Are blowjobs necessary in the relationship?

Would you guys seriously not pursue a relationship with a girl you were interested in, if you knew she does not do blowjobs: non-negotiable?

It doesn't matter why.

If you pull out the unfair card, for example: why should I do oral on her, if she does not reciprocate? Then my answer is - I don't even care for oral that much. I don't mind living without it.

All in all, are you telling me that you would be unsatisfied with only having sex, and no blowjobs?

  • Deal-breaker
    33% (21)63% (57)51% (78)Vote
  • Not a deal-breaker
    67% (42)37% (34)49% (76)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Honestly, I think the openness of sex in today's society has made most girls willing to do things they wouldn't have otherwise (I'm not just referring to bjs), while it has made guys expect a hell of a lot more than they are entitled to.
Sex is not a relationship, and it is not love. Anyone who would break off a relationship because of sexual reasons, when they care about a person, is obviously not a worthy partner.
Also, girls who vote can do so obviously, but I'm pretty much disregarding your votes, based on the fact that... you have no d***s.
I appreciate all the comments and votes, whether I agreed with them or not. I don't expect people to say what I want to hear. I have given some up-ratings, but not a single down. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I've more or less got what I wanted from this question. if anything, most of you have reinforced my views. Either way, people can keep commenting/voting if they like, but I'd rather stop getting notifications now. They're annoying. Thanks again.
All I hear is blah blah blah blah. If I keep receiving notifications which I no longer care about, I will simply request for the deletion of this question, and you can all lose your points. Thanks.

0|0
16|55

Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing sexual is ever required in a relationship! Seriously, if someone is going to pressure you to be someone you're not then don't even bother with them. It's as simple as that. If you tell a guy that you don't want to give head and can't except that, tell him to take a hike. You deserve to be respected as a person.

    13|5
    • I was going to give best answer to one of the guy answers. Actually I was just gonna wait a few more days. But I really love your wording because that is precisely how I feel. And I respect that someone at 18 is saying it because I feel a lot of younger girls out there start out sexual really early because they think it makes them more mature, and because they would lose the guy otherwise. I've had so many friends regret a lot of things they did when still in high school. I'm glad I'm not one.

    • Show All
    • HELL YES, blow jobs are a must!

    • It's not about the sexual act it's about bringing pleasure to the person you love. I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to want a partner with strong sexual chemistry. There are very few things I would not do to bring my partner pleasure, if she wanted it. I guess you have to balance your dislike in doing the act with how much you want to make that person happy. If giving blowjobs is really that abhorrent of an act, then don't do it. But it would show me where your threshold is.

What Guys Said 55

  • It's not so much the blowjob, as the rigid statement of the type of sex we won't be having. Always a bad sign.

    6|6
    • It is not a statement that there will not be sex. in fact, in the question I specified the availability of sex.

    • Show All
    • The distinction was clear, and clearly false. I was just making sense of what you wrote.

      In any event, you have missed my point; whether oral is sex or not, a woman who begins a sexual relationship by telling me what will be missing from it, rarely drops this habit.

    • Drops what habit? whatever, it doesn't matter.

  • I beleive that when a male and female are bound together with love, their hearts, minds, eyes and lips bond together. f course this is a metaphor:

    Heart: Feelings

    Mind: Thoughts and reason.

    Eyes: Five senses

    Lips: Sexual attraction

    According to me, an ideal love has to include the "heart" bond and "mind" bond, with the others being optional. (Better if they are there, but they shouldn't be deal-breakers).

    2|0
  • honestly I believe relationships last ONLY with compromise. so maybe if the guy gets his blowjobs that he needs and trust me theyre important! he needs to do a big ass compromise for her and that isn't just restricted to sexual things.

    so maybe if he wants his blowjobs so badly she should make him happy

    BUT

    than he needs to do a compromise for her. like maybe being more romantic, going to see her parents (eek!), and/or doing more things she likes (yoga, watching chick flicks, shopping, etc...) lol

    relationships should never be win/lose or lose/lose

    a healthy relationship needs to be ALWAYS WIN/WIN!

    4|0
  • Ok. If you don't give blowjobs, do you do anal?

    0|2
  • I would still pursue a relationship! So what if she doesn't want to give me a blowjob, love is not about favors. If I go down on her I don't really expect the same from her. It would be nice if she was willing to experiment a little bit or have sex slightly often, but even without those I wouldn't think any less of her because she wouldn't give me a blowjob.

