Sexual Health
+1 y

Being a virgin is making me want to kill myself.

Like none of you understand how much I NEED IT how I am obsessed with it I honestly sometimes wish that someone would rape me because then at least I wouldn't be a virgin. Being a virgin is so so embarrassing and I think about it all the time I just need to have real sex with someone decent, but I can't just ask someone for sex but I don't know I really wish I would have just had sex with the guy who has the pregnant girlfriend. Or I hope I get like date raped or something (its more.. graceful you know like I feel like its better than forcible rape) but I just am so sad and depressed about it all the time, I either need to have it or find something to do to bide time until I get it, its like my constant focus nothing else is mattering I honestly have no idea what to do anymore I don't know if I just want random sex, because I have been in the position to do that and I didn't so maybe I do want to love the person I give it to.. but that person is taking too long and I'm tired of waiting and feeling depressed and embarrassed so what should I do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm sorry if I seem dense about this, but what is so embarassing about being a virgin? A first time (at least to me) is an intimate moment when two people feel most comfortable with each other and closen their intimacy/their bond between them. To me sex is more about becoming closer to someone, andd the first time is about trusting someone enough to attempt to lay aside one's insecurities andd worries, and feel accepted by that person in an intimate moment gripped in passion, romance, and a bit of lust. To me I see virginity as a one time deal to tell someone in the most sacred and special of ways "I love you, and no one else to share my life with". Maybe it's just me, but I personally am a virgin and I plan on keeping it that way until I meet someone I believe is worth sharinng it with, I don't see it as something to throw away or purge myself of, it's my tender gift (no pun intended).

    Maybe you haven't tossed away your virginity on a one night stand or something to that effect, because deep down you're really jjust tired of waiting for a connection, and want to feel that sort of love, and passion that you haven't yet found and hasn't yet found. I'd suggest looking deeper in yourself to find out if it is merely lust you are interestedd in, or hurt or lack of intimate love that you are feeling. I obviously can't really help you decide what you are feeling, or what you should do... but if you haven't alreaddy lept into the arms of someone you don't care about just to "rid" yourself of your virginity, I think you might likely be seeking something else.

    Which if it is not lust you're after, I may have some suggestions as to how to/what to occupy your mind and time with until you can find what you're after. I sincerely hope this answer helps, best of luck to you and if you want to talk, or get advice or anything from me, don't hesitate to message me, again best of luck to you =)

  • 1: Why are you embarrassed about being a virgin? It is a choice and it is your choice, something that is nobody else's business

    2: Don't go having sex with someone just because you want to stop being a virgin. That is for a time when you are physicaqlly and emotionally ready

    3: You do not want to be date raped

    OK, understand you answer to you and you alone. Anybody else has a problem with your virginity then they are not friends. If a guy is shaming you for it, it is because he wants to pressure you into giving it up to him. As for girls, I can't imagine why a girl would shame you for it, and hopefully one of the girls here can answer that.

    Just make sure that whatever choices you make about sex, they are your choices and designed to satisfy you and nobody else or you will regret it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • First off, breathe. Calm down a bit. I'm in the same boat as you as for being a virgin but you need to rethink how you make yourself feel about it. You said you HAD the chance to have random sex and you declined - that's your instinct and you should listen to it. I'm not saying wait for marriage because in our society that is no longer truly the case. Your first time should be with someone you trust enough to be good to you during the experience (not being too rough, etc.). If you go out and do nothing but look for sex you will find it - but you'll probably regret it because it will most likely be with some douche-y guy who just wants to say he took a virgin when he talks to his buddies in the morning (i've known this to happen to friends who just wanted to lose their virginity). Don't be so negative on yourself about it. Being a virgin is a rarity now-a-days, personally I am proud of it. As for 'biding your time until you get it' if you are so sexually frustrated grab a girlfriend (who isn't a virgin) and take a trip to the sex shop - there's many a thing to keep you occupied.

  • why would you be embarassed by being a virgin?

    I know plenty of people that are virgins, including me. When people ask me, they admire that more because theyre first time was awful or they've slept with people who they now wish they hadn't slept with. Most people I've spoken too go wish I was still one.

    can understand where your coming from, like it can be frustarting at times but there's nothing wrong about being one. There are a lot of people I know who are in the early 20s and are still virgins and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

    Your young, you have your life ahead of you and you will find mister right at somepoint, but if you do have sex think about it before you do because if its not meaningful you may regret it.

