What do I do if my boyfriend wants blow jobs and I really don't feel comfortable?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and he is starting to get very impatient at the fact I won't give him blow jobs. He has decided he is going to leave me if I do not for take in it. He says its very important to him and that he has no issues eating me out so I should not be so selfish, and honest I could care less if he ever eats me out. Is it wrong for me to not want to give him a blow job? Also the pre come seems to make my mouth go numb, and its not very comforting while ur trying to do it and you can hardly feel ur mouth. I don't know what to do.. Should he be so selfish? I love him and do want a very good future with him but he is threatening to leave me if I do not become more open to more foreplay. O|f course I wanna try but I hate the fact I have to grit my teeth to do it. Why should I do something I don't wanna do? Is it worth losing him?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I've noticed a disturbing trend in society, lately: Certain sexes are beginning to feel entitled to certain things as a kind of "right," and for men, a blowjob is definitely one of them.

    But it's not.

    I always believe in equality in a relationship, but equality isn't always about giving/receiving in equal amounts: It's about each partner having the same opportunities as the other. You say you don't care if he goes down on you, and presumably, you've told him this (if not, now's a good time to say so). I'm going to work with the assumption that you definitely haven't been giving him any encouragement, since you imply that it's not a big deal for you: In that case, he's going down on you because he enjoys it--he doesn't have to.

    You, on the other hand, /don't/ enjoy going down on him (which is perfectly acceptable, by the way; we like what we like and we don't like what we don't like--such is the way of sexual preferences). You've obviously given it a shot (or several) in the past, which is commendable, but it's just unpleasant for you. You should never feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do, especially within the context of a sexual or romantic relationship.

    With all this in mind, my opinion is that he has equal opportunity to stop going down on you, he just doesn't want to take it because he enjoys eating you out. Therefore, you shouldn't feel obligated to give him a blowjob; the equality of the relationship is still intact.

    There are other ways to have sex that don't involve oral stimulation. If he absolutely /has/ to have oral stimulation in order to get off and maintain his sexual health--which I sincerely doubt, but it's possible, so I'll mention it--then you can: A) Occasionally treat him to a blowjob even though you don't like it (which isn't a bad practice, regardless; after all, if he didn't enjoy performing a certain sex act on you that got you especially excited, you'd appreciate it if he still did it for you every now and then, right?); or B) Let him leave.

    Otherwise, don't let him bully you, sweetheart. There's a difference between being "open to foreplay" and "subservient to whatever you want".

What Guys Said 1

  • at the 18-24 age group, if the girl doesn't give oral, id move on and find someone who will

    • Wow, how thoughtful. You are such boyfriend material. My prince charming. *barfs up a lung*

What Girls Said 1

  • Feel free to come and see how to give a blow job link and enjoy free advices ... Its all about attitude regarding how to give a blow job...

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