    7|0
    • I am glad there are guys out there with your viewpoint. Well, I mean, I know of such guys for sure, but they are certainly far and in-between.

More from Guys
50

What Girls Said 16

  • I don't feel it is a requirement any more than I think my dates have to go down on me, but I do think most guys truly enjoy a good bj. I rather enjoy making the guy I am with happy and would never refuse to give him a bj and in fact I probably jump on it with out him saying much of anything.

    2|1
  • I think it does matter why the girl won't do it. There shouldn't really be anything that's totally non-negotiable if you're in a truly loving relationship.

    Breaking it off because of that (or something related) is not a strictly sexual reason. It means there's some other issue (whether it's selfishness or a lack of trust, etc.) that's interfering with your ability to communicate and compromise. When you love someone, you compromise with each other, not because you have to, but because you LOVE each other. It's impossible to spend your life with someone happily and never compromise; we all have our differences.

    You're looking at things on the surface and judging others because they have different values than you. What if you were madly in love with someone, and he wanted to talk to you about a compromise? Would you turn him away and claim he doesn't love you just because he doesn't love every single thing you do exactly the way you do it then?

    Perhaps some people will tell you it's not necessary for them, and I don't think it's the blowjob itself that's necessary, but it's the trust and intimacy you have in that moment when you're willing to be completely vulnerable to them. In my experience, oral has felt much more intimate than sex, and that's why it took me longer to do. But the only guy I've ever given oral to, never ever asked me for it. I did it because I loved him so I wanted to try something new, because I trusted him.

    4|2
  • if he's serious about you, he won't make you do what you're not comfortable with. there is no rule that states that a girl has to do that inorder to maintain a relationship.

    3|0
    • True, but aren't relationships all about sacrifice? If he enjoys it so much, where's the harm in relenting once a month for his happiness? I'm sure he'll return the favor and not even necessarily in a sexual manner if you aren't into it, particularly if he realizes that you don't like it

  • Girl I've made it very clear I don't give blowjobs to guys and they still want to pop my cherry. Don't listen to these guys lol. Now true, for some guys it is a dealbreaker because they really like it but most guys are fine with just putting it in, if you know what I mean.

    A vagina beats a mouth any day for most guys, you just have to make sure you are willing to explore other options like new sex positions, places, and maybe even things like toys and food. Sadly you do have to compensate for the loss of oral sex in the relationship.

    It's utterly degrading to me so I will NEVER do it, and again, I have turned down many men even tho they knew that about me.

    4|0
    • I agree with you. I do know there are guys who don't need it. But it seems to me these days it's like 99% of them pretty much think it's a given with the girls they go out with. I've been in a relationship for a long time and recently I'm single. Honestly, the market isn't that great. It's slim pickings actually..

      I've never had to compensate for oral sex before, and I don't plan on lowering my morals or comfort levels for anything/anyone.

    • Show All
    • I respect that. And I definitely am not about to judge others. I have friends who are quite open sexually and have done a lot of crazy things. And when they get drunk and in a confiding mood, I've also seen them cry and regret pretty much all of it.

      Therefore, I agree. I don't want to regret these types of things especially. And any man I am with who wants me do so for the transient pleasure of any perverse fantasy, was never a worthy partner to begin with.

    • For REAL. I think most girls just do it because they believe a man won't stay with them if they don't. But how many of these same girls are broken up with even after degrading themselves sexually? I'll simply take my chances with my no BJ policy.

  • Well... okay. I can understand where you are coming from. It is a personal preference if you don't want to give a blowjob to your partner. However, if I was interested in someone who didn't give oral to me.. I wouldn't pursue them anymore. Personally for me, (and just me) you should be willing to do anything in bed. Especially if you end up loving that person... and lets say get married. Why should their be intimate walls in a relationship? Sex is not the only thing in a relationship but it is a factor. Its one way you show your affection to one another as well as nurture a relationship. I would also hate to think their is a part of my body that partner would not want to touch... or kiss. It would make me feel bad and ugly. I could only imagine how a man feels when his wife refuses to give him oral. It just doesn't seem right to me. Sex doesn't equal love... but in love.. there is love making and you should enjoy each others bodies and feel comfortable giving as well as receiving.

    0|0
More from Girls
11
Loading...