  • why would you be embarrassed about being a virgin? if anything I would trade my first to be a virgin because it truly sucked! you shouldn't be embarrassed I bet tons of people admire you for staying a virgin for as long as you are. I think I can strongly agree with forgetable. you shouldn't be embarrassed about it. I hate the fact that when I first had sex it wasn't meaningful, it meant nothing and I deeply regret it, I wish so many times I could go back to that day. be proud. because your husband will be happy.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 8

  • ok that is some weird sh*t. trust me, you do not want to get raped-you get flashbacks for the rest of your life and it screws you up a lot. why not focus on something else? kids in Haiti are suffering and the last thing they'd think about is killing themselves. I don't know but this sounds like the weirdest sh*t ever-

  • I think no matter who you ask they would have to have gone through the same thing you are going through and have found a solution to it to understand what your going through. I could say have sex and get over it if you hadn't put that part about taking your life. Truthfully you are one of the people who make me sick the most. Its either you don't understand what life means or don't care about it to use words like THAT so easily. I think to kill yourself is just as bad as killing a random person off the street and getting away with it. I'm sorry, but killing oneself over sex is just completely stupid to the point it leaves me unable to gather up any thoughts to say that would have an impact on you. If your going to be so persistent about it even after this being said then let me set a goal for yourself. Go out and find something that you can do instead of sex. Something that gets your mind off of it. Find something that you will enjoy doing so you won't think about sex as much.

  • Wtf is wrong with out. stop putting out messages that rape is totally ok.

    • Its not ok to do.. but I want it to happen to me not like violent rape, like date rape and it be a hot guy just someone to have sex with me already

  • Hmm... you also have a question where you say you would do anything to have a baby, and how your so desperate for a boyfriend that you'd even settle for a crappy one who cheats. Your a beautiful girl. And I understand that you just want to be loved, wanted, and needed. But you need to understand what love is... you have to love yourself first b4 you can love others. When you start loving yourself you will quickly drawn in an amazing man who will want to love you, make love to you, and have children with you. Loving yourself means not settling for less than you deserve, accepting your flaws (changing what can and should be changed to better yourself), and also recognizing your worth and what makes you unique. If you ever need any more advice feel free to email me. I

  • Find a nice boy, and f*ck him. You have a nice boy, who won't f*ck you. This is poor use of your time; you could always pick him up later.

    Nice boy, get laid.

    Go.

  • Still whining about sex, eh?

    Grow up already. Rape is never EVER something to be proud of. Furthermore, having sex will not make you fulfilled. We've been over this. You want to be normal. Having sex won't make you normal. Trying to stay positive and proactive will help. This question is f***ing bullsh*t.

  • Why would you feel the need to kill yourself over something so stupid?

    • Because I want it and its not happening and it hurts me

    • Sorry I don't get it....

  • If indeed this post is not a troll or a joke, I would strongly encourage you to find yourself some Psychiatric/psychological counseling.

    The sooner the better.

  • Lol, this is wonderful.

    If you're a troll, you got all of these people badly.

    If you're serious, just find some semi-cute guy. Get his number. Sext him at night for a while. Eventually he will ask you to hang out or something = guaranteed he wants it at this point.

  • ur not alone, I'm not as desperat, but I'm a virgin too. Nd yes it is embarrasing, but you have to learn how to deal with it. Nd find that special some1 that is definitly worth it. And you don't want to be raped, iv got friends that were raped, they are depressed becuz of it, nd will be for a long time, they had somthing stolen from them, their virginity. And he abused them, so don't wish for it.

  • I would say have sex with the next guy you date. I'm in the same situation I am a virgin and I would give my soul to lose it. I havn't even had a girlfriend so I'm not even close to having sex. Being a guy though I could rape someone but I'm too good of a person to do that. I would rather it be consensual or have a girl rape me which I'm pretty sure is very rare.

    • I have never had a bf

  • Why are you embarrassed? You should be proud I wish I was a virgin. Sex causes drama, heartache, regrets, and STD's. Unless it's with some who loves you.

    • Only one out of every 4 times having sex causes STD's :D. I gotta be a smartass

    • Out of how many times does it cause heartache or regret? I don't think it's worth it. To each his own.

  • You have a problem

    • I know

  • ok wait being a virgin is a good thing and it is a turn on to guys you should save it until you get married so your husband feels that much specail and its no reason to kill yourself over it sounds like yo need a good pick-me-up like a girls weekend or a "toys" party it wouldn't be the same but its probably enough to take the edge off

    • Are you still waiting for Jesus to bang you? Ain't gonna happen, doofus

    • Wtf I'm givin my opinion you need to chill I don't want anyone to bang me I want to make love with the guy I'm supoded to be with

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