Sexual Health
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Slept with co-worker, now what?

I am so confused! After a lot of flirting, sexting, etc., I slept with my co-worker. He pursued me for a long time, I was supposedly this dream of something he could never attain. We spent an entire day together at a hotel. I thought the sex was really good. He seemed really bothered that I did not have an orgasm the first time, the next two times I did and it was incredible. I was comfortable around him and he seemed the same. It did not seem weird at all. We have worked together for 7 years and have always had a great working relationship/friendship. Well, ever since "the day", he has been distant and 'professional' at work. No more dirty text messages, no comments on how I good I look or anything. Only completely platonic conversations. After over a week of this completely opposite type of behavior, I asked him about and he came up with some really lame excuses. BTW - I am 43, married/same guy for 16 years. He is 35, engaged/living together. He has told me about three other (younger) women he had relationships with from work. Was it just the thrill of the chase? Did I not live up to his expectations? Is he wanting me to pursue him? Should I try to talk to him again or just go on as friendly co-workers? We have lunch usually at least once a week, should I stop?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • At first, I thought maybe you were in an emotional affair (look this up online) as this is something that I was involved in. However, when you told me he had relationships with THREE other women, that was a red flag. You didn't say if these were relationships while with the girl he is engaged to or not. If it was, the red flag gets bigger. It sounds like this guy is into the chase & then once he gets what he wants, its over. You don't sound that upset which makes me wonder what your motivation was -- just looking for fun? Or, are you unhappy in your marriage? If you are happy, then move on & quit going to lunch with this guy. Don't give him the time of day. He spends a day with you having sex & then turns his back on you? He doesn't deserve any attention. If on the other hand you thought there was going to be more with him, I would call him out. What would prevent you from telling his gf? Not that you SHOULD do this, but maybe he needs a wake up call. Mention to him that maybe his girlfriend needs to know. I mean, the guy is going to just keep doing this so he is hurting a lot of people. Personally, I would be a mess if I had sex with a guy & he turned him back on me.

  • You were both in the wrong and I don`t know why you thought you were special if the person he is ENGAGED to isn`t. It`s called tactics, he wanted to achieve the "impossible" honey and you fell for them hard. You definitely got what you deserved for not using your better judgment so keep it moving along and at least have some sort of respect for yourself now by taking care of your marriage or being single if you`re not in an open one and don`t have the decency to at least let your husband know what you`re doing so he can make decisions with his feelings too. Next time think about everyone`s feelings. If you`re fine with your husband pursuing other women the same way you did with this man then fine but just know you don`t mean anything other than what`s between your legs to men like this and think about times where you were in extreme pain (whether it was relationship or life wise) and realize you`re doing another woman MAJOR DAMAGE just like it was done to you at some point or another.

  • what the hell?

    Your MARRIED! and He's engaged.

    You expect more then sex?

    how could there be anything else.

    sounds like you were a one night stand. just a fun little experiment.

    ughh. your post just deeply upset me.

    I'm so against people being un-faithful.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You are a complete whore you know that right. Your husband will find out and will leave you!lol I hope he gave you an std. What an idiot you are! And by the way..He's not contacting you because you were a terrible lay! If you were any good he'd want another round.

  • Now what? Now he moves on to the next girl. He already has a relationship, all he's looking for is a good time and the thrill of the chase. Once he got you into bed he was done with you in all romantic sense.

    I feel sorry for your husband.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 10

  • Cheating on your husband isn't cool. You should stop. :|

  • It was just the thrill of the chase, you were just a piece of ass, he's not into you now that he's had you, and I hope you enjoyed cheating on your husband, maybe you should be more worried about him than your co-worker

  • You are married, and he is in a relationship.

    Maybe he felt guilt. Maybe he got caught. Maybe he was concerned about the fact that the relationship cannot go any further.

  • Just another notch in his bed post ...

  • I don't agree with your behavior so from that stand point I say move on. But as a woman I still say move on. He is trash and was just using you. Your life is better without him.

  • Certainly looks like thrill of chase, but what was your stand? Were you willing to leave a steady relationship for him, or were you just in the mood of having fun?

  • ya leave that douche alone...he just wanted you in the sack and got it.

  • Your married? I bet your husband finds out some how, and I bet his girl friend does to.

    it's only a matter of time.

  • Sounds like the thrill of the chase for him, IMO. But, then again...I'm just a 20 year old. Things may be different as we get older.

  • read: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2356329-dating-co-workers-is-bad-did-you-realize-the-consequences

  • oh oh .. not good.

    Work and sex do not mix well... Usually guys who pursue you at work are pursuing everyone else they can at work too. Not to mention you might be jeparsizing your job.

    Don't blame yourself for his change in behaviour towards you! It was the chase that he was after.. and the game is over.

    I would not think about it too much. But don't give this guy any chance. He is a looser.

  • 0 remorse from this 'lady' that's why I don't trust bitches.

  • Bi*** spotted. That's why I am single. No girl-friend, marriage or cheating.

  • you two are both in relationships. ask yourself why are you in a relationship and cheating on your guy with this guy who has someone in his life? and apparently he's hooking up with random women at work. I'd just distance yourself. this isn't going to go anywhere.

  • confusin

  • Sounds like it was defiantly the thrill of the chase that he was going for. I would just keep things platonic with him keep the lunches only if you can handle the changed behavior.

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