Did I give it up too soon?

[Sydelicious]

So, I started dating this awesome guys about 3 weeks ago. We totally hit it off since the beginning, and have spent literally every other day together (it honestly would probably be more, but I have a son and so does he). Anyway, we have a ton in common, and just have amazing chemistry. I've never been able to let my guard down so quick. So, 16 days into things, we have amazing sex. It wasn't weird or awkward, just amazing! I was a little worried I gave it up too soon, and that I may not hear back from him. Of course the nest day I did, and we hung out again. And hooked up again. So, now I am just concerned that instead of getting to know each other mentally, we are moving too quick into physically. I just hope we didn't ruin any future potential for a lasting relationship by moving too fast. So I am wondering what y'all think. Should I talk to him about it? Or just play it out? Has anyone hooked up fast and had it last? Its crazy how amazing sex can make you feel (duh!) yet how confused it can make you feel too.

[Tamikaze]

No, I would not have any talks with him. There isn't much he can say. He cannot predict the future and where the two of you are headed after only 3 weeks.

That being said, you did hookup too quickly because if it is too soon for a guy to know if he might be falling in love or want a long-term relationship, it is too soon for sex.

I realize that a lot of people do it the opposite and have sex very quickly and then later hope for more to develop, but there are a lot of risks in doing that, at least for girls, because guys can and do have sex without ever worrying about developing feelings or wanting a long-term relationship. Girls have found themselves in what appears to be a relationship to them only to wonder why he never calls her girlfriend and to later be surprised when he moves on or just ends up being unreliable and perhaps seeing other women. Look at it from this perspective, guys wouldn't complain if you were to ask them if it was okay to start having sex, but they probably would freak if you were to ask them if it was okay to start a relationship. They do not equate sex with a relationship, love or a connection. They equate it with nothing other than pleasure.

What is done is done and you two are continuing to see each other, so I suggest seeing how things go. I would give it at least another month and then, if you continue to wonder what is going on, you might want to ask him how he feels about the two of you and if he would consider you his girlfriend. Maybe by then you will know (either he is calling you girlfriend or he is calling you a lot less frequently) which direction things are headed, but if not, ask the question.

[Anonymous]

I did, we talked for awhile and then had our amazing sex on the 3rd date.. I felt the same way you do. We also had other weird stuff happen, but anyway we've been together for years now and he says that he wouldn't have cared either way if we hooked up the first night we went out, said he'd have preferred it, of course as any guy would.. I asked him you know wouldn't you have thought I was an easy slut or something and he says no, I find this kind of disturbing in a way, but I don't think they really care when it happens as long as it does and I also think that if a guy is going to label you a slut for giving it up to soon that he already has that in his head before it even happens.. All depends on what he's looking for and it sounds like the two of you have a great connection! If your worried about moving to quickly in a physical direction rather than mental I would just talk to him and see what he thinks about it, Someone once told me or I read it somewhere, actually I think I heard from the stripper on desperate housewives.. Never mind probably not a good example.. But in order to have a great mental connection you need to be completely comfortable with each other in all aspects, and it sounds like you guys have some stuff in common and are very comfortable in the bedroom, I wouldn't worry about it, just talk more. And Congratulations!

[Tamikaze]

I agree, sex can happen quickly and you can later end up in a relationship, but guys do go out with girls that they just want sex with and never imagine having a relationship with. It happens a lot. So, if you don't want to have sex with a guy who later acts like it was no big thing and treats you the same, it's better to wait. It's seems like anymore girls are supposed to act like casual sex is great but they never quite understand how a guy can have sex with them and not want more.

[BreannaReane]

I knew my current boyfriend as much as you did before I actually gave it up to him. And we are going on a year and 3 months we've known each other for two. So I would have to say there is a possible chance of still getting to know him mentally instead of physically. I also think you should talk to him about how you feel. It will get it off your chest and you won't be dreading it every single day.

[Ninetales101]

So I think you gave it up too soon. I think the concept
of making a guy wait for sex i not a good idea as is will say two things. One that you don’t trust him. Two you don’t even trust your own judgment on picking a person to start a relationship with. Trust is a huge part of a relationship and if you can’t trust yourself how do you expect him to trust you. So if you are worried about a guy using you I say look for specific things that make you think he is using you for sex. Like making you feel guilty, only talking about sex, not focusing on other parts of being in a relationship.

[Ninetales101]

I meant to say I don’t think you gave it up too soon. There was an error