Why am I so afraid of sex?

Ok so. I am 21 years old and a virgin. I have always wanted to wait until marriage NOT because of any religious reason. Just for my own peace , blahblah don't give me your opinion on this particular aspect please lol. Anyways. I have literally the most amazing man. He is fully committed to me and has made it very very clear that he will wait until I am ready. However.. I don't know WHEN I'll be ready. How will I know? I was raised by parents who always told me to wait until marriage, because that is the "right" way. I always believed them. I will feel immensely guilty for going against them (I'm the goody two shoes, unfortunately). But now I have the best man any woman could ever ask for. And yes.. we've been together a long while now. We both get tempted A LOT, but he always makes sure to keep his promise to me (I definitely feel bad for him lol but he loves me to death, it's super cute). I just feel that I am so scared of sex. What if he doesn't fit in me? Lol. What if it's really weird? What if I bleed to death LOL i dont know.. what if I don't know what to do? What if I get pregnant? What if I feel really guilty after? He is SO committed to me that it is scary because I know we are so serious now and it's bound to happen. I shouldn't be scared at this point. I am mostly scared of getting pregnant since I don't know much about brith control (how to get it.. how it works.. I was never really taught, not even in school). Is this fear really normal? It's going to hurt a lot. That's another thing. Ahhh
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Most Helpful Girls

  • It'll all be ok. Take a deep breath and relax.

    It's better to lead up to full on penetration. Get used to each other's bodies and your own sexual response. When fully aroused, the vagina should be both expanded and lubricared -which negates a lot of issues. Don't be ashamed to ask to be stroked or receive oral sex until this happens.

    This book was helpful to me when I was going through a tough time sexually. I'd suggest it:
    Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction www.amazon.com/.../ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TJIvxb3A58Z4R

  • You can get birth control from your GYN. Just call and talk to them about it. And it doesn't hurt like you think it will. It's more of a dull burning type pain if that makes any sense, but on a 0 to 10 scale. I'd put it at a 3 maybe? It's really just more uncomfortable at first. And there isn't thos huge gush of blood, there was hardly any my first time. Like seriously a dab.

    • Can I just get it at a pharmacy? Do I really need to speak to someone about getting birth control? Do they tell my parents, or question me at all? Errr. Sometimes I wish he was still a virgin too so I could feel better. I know that's super selfish of me though lol >< He actually cried last night saying he would take back his experiences to save it for me if he could. But he's lucky he got through his first time though. This is just so agonizing, I dont know

    • No you will need a perscription for it, but no they won't tell your parents.

  • Im the same way. Just try to step out of your comfort zone with him (im assuming you trust him). Thats probably what ill do with mine when were not long distance.

  • Try fingering and also toys first before you fuck him! Get comfy with your body. Use google to learn about bc.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Just talk to him bout it. You shouldn't fear this at all, millions of people do it. And don't worry about it not fitting, the vagina adjusts accordingly when aroused and during intercourse to accommodate your partner thought it might be a little in comfortable at first. And about the guilt, if you have any reasons not to, address them logically before you have sex, and afterwards if you feel guilty hold on to your prior reasons. Men feel this a lot when they begin masturbating.

    Just use some form of protection.

    The best of luck

  • Um well normally one gets so hornyy that they kind of let that side take over. I am a guy yes but I do see where it can be scary for a women.. Just let the guy do his thing and he will be able to feel it all out. Don't put a road block up... It will cause him to seek elsewhere (porn, fantisize, etc) and I'm sure you're saying "Not MY man" but you are so wrong. SO wrong. :-)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • hun read the bible
    and read what marriage is

    and look what the world is doing now with marriage
    follow scripture not people

  • Are you two getting each other off in other ways?

    Most women enjoy intercourse more than anything else. There's no reason to expect you will be different when you begin.