How far is too far for a Christian?

[Anonymous]

I am a Christian guy, and I have some questions about how far is too far when it comes to touching, making out, etc. I would feel better if other Christians answered this. The bible talks about breasts and man's natural attraction to them. It never says that physical contact with a woman's chest is sex. But then again...does it? So like if I touch my girlfriends boobs while making out or something, is this considered sexually immoral? When I look at a woman's breasts (not that I go looking for them, but you can't really avoid them either...lol) I don't think about having sex. And I wouldn't want to go to 3rd base if I touched my gf's breasts. Just curious, not trying to sound pervy or anything

[Anonymous]

Answering this at risk of necroposting an old thread:

You have a firm line for yourself not to have sex (which would be anything involving direct touching or viewing of genitals, and/or bringing yourself or your partner to orgasm). Since that's the case, so long as you and her share the same boundaries and agree to the same level of intimacy, then I don't see anything wrong with it. Yes, there's a sexual component to it, but you're going to have sexual feelings for your prospective life partner and that's okay. If you're at the level of your relationship where you are ready to be passionately intimate, then it's fine be quite physical, in my opinion. If she's okay with it, I don't see an issue with feeling each other up, including each other's chest and butt, whether over or under clothing. If you want to look and she wants you to do so, then her ending up topless is okay, too, in my opinion. (As a bigger social point, I don't think it should be wrong for women to go topless where men are allowed to do so.) The bright line, again, would be to not cause either of you to orgasm, and not touch or view bare skin between the legs. So keep underpants/swim bottoms on.
You also have to decide what additional things you want to reserve for marriage even if there isn't anything wrong with them. Maybe you'd technically be okay with making out in only underpants, tugging them down in back, because you still aren't having sex and aren't totally nude, but do you want to leave only sex and being nude for marriage, or do you want additional things to explore? And you don't want to go to the full limit you've set yourselves right away, you should let things develop. Discuss with each other where you're at and what you want.

[Bruce]

If you have a question about the morality of touching a girls breasts, I have not the slightest idea of why you would direct it to this site...especially since you have indicated that you are under the legal age of 18...not that you don't have the right to ask.

If you are a "Christian guy" why don't you direct your inquiry to someone that you KNOW is another "Christian Guy" or "Christian Girl" ? This site discusses "Sexuality" (and sometimes in it's "rawest" terms), or haven't' you noticed) ?

I have a problem with the way you have parsed your question, in terms of your seeming naiveté on the subject:

" So like if I touch my girlfriends boobs while making out or something, is this considered sexually immoral?"

Pardon my supposed insensativity to your question, but if you are a Christian Guy, and supposedly are "schooled" in Christian belief, biblical teaching, and just plain Christian Morality from the stricted point of view...you already know the Christian Answer to your question...

What are you asking here...since you are "not tryin to sound pervy or anything"

Sorry to say that is as much as I can indulge a question like yours.

You friend in Christ,

Bruce Alan

[Asker]

I'm actually asking this for future referance. I don't even have a girlfriend right now... But the only reason I asked this question is because I never really talked about it... Sorry if I offended you. I just want some answers here people that's all.

[akdfljasdlkfj]

This is a tough question. I think a good rule of thumb is rather than seeing how far you can push it without being immoral, look at it as "how close to complete purity can I keep it?" When it comes to sinning, it is so hard not to sin. We're human, and we like to. As Jesus said, a man who so much as looks at a woman lustfully has already committed the sin of adultery in his heart. While you may not be eternally condemed for touching your girlfriend's breasts, your goal in your Christian walk should be to keep your mind focused on a higher level and avoid ALL things immoral. If you ask me, any sort of touching can easily lead to other things, so it is best and safest to avoid such things. Instead of acting as a substitute for sex, it will just ignite the flame of desire for such things, you know? In an ideal world, we would not even kiss someone before we were eternally committed to that person. Sex and sexuality were created to form a unbreakable bond between husband and wife. Ideally, all such activities would take place only within the constitution of marriage. While God understands that you may slip up, he expects you to at least try to avoid such behaviors. The key is recognizing the difference between right and wrong, and the fact that you even asked this question shows that you are seeking truth.

God bless you!

[Asker]

Thanks a bunch :)

[bitesizedonut]

I try and think of God's reasoning behind His rules as I obey them so that it is easier to apply them to my life in general. Why would God forbid us from having premarital sex? There is in part the medically unsafe aspects to think of - it is an easy way of transmitting disease. Then there is the concept of it destroying the family unit (especially back when the bible was written - there was no such thing as protection from STDs or birth control or emergency contraceptives so often times sex lead to children... being a bastard back then wasn't that great... not that it is much better now). But perhaps the more important reason I think for most of God's rules is simply that breaking them would take us further from Him and HIs Love. If you feel that doing this would take you further from Him or if you feel ashamed in doing it, I would say these are relatively good indicators that you should not be doing something. Have you tried talking to a pastor about this? I know it seems awkward, but if you have a man in the church who you can trust to share this with, I would.

Good luck.

[toulouse]

He just wants to k about touching breasts, not about sex... What do you think about second base, or is ANY TOUCHING inappropriate?

[Asker]

Thanks so much for your help. And for the comment above me your eight I wanna know really is any touching of another woman's body immoral. I want to show my affection to my future girlfriend, but you don't want to do something God wouldn't want me to.

[bitesizedonut]

@toulouse - I wasn't just referencing sex. I said plainly, "if you feel that doing this (and by this I meant what he is referencing in his question) would take you further from Him or if you feel ashamed in doing it, I would say these are relatively good indicators that you should not be doing something (and by something I mean pretty much anything, to include his particular question)."

[crazyblue]

i feel for you. I'm christian, I understand where your coming from, I don't think its immoral, simply because she is ur girlfriend, ur not driving around grabbing random pplease boobs because you like them. Its a really "iffy" subject and I don't like the politically correct answer that they feed us. I think its where ever you feel is comfortable without feeling guilty. Pray about it, see what happens

[Asker]

Thanks so much ^_^

[quinner23x]

think for ur self grow sum balls nd face the world on ur own.

[Asker]

I want to be Christian nobody is making me. How about you be more respectful of someone else's beliefs. And if not, then don't comment.

[jacquesvol]

There is no susch thing as "absolute truth" Every preacher will give you a slightly different answer because the Bible is full of contradictions. Don't worry about it, do what seems good, without hurting anyone and you'll be OK.

[Asker]

I know the bible is very confusing. But I just want to see how other Christians feel on the matter

[Bruce]

Agree with you.

[Anonymous]

well I'm a christian and I only stop at sex. that's it, blowjobs, going down on her, all of it. you gget the idea

[Anonymous]

only go up to ur limitations. as a christian myself I get where ur coming from. if you can touch ur girlfriens boobs and still be able to control yourself, then go ahead. but if you find yourself trying to make excuses to keep pushing the limit cause the bible doesn't directly say something, then you need to reevaluate why you want to touch her breasts while making out.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot :)