Are blowjobs necessary in the relationship?

Would you guys seriously not pursue a relationship with a girl you were interested in, if you knew she does not do blowjobs: non-negotiable?

It doesn't matter why.

If you pull out the unfair card, for example: why should I do oral on her, if she does not reciprocate? Then my answer is - I don't even care for oral that much. I don't mind living without it.

All in all, are you telling me that you would be unsatisfied with only having sex, and no blowjobs?

This question has a poll!

Updates:
Honestly, I think the openness of sex in today's society has made most girls willing to do things they wouldn't have otherwise (I'm not just referring to bjs), while it has made guys expect a hell of a lot more than they are entitled to.
Sex is not a relationship, and it is not love. Anyone who would break off a relationship because of sexual reasons, when they care about a person, is obviously not a worthy partner.
Also, girls who vote can do so obviously, but I'm pretty much disregarding your votes, based on the fact that... you have no d***s.
I appreciate all the comments and votes, whether I agreed with them or not. I don't expect people to say what I want to hear. I have given some up-ratings, but not a single down. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I've more or less got what I wanted from this question. if anything, most of you have reinforced my views. Either way, people can keep commenting/voting if they like, but I'd rather stop getting notifications now. They're annoying. Thanks again.
All I hear is blah blah blah blah. If I keep receiving notifications which I no longer care about, I will simply request for the deletion of this question, and you can all lose your points. Thanks.
 

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

Most Helpful Opinion

  • Nothing sexual is ever required in a relationship! Seriously, if someone is going to pressure you to be someone you're not then don't even bother with them. It's as simple as that. If you tell a guy that you don't want to give head and can't except that, tell him to take a hike. You deserve to be respected as a person.

    • HELL YES, blow jobs are a must!

    • Yeah for me I love to please guys but there was a time in my life where I felt very vunerable and I didn't want just a physical connection so it totally makes sense to me that someone wouldn't want to.

    • I don't see why he'd even have to ask you / force you to do that. if you love him you should WANT to give him a bj. I know I would...

    • Show Older

What Guys Said 55

  • 24d

    Find someone that makes you SO HOT that you'll WANT to do ANYTHING and everything to his body + viceversa, gal! OK, I will exclude anything anal...

  • Bottom line better to deal with it out front as opposed to fighting about it for forty years. worse is when you do it for him while you hate doing it every time. Then h ou decide to quit and he feels like it a rejection of him since something changed. When actually all she did was what she would have done years ago had she not been afraid he wouldn't love her if she didn't do it for him. 15 years later,he still isn't convinced that it isn't about something he has done wrong or more aptly what he isn't doing well enough to deserve it.

  • Yes its a deal-breaker. We won't lose points if the question gets deleted but you will.

  • It would be a turn-off for guys if their girlfriend doesn't give them bj's and they like it. Just like how girls have a lot of emotional needs in relationships, guys have physical needs. I wouldn't break up with a girl, but then I wouldn't be as into a relationship sexually if you didn't do it. And there's always a chance that he will meet some girl out there who's very sexually compatible to him and he might be unfaithful, even if he never intended to do so or didn't wish it.

    Would you mind if he got it from someone else? A relationship with someone else who strictly gives bj's to him because you wont, like an escort. If a guy had bj's in previous relationships or escapades, its kind of hard to get into a relationship without it.

    • alright, but that's not what relationships are about?

  • yes, absolutely she gets dropped immediately. I don't care if she won't let me come in her mouth, but she needs to be willing to give it a good sucking.

  • "expect a hell of a lot more than they're entitled to". What does entitlement have to do with anything? I figure you see BJs as subservient so you don't like it. That's normal I guess, but I don't see why anything sexual should be "non-negotiable". What's the big deal? Find someone you trust and enjoy yourself or enjoy doing things for him.

  • If I knew for sure she didn't do blowjobs, I would pass. It's too basic nowdays. It's one of the best things there are, a blowjob. Having sex is good but getting blown may be even better

    Only having sex is too boring. I want more than just missionary and cowgirl. Put your mouth on there sweetie

  • I would and I think a lot of would guys. although a lot of definitely will not guys will not

  • me and my girlfriend are working out fine and she never ever gives me a bj and I don't ask I give her oral because I love o do it and I know she loves it also. just because she doesn't feel comfortible doing somthing why would anyone leave them or not want to continue the relationship.

  • they usually can't fit me in their mouth. but if they at least try ill go down on them. its the thought that counts.

  • As guy I would not care if my girlfriend did not performed oral sex on me and I did on her, as long as she is comfortable and happy that is all I care about

  • yes... its so pleasing!

    but its just a by-thing...only thng tat matters is love

  • Call me weird, but I like giving oral to a girl even more than receiving.

    • RESPECT BRO!!!!...RESPECT

  • blah, blah, blah...

  • You have a vagina so you don't have to suck d***...thats why its there...

  • If someone, man or girl, really likes/enjoys oral, be it giving, or receiving, (or both hopefully ;), why would you really start to date someone who doesn't? I can see making a compromise or simply saying, "ohh well, I can live without that", but, would you really be willing to give up something you really like and enjoy, possibly for a long time, as you enter a relationship? And, what is it that you simply would not give up?

    I personally, have dated a woman who didn't give oral. But, at the end of the day, why should anyone have to give up what they like? I mean, just goes to show that maybe you two are compatible sesually, and rather you all say it here or not, being sexually compatible is pretty important whenever you both decide to have sex.

    Just something to think about.

  • Oh just give him a blow job. Go on.

    Ask him to give it a good wash first and eat no cheese for a week and then just do it.

    DO IT!

    Love,

    Pedro

  • Personally me being a guy bjs are not necessary in a relationship (it has been a while since I last had a girlfriend I admit). If you are only dating for sex and pleasure why are you dating at all? the original point of dating is to find a soulmate (a human has a half of a soul their other half is eith their true partner) and live happily ever after. personally (again) I date to try to find that girl that I wish to spend the rest of my life with. you can have sex after your married to the man you truly love.

  • I don't get it...

    Like, I've never had a blowjob before, but I hear so many girls complaining about how they don't like doing it... that I dunno. I would feel VERY uncomfortable sitting there, doing nothing at all, while a girl that I like (or even LOVE) does something that she doesn't feel like doing AT ALL. To me, that's called taking advantage of someone, and it feels extremely wrong to me. And I don't get how some guys claim to love a girl, yet are OK with making her do something she doesn't want to.

    So the only way I'd be OK with getting a blowjob is if she actually WANTS to do it. Because I heard some girls actually like it, so WTF? If they like it, then sure, why not? But if they don't, I don't see why ANY guy in the world should have the right to force a girl to do it.

    Since I can't speak for other guys, I can't answer your question. But what I can tell you is I would rather die, than become some so selfish as to think it's OK to make my girlfriend do something that she finds gross.

    I've survived without a blowjob for 23 years, and so I'm pretty damn sure blowjobs will be one of the last things on my list of things that are necessary to make a relationship work between me and a girl I deeply care about.

    • I love your answer!!

    • Thts weird I live in wisconsin too

    • But would you not do something you don't like for a girl you love? Relationships are all about compromise, so it's not a bad thing to compromise for your partner on something like that if it gives them pleasure

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  • I can and have ended relationships because someone decided they were not ok with standard sexual practices. Sex is an important part of life and I don't have time to waste on someone who isn't interested in being sexual. It is too big a sacrifice to make for anyone.

  • I didn't expect this to be a deal breaker to so many guys. Its not a deal breaker for me though.

  • I beleive that when a male and female are bound together with love, their hearts, minds, eyes and lips bond together. f course this is a metaphor:

    Heart: Feelings

    Mind: Thoughts and reason.

    Eyes: Five senses

    Lips: Sexual attraction

    According to me, an ideal love has to include the "heart" bond and "mind" bond, with the others being optional. (Better if they are there, but they shouldn't be deal-breakers).

  • variety is the spice of life and If I'm in it for the long run just having sex would be kinda boring after a while so a BJ every now and then would help keep things interesting.

  • I have dated multiple girls who would not give blow jobs. Don't get me wrong just like every other male out there I thouroughly enjoy them but you can live without. If the girl I like is not into oral that doesn't bother me.

  • Yes ! Guys like, he should return the favor ...

  • Of course blowjobs are important WTF? Dump that bitch if she doesn't, she is probably doing to others.

  • yes the best thing to give ur boy friend is a blow job

  • Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah Blah, Blah

  • Ok. If you don't give blowjobs, do you do anal?

  • It comes down to the guy. Kinda like in high school some guys will pressure you to have sex and some just want a relationship and don't care about sex.

    Personally sex is important for me in a relationship and I would be p*ssed if the girl wouldn't give head.

  • blow jobs shouldnt be necessary in a relatinship but if a girl is willing to give you a nice bj its the most amazing thing ever especially if she wants to

  • i don't really think a relationship should be based on blow jobs . but if a guy has a thing for them and its sort of his sexual preference then in that relationship they'd be necessary otherwise the guy is going to lose interest in the girl or cheat on her .

  • I Could Easily Live Without Them.

    They Are Nice, But A Warm Wet Pussy Is Better ;-)

    And Sure, I'd Still Go Down On A Girl, If It Makes Her Feel Good About Herself.

  • Younger people such as myself included need spicyness in the bedroom.

    Oral is /almost/ necessary in a immature relationship.

    It's just foreplay, and any woman that thinks it's not intimate enough for them.

    Men don't need porn stars going down on them, read some books, watch some videos.

    Be passionate about it. You don't have to do it often.

    It's just like women and giving their husbands of bf's anal for the b-day. I mean really? lmao.

  • The idea of this post is vary broad in the opinions expressed here. There are the guys that like to be like homie don't take that bs from a woman if she don't want to, to the she's under my thumb (rolling stones ref) she'll do anything for a guy. But seems to have gone from something about not liking or enjoying blowjobs to a beezy got to make her man happy. In all honesty its going to be about to each his or her own. I my self didn't like receiving blowjobs because the first time it was given to me she bit me. lol I know right crazy girl huh?! But my new girlfriend loves to do give head so I went out on a limb for her and let her do it. I finally was able to see how awesome all my bro's were telling me about Blowjobs. I think its the same thing for girls. They might of had a bad experience or might find doing a blowjob disgusting. So it should be really only how comfortable each person feels. If the girl likes to do a B.J. and the guy is likes it it's balanced. But if a guy is less comfortable about it then he can go out on that limb if he really cares for the girl and vice-versa. I also believe that a relationship's need to have a balanced point of sexual contact emotionality, and friendship. As well as good health wealth and love as it is explained in The Mystery Method.

    As I draw my explanation to a close, There really is no strait answer so you really need to find in yourself or himself and when times are right to experiment. Just do not let things get stagnant cause you guys can possible drift apart.

  • honestly I believe relationships last ONLY with compromise. so maybe if the guy gets his blowjobs that he needs and trust me theyre important! he needs to do a big ass compromise for her and that isn't just restricted to sexual things.

    so maybe if he wants his blowjobs so badly she should make him happy

    BUT

    than he needs to do a compromise for her. like maybe being more romantic, going to see her parents (eek!), and/or doing more things she likes (yoga, watching chick flicks, shopping, etc...) lol

    relationships should never be win/lose or lose/lose

    a healthy relationship needs to be ALWAYS WIN/WIN!

  • Go to account, settings and uncheck email notifications that will stop them.

  • Sounds like she wouldn't be very fun sexually, I'd have to pass.

  • Who the hell wants to go out with a self-righteous, stuck-up, selfish, conceited bitch that doesn't give blowjobs? Good luck finding a man.

    • Best Answer right here

    • Also, I happen to be a very hot, intelligent, self-righteous, not stuck-up, and somewhat conceited female. Perhaps that has something to do with it. Also, you've been blocked simply because I've seen your answers before and didn't like them, but now that you've commented on my question, I just simply have no tolerance for you. Goodbye.

    • I have a man, thanks.

    • Show Older
  • I don't know any guy who doesn't like having that done to him but like if I loved her and stuff, why should that matter? I like this girl and she is a virgin and thinks that it is really gross and degrading but I think that it is sexy that she has that self respect. It wouldn't stop me from going down on her though.

    • As a clearly very biased answerer, I really like and appreciate your answer. I realize a lot of people feel that you should be comfortable to do anything with a person you love and trust, and that's fine. But it also needs to be realized that not everyone is like that. Love and trust should not be measured by how open you are to varying sexual activities. I am willing to respect the views and comfort zones of my partner as long as he is willing to do the same. It's about loving the person.

  • Show More

What Girls Said 15

  • i know guys who won't date girls who won't give them a bj

  • Well... okay. I can understand where you are coming from. It is a personal preference if you don't want to give a blowjob to your partner. However, if I was interested in someone who didn't give oral to me.. I wouldn't pursue them anymore. Personally for me, (and just me) you should be willing to do anything in bed. Especially if you end up loving that person... and lets say get married. Why should their be intimate walls in a relationship? Sex is not the only thing in a relationship but it is a factor. Its one way you show your affection to one another as well as nurture a relationship. I would also hate to think their is a part of my body that partner would not want to touch... or kiss. It would make me feel bad and ugly. I could only imagine how a man feels when his wife refuses to give him oral. It just doesn't seem right to me. Sex doesn't equal love... but in love.. there is love making and you should enjoy each others bodies and feel comfortable giving as well as receiving.

  • lol! Necessary? Girl, when you want a guy you can't wait to give it to him! Perhaps the prob is the guy because for me if the guy is right, I can't wait to do it. It is so fun, it's like guess what I got for you hon! It's Christmas! YIPPPEEE! YUM!

  • i absoulutely agree.. blow job's are necessary in a relationship. it's not fair for a guy to do oral on the girl if he doesn't get it in return.. and its the same way for the girl she shouldnt do oral on the guy if he doesn't return the favor

  • would you give up oral? :P

    • For real now? :O

    • I don't even WANT oral lol

  • yea wtf is up bj's being very important? no they arn't! I just think bj's were invented a century or 2 ago just because some sexually frustrated folks got bored with old school style, so dump the guy who ever forces you to blow him and I also don't care being eaten because its disgusting when a guy goes down on you and then he comes to kiss you on your mouth with the same dirty mouth he ate you, eeoww,

    • So get him to wash out his mouth?

  • no. trust, commitment, confidence, love and honesty are necessary to relationships

  • I think it does matter why the girl won't do it. There shouldn't really be anything that's totally non-negotiable if you're in a truly loving relationship.

    Breaking it off because of that (or something related) is not a strictly sexual reason. It means there's some other issue (whether it's selfishness or a lack of trust, etc.) that's interfering with your ability to communicate and compromise. When you love someone, you compromise with each other, not because you have to, but because you LOVE each other. It's impossible to spend your life with someone happily and never compromise; we all have our differences.

    You're looking at things on the surface and judging others because they have different values than you. What if you were madly in love with someone, and he wanted to talk to you about a compromise? Would you turn him away and claim he doesn't love you just because he doesn't love every single thing you do exactly the way you do it then?

    Perhaps some people will tell you it's not necessary for them, and I don't think it's the blowjob itself that's necessary, but it's the trust and intimacy you have in that moment when you're willing to be completely vulnerable to them. In my experience, oral has felt much more intimate than sex, and that's why it took me longer to do. But the only guy I've ever given oral to, never ever asked me for it. I did it because I loved him so I wanted to try something new, because I trusted him.

  • personally I don't find bjs necessary, they are fun. no big deal if you don't want to do it.. don't do it

    but why the need to bitch out at men for wanting bjs.

