I think women should be able to feel free and safe enough to do the very thing you're suggesting, and it's also been my experience that once they do feel that level of safety--romantic intimacy doesn't hurt, either--they're much more likely to be open in the bedroom and do things like initiate sex or demonstrate, either vocally or physically, what they want to do/have done to them.
That being said, I think /every/ person on the planet enjoys having a certain level of openness in their sex lives regardless of their sex or gender, which seems to be what your question is asking.
As for whether women enjoy having their partner initiate sex or doing it themselves, that's all up to the individual. Some women are aggressive in the bedroom, others not so much. As long as there's open communication going on, any which way is fine. To answer your question directly, it's impossible to generalize what sexually confident women prefer in bed because we're all different. :)
We like a good mix. However, I personally prefer a guy who knows what he likes (as well as me) and takes the lead. I like initiating but then letting him take the lead once things start getting heated.
Once things get going, my brain/creativity shuts off, and I just go with the flow.
No, I'm sort of small. 5'5" and 105 lbs. It would be a bit weird for me to control a guy who's probably twice my size. I very much believe in guys taking control. The meek, emasculate males are not my thing...
This is my opinion. Really good sex requires some give and take, the "lead" changes during foreplay and intercourse. I call the fist phase of intimacy "build-up," basically everything that happens before both partners are completely naked. I think the guy should lead all the "build-up," and start the foreplay. The progression during and after foreplay and during intercourse is a "give and take" series of "lead" changes.