't drop it not for 1 full week! And it just shows me that he is obsessed with it. He has even told me that he thinks about it all the time. And that I just don't care about him and he doesn't want me to forget about it.
When a smoker quits smoking do you want to be the one to offer him a cig?
I don't know what to do. I'm at the point that I know he will hold it against me forever if I tell him I just can't live with it. and I would almost rather break up then to have to talk about it. I HATE IT! It makes me feel like an ugly, mean, bad girlfriend. He has even gone around the no video thing by looking at other women in bikinis and I just can't find a happy median for us both to be happy. Its tearing me and us apart. And I don't think he will ever understand how it makes me feel. I love him more than anything in the world. But I just can't bring myself to be ok with this. I know he is the one for me...but only if we can find a resolve here. Does anybody have any advice?
also I have no problem with the foot fetish thing. I take very good care of my feet and get them painted professionally just for him! I let him do what he wants with them so I don't see that that would be the problem. And when it comes to sex I am always ready and willing!
If your boyfriend didn't have a foot fetish, the story will have been the same. I don't think that you are having this problem because of your boyfriends foot fetish. I had a very good looking and very boyfriend 2 years ago and I had the same problem as you. But my boyfriend didn't have foot fetish. The problem is that if you don't have the looks that your man is looking for, then you will always have this kind of problems. It's not about if he likes feet or boobs or ass.. My boyfriend always liked skinny Asian women but I didn't care. For me he was the best man I could ever had.(btw I am not very good looking and I'm white-italian) I was also found out that he was watching p*rn with Asian women one day. . Long story short one day that we have a fight, he told me to break up and that I was never the girl that he wanted for the rest of his life so why to be together? And I mean he was right. I would have done the same thing if I was with a man that doesn't have what I truly want. Either if that for some people is money, looks, sex or something else. Every person is different. Anyway my advice to you is that if you really want to be with him, just talk to him about what you want. And ask him to do the same. If he tells you that he want's to go with other women then it's up to you guys if you want to continue your relationship. Sorry for my English..
That smoker metaphor is absolutely horrible and completely different. It would be accurate if instead of giving lung cancer, cigarettes had no effect on the lungs but you still didn't like the smell.
Personally I think feet fetish is disgusting myself, but you have to understand, especially with men, there are some strong fetish's. The only problem he had is asking for others to send pictures of theirs to him, tell him that's like you asking guys to send pictures of their cocks for you to get off to.
If it's just videos and random pics online it's completely find though since there's no actually personal connection ever made, it's something to relieve the need is all. Basically this goes to supporting porn, but if/when he searching for people to show of themselves, it's basically like cybering or having webcam sex with em.
My question is what compromise did you put out, if any?
This is a huge problem. I'm not a huge fan of getting into relationships to begin with, but if I were in a relationship, that's one of the problems that I see myself having. I would see myself going behind the girlfriend's back and watching foot p*rn without her knowing about it, and that's even if she does know that I have a foot fetish and is okay with it. I often think to myself that if a woman were to get into a relationship with a man who has a foot fetish, then a relationship like that would come with its own set of problems. Problems like the one you're having.
There are plenty of women with very attractive feet and I cannot help but to look down at their feet and what type of shoes they are wearing. To him, feet is like looking at a woman naked. If he sees this all the time, then he feels like he's in heaven with all those feet around him. This stuff is very addictive.
I do not think that you have the type of feet that he thinks is perfect for him. To me, if I had a girlfriend and her feet are the stuff of my dreams, then chances are that I would not be interested in another other woman's feet. However, there is that desire that would urge me to look at other women's feet just in case there's another one whose feet are even BETTER than the feet of my dreams.
I think the same thing is happening with your boyfriend. I think he feels your feet are not the feet of his dreams and he wishes he could have another women who has better feet than yours. Perhaps that's why he wants to watch videos. He probably wants your live feet while he looks at feet that are better than yours on the computer.
I don't know how old this topic is. Unless you give me an update as to what's been happening since, that's the advice I have for you. I think this is going to get worse before it gets any better.
You have to give me an update so that I can adjust my advice to you.
Wow that's ruff, i guess there are different levels of foot fetish, i take it he looks at other women's feet because you're simply not into it. But if he's just looking at other women well seems he has lost interest. You're a beautiful and very understanding women i think you should cut you're losses and move on.
so I'm a girl, and I am currently dealing with the same issue. I don't get it. and I'm not typically a jealous person, but I have found my self loathing when people take off their shoes around him. It kills me to watch him see everyone elses feet and I know he stares at them. I hate it so much. He had girls send him bug squishing stories online. and I was also devastated when I found out. I almost ended it. He's an amazing person, but I hate this tiny thing. And I do the same thing, get my nails done and everything for him. and he would rather masturbate then have sex. I feel like I'm not beautiful and such too. its really difficult at times to deal with. I don't think I can live the rest of my life with just a friend.