    If your girlfriend isn't sucking your d***.. get another gf.. if your boyfriend doesn't believe in oral and won't eat you gooch, there are plenty of other willing dudes!

    This is just to express my opinion..

    turn off the f***ing email notifications if you don't want to see it!

    Im answering this question for anyone ELSE who may also wonder the same thing as your originally posted question.. why> its a good question.

    doesn't make you the lord of this question just because you have been satisfied with an answer.

    grow the f*** up and l2 disable email notifications (l2 = learn to)

    or better yet!... UHH stop responding to them!? duh!

  • Some guys have called me a frigid prude because I wouldn't give them head.

    • In psychoanalytic theory, reaction formation is a defensive process (defense mechanism) in which anxiety-producing or unacceptable emotions and impulses are mastered by exaggeration (hypertrophy) of the directly opposing tendency<<--- Sounds like you, doesn't it?

      Your response to people's answers suggest that you have some major insecurities. Usually, arrogant, condescending people like you have something to hide. Try talking to me when you get off your high horse, bitch.

    • Oh dear, it looks like you can't read. Why don't you try reading the comments you post? I do know more about you than you know about me. In fact, everyone who reads this question knows more about you than you know about them. You've made it publicly known that you will not give blowjobs under any circumstances, you think it's disgusting, and you even admitted that you're conceited and self-righteous. Your language in and of itself is condescending.

    • Blah blah blah blah. Actually, the same thing could be said here. You don't know any more about me than I know about you. So if you want me to reserve judgments about you, then you should do the same.

      I personally couldn't care less what you do and don't do. Also, calling me honey in order to sound condescending over the internet - nice. You've really put me in my place now that you've called me a bitch. I feel so hurt and abashed.

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  • if he's serious about you, he won't make you do what you're not comfortable with. there is no rule that states that a girl has to do that inorder to maintain a relationship.

    • True, but aren't relationships all about sacrifice? If he enjoys it so much, where's the harm in relenting once a month for his happiness? I'm sure he'll return the favor and not even necessarily in a sexual manner if you aren't into it, particularly if he realizes that you don't like it

  • I don't feel it is a requirement any more than I think my dates have to go down on me, but I do think most guys truly enjoy a good bj. I rather enjoy making the guy I am with happy and would never refuse to give him a bj and in fact I probably jump on it with out him saying much of anything.

  • not neccessary imo

  • Girl I've made it very clear I don't give blowjobs to guys and they still want to pop my cherry. Don't listen to these guys lol. Now true, for some guys it is a dealbreaker because they really like it but most guys are fine with just putting it in, if you know what I mean.

    A vagina beats a mouth any day for most guys, you just have to make sure you are willing to explore other options like new sex positions, places, and maybe even things like toys and food. Sadly you do have to compensate for the loss of oral sex in the relationship.

    It's utterly degrading to me so I will NEVER do it, and again, I have turned down many men even tho they knew that about me.

    • For REAL. I think most girls just do it because they believe a man won't stay with them if they don't. But how many of these same girls are broken up with even after degrading themselves sexually? I'll simply take my chances with my no BJ policy.

    • I respect that. And I definitely am not about to judge others. I have friends who are quite open sexually and have done a lot of crazy things. And when they get drunk and in a confiding mood, I've also seen them cry and regret pretty much all of it.

      Therefore, I agree. I don't want to regret these types of things especially. And any man I am with who wants me do so for the transient pleasure of any perverse fantasy, was never a worthy partner to begin with.

    • Atta girl! The girls giving blowjobs aren't keeping relationships any longer than the ones that don't, they can just get a man to sleep with them a little easier when they know that they're willing to do it. I don't have a problem with other girls doing it or think they're sluts or anything, don't get me wrong, it's just not something I ever wanna do.

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  • YES

    I was never keen on give boys BJs,

    only to my boyfriends

    its a intimate thing, guy dnt think of it like tht but I DO!

    i never liked it but now I love giving it to my man ,

    u have control over them ! hearing them turns me on.

    • "u have control over them ! hearing them turns me on."

      im pretty sure that's why I'd love it

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